If ever a girl wants or needs to feel special, she just needs to go to her Daddy. Daddy's have a way of making their daughters feel like the most beautiful and wonderful creatures on earth! My dad was no exception.
Mom did a good job of making us feel special, but there's something a little different about dads doing the same thing. I know that my daughter feels like she is the apple of her daddy's eye. And she is.
Being a mother, I know that so often it's
Mom who sets the tone with the child-rearing. I think dads really need and WANT that guidance! However, I think it's just a Dad's "right" to be that someone special in his daughter's life. We moms know when to step back and let that magic happen!
I have so many memories of my dad. I try to think about them and tell those stories as often as I can so that I never lose the memories. My dad has been gone for almost 24 years now. In some ways that seems inconceivable. I can still rustle up so many images of him in my head and I can hear his voice.
I know Jim often gets tickled and says he can just see and hear Daddy at the open trunk of the car in the golf course parking lot rummaging through his golf bag. He would always have a lot of change in his pockets that he would take out and put in his golf bag before playing. He had keys and a few business cards. He was always rustling around and fiddling. It took him a while to get himself ready for a day on the links!
Oh. And he had notes. Notes in every one of his pockets, on his desk, on his dresser, in the car. You name it. He had notes scribbled here and there. (And I wonder how I became nicknamed "The Sticky Note Aunt" by my nephew, Porter? The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, I suppose).
Another thing that Daddy had in his pocket was a silver cross. He carried it everywhere. It was actually called
The Cross In My Pocket. It came with a little card that explained it. It was so meaningful to him that he bought a whole case of them and gave them to a lot of people he cared about. When I walked into Central United Methodist Church for his funeral, I had that cross clutched in my hand. I still have that very cross, along with a few others that he had given me along the way. The cross was engraved with the words
Jesus Christ is Lord. I know this meant so much to my dad. And its meaning has stayed with me throughout my life.
But back to that thought of girls being the apple of their daddy's eye. My dad
usually was in my court. When Mom thought that my waist-length hair was too long, it was Daddy who said it was beautiful and feminine and that he thought it was okay to wear it that long. And you'd better believe at that moment, I did think I had the most beautiful hair in the world!
(I'd rather not talk about the times Daddy thought my dress was too short or I had too much blue eye shadow on. Those are the moments when
girls need their moms!)
Daddy always called me Doodler. I am not sure exactly where this term came from, but he always called me that. I would receive letters in college from him that started with 'Dear Doodler'. I even got letters from him with the same salutation long after I was married and had 2 little boys.
Daddy's pet name for Martha was Punkin. Again, I can't say that I know how that originated. But he called her that for many years.
We always teased Daddy about getting us confused. He only had 2 children to keep up with so you wonder how difficult that could be! He frequently called me Martha, and my sister was called Mary more times than you can imagine. The best thing was when he got really confused....or was just plain lazy....he would simply say 'Punkin Doodler'. That covered his bases and whoever was within earshot came running!
Daddy made me feel so special that I never minded filling his tea glass, fetching him the paper, or adjusting the color on the TV. I remember when we got our first color TV what a thrill it was! We got 3 channels and had to turn everything on manually (yes, we had to pull out a button for the TV to come on). In order to get the color right, we had to turn 2 knobs...one for color and one for brightness. It seemed the color TV would often be out of whack and the faces of the movie stars would be red or sometimes yellow. Daddy would fiddle with it until he became frustrated.
Speak of making me feel "special".....Daddy always told me I had a "magic touch" when adjusting the color TV! So much so that he'd call me out of my bedroom or the kitchen to come into the den and put my magic touch to work. Not only was I ready, willing, and able, but I also believed that I really did have that magic touch since Daddy was always so thrilled with the results! Only for my Daddy.
Daddy loved golf. He loved it to a
fault. He was never really great at golf, but it didn't seem to get in the way of his passion for the game. I think that is one of the lovely things about golf. You don't necessarily have to be great at the game in order to play it and to love it.
When I was about 12 or 13, Daddy would go out to Riverbend on the weekend to play golf. Knowing he wasn't the next Arnold Palmer, he hesitated to invite anyone to play with him. He got the
yips and was very nervous having others watch him play. But not his little girl. He always told me I was his "good luck charm" on the golf course. So, motivated by not only spending an afternoon with my Daddy, but also by getting a cherry coke and the opportunity to drive the golf cart when we got out on the course, I could never turn down a Saturday date to go play golf with my dad. That, and the feeling of being Daddy's special little girl. Daddy insisted that he always played his best rounds with me. It didn't get much better than that.
Daddy and his brothers were good employers. Most of the people who worked at Porter Brothers really loved working there. I think there was a sense of fairness and appreciation that is often lacking in businesses today.
I know Daddy not only liked making his daughters feel special, but he also liked making his employees feel special. He kept a calendar with each employee's birthday marked on it. Once a month he would go uptown to the drug store and buy birthday cards for these employees. I remember going with him many times. Somehow he made me feel like I had a "gift" for picking out just the right cards! We would go into the store with the list in hand, and start perusing the card rack and choosing just the right ones. I remember a few occasions when the weather was great and we'd walk uptown. I don't remember if we walked from Woodside Drive, Ridgeview Dr., or it might have been just from the Porter Brothers building which was right next to the railroad tracks at the corner of Lafayette and Sumter (I think that is the correct crossroads). Anyway, I remember that feeling of walking the streets of Shelby hand in hand with my dad.
The best part of all of this is that Daddy would take the cards home and hand write and personalize each of them. I didn't realize at the time what a wonderful gesture that was, but it definitely made an impact on me. For as long as I can remember, I have kept a calendar with the birthdays and anniversaries of my friends and family members. I have a system where I write and address the cards at the beginning of each month. I pencil in the date in the corner where the stamp will go and stack them on my desk. I mail them as the date approaches.
I guess this is another reason I'm often told that I'm a lot like my Daddy.
Speaking of walking uptown....I remember just Daddy and me going uptown to buy a camera. It was a Kodak Instamatic. Remember those cameras that used the cube shaped bulbs? The reason this particular shopping event is so memorable is that the camera was for me. I have always loved pictures and I have loved to take pictures since I was about 12 years old. In fact, in my old age, I might just get a really good camera and dabble in some more exotic photography! Anyway, I babysat and saved my money until I had enough to buy this camera. I think it was $19.95 plus tax. It was a big purchase for me and Daddy didn't fail to make me feel special about this as well. He loved pictures too, but I think he might have been ranked as one of the worst photographers on the planet! He was probably glad to relinquish the job of taking the obligatory photographs on each holiday, vacation and birthday. He praised me for having a goal and working towards that goal....and succeeding! It was a proud moment for me, thanks to my Daddy.
Going to Sunday School and church every Sunday morning was an important part of our lives. We never got up and asked "are we going to church today?" We KNEW we were going! It actually started on Saturday. After a day of playing, chores, errands and visiting, we came in and took a bath, shampooed and rolled our hair, made sure our shoes were shined, and laid out our dress and accessories to wear the next morning. There were no sleepovers on Saturday nights! But Daddy made Martha and me feel like his special little girls. He loved having his family together and "showing us off!" People who sat in pews behind us often commented that the Porter girls surely did have pretty and shiny hair! That Saturday night work paid off. I think walking into church with his beautiful wife and his two girls made my Dad beam with pride! And there's nothing wrong with that. I know the feeling all too well. It's nice to be proud to be a member of a family.
Another place Daddy liked to "show off" his girls was at the office. I don't know why it was such a thrill to me to go there, but it was! I loved sitting at Daddy's desk and looking through the drawers at the paper clips, rubber bands, pens, pencils, rubber stamps and ink pads. I liked walking down the hallways and speaking to all the employees. Dad's assistant, Mary Anne, was always kind to let me come "work" at her desk! Sometimes when I look at old pictures or some of the keepsakes of my dad's, I can actually conjure up the smell that the office had. It was distinct and unique. I never tired of going to Porter Brothers.
I remember special visits there when we got to go into the back warehouse. We loved buying a Nehi Grape Soda and a moon pie from the vending machine. That had to be the best snack in the world! I'm sure it is pretty low on the food pyramid and Mom probably wouldn't have approved of our eating that and spoiling our dinner, but once in a while I think it was okay.
And the best part of all was when we got to go into the warehouse and ride on the fork lift. Now that was an experience almost as thrilling as a ride at the Cleveland County Fair!
One night Daddy needed to go to the office to get something after hours. Already in our pajamas, Martha and I begged to go along with him for the ride. Of course, he gave in....always happy to have our company. I didn't know much about burglar alarm systems back then, but I remember Dad always going in and calling the police station to let him know he was in the building. I can hear him now! Well, this particular night he must have had a lot on his mind. Whatever he needed to do at the office had him distracted. We were walking around, sitting at desks and "playing" work (is that an oxymoron?) when suddenly there were sirens and police ascending upon the building. It scared me to death! Daddy spoke to them, showed some identification and cleared things up in a hurry. Apparently this night he didn't call in to let them know he was in the building. It was a brief thrill, but one that made for a great story to be told over and over again!
Another fond memory of my dad that he enjoyed as much, if not more, as I was our days of "visiting." Daddy loved to visit. I loved to go along with him. He always made me feel special and he was attentive to me, so it was not something I wanted to turn down. He loved to visit his sister, Madeline. I loved to go there too. Madeline always was the same.....pleasant, sweet, soft-spoken and kind. She was a wonderful cook and always had homemade goodies. She would offer Daddy a piece of pie or cake and he always accepted. Sometimes he showed how special and trustworthy he thought I was when he'd whisper in my ear, "Doodler, don't tell Mama I ate pie today!" Looking back on that simply makes me smile from ear to ear! Sometimes I ate Madeline's homemade treats, but sometimes I opted for the candy she ALWAYS had in a candy dish on her coffee table. To this day I can't eat a Brach's Royals candy without thinking of Madeline. I loved them and I loved how she always let us just help ourselves.
Daddy also enjoyed visiting his Aunt Tommie and his cousin Edwin. He also visited good friends such as the Gregorys and the Newmans. Yes. Those days of visiting will forever be a part of me. It is still something I enjoy doing when given the chance.
As I grew into an adult the wonderful memories of my dad didn't cease. I always loved being around him and I always wanted to make him proud. He made me feel special all the time, so I wanted to continually show him that I was indeed special.
I have enjoyed arts and crafts of many kinds for most of my life. To me, giving someone a handmade gift is to make them feel special. I don't make things for "just anybody." If you receive something handmade from me, it is because I want you to feel special. Of course, Daddy deserved something really great made from my hands. I wanted to show him how special I thought he was. It was a big project.
When Mom and Dad moved into the house they built on Lynhurst Lane, I decided to crochet an afghan for Daddy for Father's Day. I knew he liked to "rest his eyes" on the sofa or in the recliner on a Sunday afternoon while a basketball, football, baseball game or golf match blared on the TV.
I found a bit of the sofa's upholstery and I took it to the store to buy yarn for this afghan. I matched the sofa as best as I could, but in hindsight, I would have used more peach and less pink and a lighter shade of brown. I guess it doesn't really matter than I'm not 100% thrilled with it. Apparently Mom and Dad were thrilled. That afghan has been hanging on the back of that sofa for almost 31 years! It has been used to snuggle with on many a long afternoon. So I try to look at the afghan, not as a piece of handwork that I feel isn't perfect, but as a symbol of a special bond that I had as Daddy's Little Girl.
He told Martha and I often that we were the "apples of his eye." And I don't doubt that for a moment!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The term 'apple of my eye' originated in the Bible where it is mentioned 5 times. This is how God sees His chosen ones, and this is how we should see God and His Word. We are His prize and He is ours.
“Keep me as
the apple of Your eye; Hide me under the shadow of Your wings.” ~
Psalm 17:8 NKJV
|
The Cross In My Pocket |
|
Daddy's Little Girl
(in front of the old Porter Bros.) |
|
STILL Daddy's Little Girl
(on our way down the aisle!) |
|
And STILL Daddy's Little Girl
(now the mother of two boys!) |
|
Afghans do match the sofa |