The Breakfast Room

Mom's breakfast room was one of my favorite rooms in her house.  I liked the look of the room, but the reason it was one of my favorite rooms is because what happened in the breakfast room.

Breakfast, of course, happened in the breakfast room (often accompanied by burnt toast!).  Breakfast for me is usually just coffee.  Black coffee.  And lots of it.  The best part of the day is having the time to sit in the breakfast room and drink this massive amount of coffee in a relaxed manner.  It is also best shared with someone else.  Mom and I spent many hours in her breakfast room drinking coffee.  Whenever I came back to Florida after a Shelby visit, Mom always called me to tell me the thing she missed most was waking up to coffee and me sitting at the breakfast room table.  We often said we solved a lot of the world's problems during that time!  We talked about everything.  Those moments will always remain some of my fondest memories with Mom.  I think she feels the same way.

One Valentine's Day I sent her a pink coffee mug.  I knew it would be symbolic of these morning spent with her.  I was always amazed at how the morning would creep close to noon!  I am an early riser, so this means a lot of time was spent drinking coffee.  I was always relaxed on my visits to Shelby.  It was special.

Of course, breakfast isn't the only meal we ate at that oak table.  We ate most of our meals there unless there were too many people to fit around the table.  It was usually big enough once we added the two leaves.  Whenever Jim and my kids were able to come to Shelby, we often had delicious meals at Mom's house in that breakfast room.  The Yeltons usually joined us and we would have some wonderful conversations and laughs. 

Mom and Gene loved to play gin.  They played gin almost every afternoon at that breakfast room table.  Mom said that whenever Gene came over he rarely made it past that room!  I think she let him go down the hall to the den whenever there was a ballgame on tv.  Seriously, I think those games of gin were a blessing to both Gene and Mom.  They had a lot of good conversations and some laughs every day when they played.  They also had some serious betting going on!  Mom said she usually lost one to two dollars to Gene each time.  I think he must have had the upper hand....or he often had the luck of the draw!  I know that since Mom moved to Florida, probably the thing she misses most is those afternoon gin games with Gene.  I know he is lonely without her, but he does play gin frequently with his brother, Bill. 

There is a plaque on Mom's breakfast room wall that says:  'Be kind to your kids.  They choose your nursing home.'  Stratford Court is far from a nursing home, but Mom totally and completely trusted Jim and me to find it and choose it for her.  It was a bit stressful, but I think I can rest easy now.  Mom loves it there and we all know it was the best thing for her to do.  I give Jim a lot of credit for doing the research and for finding Stratford.  Mom loves it that her son-in-law actually did this for her and that he actually wanted her here.  None of those mother-in-law jokes come out of Jim's mouth!  He really loves Mom and does not find her to be a burden in any way.  I know this to be true because he keeps her stocked with Snickers Bars and Baby Ruths!

Mom went to the local art gallery, Buffalo Creek, and bought an odd statue.  I know Martha thought she was a bit off her rocker!  It is unusual and not quite Mom's usual taste.  It is basically a wood trunk with a skinny neck and a flat head.  It is supposed to be a man, and I can see the artistic interpretation in the piece.  I think Mom bought it with my son, Joseph, in mind.  Joseph is an artist and a musician and because of that, he has been stereotyped into one who likes 'weird' stuff!  I guess he doesn't mind.  When Grandma moved, I made sure Joseph took this piece.  I knew he would truly appreciate it.

Mom's breakfast room table was used for meals and for playing cards.  It was also used for letter writing, bill paying, newspaper reading and wordsearch puzzles.  Mom used to complain about being worried about 'losing it,' as she calls it.  I told her she had to exercise her brain as much as possible.  One way I decided was to have her work on wordsearch puzzles.  All throughout school, as a student and a teacher, I used wordsearch puzzles.  They were a great tool to help students use their brains and logic and to search for spelling words or vocabulary words.  I started making wordsearch puzzles on my computer and mailing them to Mom to work on.  She really got into them.  I tried to theme each one and personalize them so that they were more fun and meaningful.  One Christmas I found a giant wordsearch puzzle book and gave it to Mom.  I knew she would always have it and would not have to wait around for me to create new puzzles and mail them to her.

Now that Mom is at Stratford Court, she keeps that wordsearch book next to her chair in her little den.  She says that she is never bored as long as she has something to read or that puzzle book to work on!

Mom's breakfast room was decorated with all sorts of things.  The serving counter had Joe's artwork entitled Arizona Sunset hanging above it.  He gave that to his grandma one Christmas knowing she loved to display things that her grandchildren made and also knowing the breakfast room was a perfect spot for it.  It is a great piece and after Mom moved, I made sure that piece came with me.  It now hangs in my little hallway where I have a lot of Joe's artwork displayed.

Porter is another creative grandchild.  He made a collage for Grandma one Christmas.  He put pictures on it and used each letter of Grandma to start a sentence about her.  It is really sweet and special and it had a prominent place on the wall in her breakfast room.  It now hangs in her bedroom at Stratford Court and she sees it, along with Porter's picture, every morning when she wakes up.

We often tease Mom about having so many pictures of Madeline around, but then, so do I.  Madeline has always liked to have her picture made, unlike my boys.  Also as a dancer and performer, there have been many photo shoots and opportunities for pictures.  It's hard not to have an abundance of these pictures on display.  Mom's breakfast room had a little collection of Madeline photos in the corner of her counter.  I think the boys understand why there are so many pictures of Madeline around.  I hope they don't feel slighted!  Tim, Madeline's future father-in-law, got a 'tour' of Mom's apartment one night after we had dinner at Stratford Court with her.  He saw the collection of pictures of Madeline (and Eric) on her refrigerator and he leaned over and whispered in my ear, "looks like Madeline is the favorite!"  Of course we laughed and I knew he didn't mean it, but I have since gotten a collection of pictures of all the other grandkids to put on Mom's refrigerator to even things out a little!  

Mom had a  blue antique bowl on the center of her breakfast room table.  She brought it to Florida with her and it is in her den.  It has always been a piece that brings a smile to us.  We call it her Buick. 

When Jim and I were young married 'kids' without a lot of money, we needed another car.  Sharing a car was getting kind of old.  Gus Gregory is a dear family friend and he had an old Buick 225 that he was trading in for a new car.  When he learned that we needed a car, he sold us his Buick for $225.00.  He was just a kind man doing a huge favor for two struggling newlyweds.  It was a bargain.  Jim loves to brag that we drove that car for a year and then sold it ourselves for $325.00!  It was probably one of the best car deals we ever made. 

One night we were visiting Mom and Dad and having dinner at the breakfast room table.  We commented on the pretty blue bowl, and somehow in the conversation we learned that Mom paid $250.00 for the bowl.  It was extravagant, but she said it just happened in a weak moment!  Jim was totally amazed and he said astonishingly, "that is more than I paid for my Buick!"  Thus, the Buick bowl.  We call it that to this day.

Mom has some interesting things in her breakfast room that people gave her for gifts.  Mom really is a good cook, but she likes to claim she isn't.  I guess as she has gotten older, she has truly gotten away from cooking a lot, so the jokes about her cooking have continued.  (The burnt toast is not a joke, however.  Just ask anyone who has been over to Mom's for breakfast!)  Someone gave her a cute porcelain plaque that says:  'Many people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal, healthy lives.'  Mom wasn't insulted.  She proudly displayed this plaque right on her cabinet!

Another friend gave her a beautiful mosaic stepping stone inscribed with the 23rd Psalm.  It is also proudly displayed in her breakfast room.  It is a wonderful reminder to all of us that the Lord truly is our shepherd.

 Mom had some Russian drinking vessels on the wall in her breakfast room.  We moved those to Florida and hung them in her kitchen above the tea cart that we also moved from her breakfast room.  It made that little kitchen look special!   Mom and Dad purchased these drinking vessels in New York at Yale R. Burge.  They are unique 18th century vessels.  These same vessels can be seen in "Fiddler on the Roof," which is always special to me because I know that was Daddy's favorite musical.  He loved it!  I cannot hear "If I Were a Rich Man" or "Sunrise Sunset" without thinking of Daddy.

Another unusual thing Mom had in her breakfast room were sconces on the wall.  They are made out of real spindles from a loom.  They are significant because Shelby really became a mill town after 1920 and the cotton industry was important to its growth and success.  We left those sconces on the wall when Mom moved, but when I was there just last month I saw them and decided to ship them to Florida to my home.  I now have them hanging in my breakfast room above the old wooden table crumber that Mom also had hanging in her breakfast room.  So many memories.



Mom had a couple more things in her breakfast room that hold significance for me.  One is a beautiful needlepoint pillow on the captain's bench under the window.  This pillow is of two kittens and I love it!  When I asked Mom if someone made it for her she told me no that she bought it because I liked cats and it matched the sofa.  Sounds like good reasons to me.  Mom isn't much of a pet lover, so I felt like she really did have me in mind when she bought the pillow.

Probably one of the most interesting things Mom had in her breakfast room is an antique high chair.  She did move it to Florida and has it in her dining room.  It has always been a conversation piece.  She bought this high chair when I was pregnant with Joseph.  She actually used that high chair for all 3 of my children and for Porter whenever any of the grandchildren visited.  I can't believe an antique high chair survived all of that!  It was not the most comfortable or practical high chair, but it will always be special.  I have dibs on it if I ever have a grandchild.  But I guess I can let Mom enjoy it for her great-grandchildren for a while!

I suppose that the breakfast room in my house is used about as much as any room in the house.  Jim likes to use it for his 'desk.'  He claims the internet connection is better there than back in our bedroom where his real desk is.  I think it just feels more homey and keeps him closer to the actions of home.  Plus, if you strain your neck you can see the tv from the breakfast room table!  I often use the table for my craft projects, so I can't say much.

My friends and I play bridge at my breakfast room table and my family and our guests eat most of our meals there.  Sometimes we eat on the lanai or in the dining room for special occasions and sometimes we eat in our easy chairs in front of the tv!  That is a perk for being empty-nesters and having raised 3 kids who ate 3 meals a day at the table.

Many Christmas cards have been addressed at my breakfast room table and games have been played on my iPad at that table.  We play cards, Yahtzee, Apples to Apples and a myriad of other games at the breakfast room table.  We sit there to drink our morning coffee and read the newspaper.  I do the crossword puzzles out of the paper at that table.  Jim and I enjoy morning conversation sitting at the table before our busy days start.  It's nice to sit in the breakfast room and look out onto the lanai and see the pool which always looks so inviting.  I have sat alone at my breakfast room table and said my prayers of thanksgiving, and I have sat there and cried over my losses and my sorrows.

I looked up a definition of breakfast room.  The American Heritage Dictionary entry reads like this:  'Breakfast Room.  n.  A room, as in a house or hotel, in which meals are eaten.'

This definition only skims the surface.  A breakfast room can be a central meeting place for families.  It can be a significant place for conversation.   I cannot count the number of conversations have taken place around Mom's breakfast room table or my own.

I say pour another cup of coffee and let's talk and let's play.

And memories are made of this.

What Happened to November?

Today is December 1, 2012.  My question is this:  what happened to November?  I have always heard that time flies and that the older you get the faster it seems to go.  I have never felt that way so much as I have the last few months!
November was a packed month for us.  Looking back on my calendar for November, there is hardly a blank space.  It started with a day of bridge....what a great way to start the month!  I was host for our Marathon Bridge match.  I always enjoy a day of bridge at the table with the 3 Marys and Anita!  Afterwards, I served lunch and no sooner than I had recuperated from that, it was time to go to my friend's house for a night of bridge!  I am in a couple of bridge groups that meet regularly and this was our regular night to meet.  One can never have too much bridge or the friendly fellowship that accompanies it.  It so happens, the very next morning my other bridge group met!  I (almost) had my fill of bridge, and I enjoyed every moment of it.

November was also a month for arts and crafts festivals.  I love going to them.  There is so much imagination and talent out there in the world.  It just makes my heart soar!  Of course, I am always looking for ideas for my own crafting, but I also bought several things for gifts.  I bought a pottery butter dish for to take to Carol in Shelby.  Little did I know she has a "thing" for butter dishes!
I am always in favor of supporting artists.  My friend, Anita, and I actually wore ourselves completely out one Saturday after attending the Arts and Crafts Festival at my church and then making our way to Dunedin for their annual Art Harvest.  It was huge!  We had such a wonderful time.  Susan Gott was the featured artist at Art Harvest.  She works in several mediums, particularly glass.  Her work is exquisite.  She designed this harvest moon glass sculpture specifically for Art Harvest.  This design was used on the tee shirts sold for Art Harvest.  As Anita was buying some of Susan Gott's artwork,  I met her and she mentioned the tee shirts and told me to go buy one so she could sign it for me.  So of course I did.  I am a sucker for long sleeve tee shirts and I don't think I own one that is signed by the artist herself.

This November was also a time for our country to elect our new president.  Although I am not sure everyone in our family agreed on who to vote for, I am happy that everyone chose to exercise their right to vote and we all went to the polls.  Our votes were cast and our voices heard.  It made watching the election results that evening much more exciting and meaningful.  It feels good to know that you participated in this huge and important event.

November seemed to be a month for appointments....for both Mom and myself.  We had to keep a close watch on our calendars to see who needed to be where and when!  It always feels good to get those appointments completed and marked off the to-do list.  And it feels especially good when the results from the doctors and dentists are all healthy and positive.  

I went back to Shelby in November (although I had just been there the month before) to see Porter's performance in his school production of 'Blithe Spirit'.  He played Charles Condomine in Noel Coward's comic play from 1941.  This is a demanding role and Porter found himself on stage almost entirely throughout the production.  He had to learn a multitude of lines and he spent a lot of time working on the play (as he was also the stage manager). The hard work certainly paid off.  I thought he was fabulous!  Having done some community theater myself, I know first hand what goes into a production like this.  Not only were these young people dedicated to putting on a first-class performance, they all managed to continue to keep up their schoolwork.....AND their good spirits!  I am glad I was able to see Porter perform.

As I watched Porter on stage, I had all sorts of thoughts, feelings and emotions.  I guess the worst of them being that I was so sorry his mother was not there. She would have been so proud.  But the best part of that is knowing that so much of Porter's determination and work ethic are attributed to her wonderful mothering.  

I also saw my own children up on that stage in Porter.  I had never realized how much he looked like my kids until that night.  Family genes are truly amazing.  Porter definitely has some of those Porter genes!  

I remember one time when Mom came to Florida to see Madeline's dance recital and she kept saying afterwards that she saw Jimmy on that stage.  It was the first time she had seen such a family resemblance between those two siblings.  Of course, it helped that Madeline was dressed as a boy in that particular performance!  I do know what Mom means....now more than ever.

While I was in Shelby seeing Porter's play, I stayed with my friend, Carol.  Her hospitality was wonderful!  I slept later each morning than normal because she created such a comfortable room for me to sleep in.  She drove me around, lended a listening ear, and fed me livermush and cheese grits....what could be better than that?!  

One day Carol, Sally, Beth and I went into Carol's basement and spent hours working on a fun craft project.  Carol made chili for us and had a fire going in the fireplace.  We listened to Christmas music as well as some good old 70's tunes and we laughed and talked a lot as we worked.  Carol also made homemade vanilla ice cream and blueberry cobbler.  It was truly a wonderfully perfect afternoon and evening.

Thanksgiving was a little earlier than usual this year.  I had a lot to do to get ready for our Thanksgiving week.  Bob and Porter came from Shelby.  Madeline and Mom are living here this year.  What a blessing that is!  No more airline tickets and airport pickups to coordinate.  Jimmy lives here in Clearwater, so it was nice having almost everyone.  We missed Joseph and Ashley, but they just couldn't make it down.  They are coming for Christmas, so we really look forward to that!

Thanksgiving week begins with lots and lots of grocery shopping, cleaning, and organizing.  This year I organized the first annual Turkey Olympics.  We had Team Bob and Team Jim.  In hindsight, the teams were not exactly even, but Bob is a true sportsman and graciously conceded.  Team Jim won on most accounts, in particular the Corn Hole Tournament.  Mom was such a good sport and decided to try to play.  You should have seen her face when she got one of the beanbags in the hole!  It was priceless.  I love that she was willing to try and join in on the games.  Madeline made a giant chart to tally all the points for each of the different events.  I can't believe I won the coloring contest this year....I had some stiff competition.  Porter and Madeline take their coloring seriously.  Mom improved her guessing skills significantly over last year.  She won the guess for the number of peanuts in the jar.  She was (rightfully) proud of herself.

Madeline won the guess for the mini marshmallows in a jar.  Amazingly, she was actually only 4 marshmallows off.  I don't know how she managed to guess so closely.

The best part of Madeline's big win was what she chose to do with her prize of this jar of mini marshmallows.  I cannot remember ever laughing as hard as I did when I walked out on the lanai Thanksgiving night and saw Madeline sitting at the table with a small tea light candle, toothpicks and mini marshmallows.  She was diligently roasting these mini marshmallows on toothpicks over the tea light bonfire!  It was a sight to behold!  Of course, Porter and I jumped right on the bandwagon and joined her.  These little marshmallows taste really good when you burn them and eat them off the toothpick.  It was about as close to a campfire as we get here in Florida!

Thanksgiving morning started bright and early with us all trekking to Clearwater High School to participate in the annual Turkey Trot.  It is a tiring walk for me, but it really sets the tone for the day.  I loved walking with my family and the Barnes family.  It was chillier than it has been in years past, so it felt a bit more like Thanksgiving.  Porter, Eric, Adam and Tim were happy for a little reprieve in the weather as they always run the 5K.  The rest of us enjoy it at a slower pace.

We celebrated the holiday with our usual feast.  Porter made the macaroni and cheese casserole again, and it was a group favorite, as always.  Porter also peeled carrots for me.  He said it was his first time ever peeling carrots and he agreed that it is sort of fun to use that handy little vegetable peeler!  Madeline has perfected the stuffing so now that has become her annual job.  

My pound cake fell for the first time ever and I made the wrong caramel frosting recipe, but Porter forgave me and ate it anyway.  The pumpkin pies spilled in the oven and the 22 pound turkey was a bit dry, but I still think it was one of our best Thanksgivings ever!

 

At our Thanksgiving dinner table, we had English crackers at our places.  It was fun to crack them open and read the riddles and find the prizes.  I loved seeing everyone around the Thanksgiving table with their paper crowns on their heads!  In the spirit of the Turkey Olympics, we decided to award a prize to the person who kept their crown on the longest.  My crown stayed on throughout dinner and clean up. Bob watched football with his crown resting proudly on his head.  Finally Bob and I called a truce and decided we both won....thus a point for Team Bob and a point for Team Jim.  These crackers were a little added bonus of fun.  

Also at the table, I gave out copies of this blog that I had printed and made into a nice bound book.  I think everyone appreciated them and I hope they enjoy re-reading the posts from time to time.  It is a bit of family history and is certainly full of many memories.  I hope next Thanksgiving I can give them yet another blog book full of even more wonderful memories!  We are on our way towards creating those memories and every day we are living our family's history.

The night before Thanksgiving was a treat for us as well.  Mom had 10 of us in a private dining room at Stratford Court for dinner.  Not only was the meal fun and delicious, it meant a night out of the kitchen for me!  Stratford Court cut no corners.  We had shrimp cocktail, filet mignon, asparagus, salad, rolls, baked potatoes and Boston Cream Pie.  This was a good kick start for our stomachs to prepare for the feast ahead!  Thanks, Mom, for arranging this truly fun evening.

Jim's brother and sister-in-law came the day after Thanksgiving.  Bob, Tommy and Jim got to play a great golf course together and do some male bonding.  I'm sure a day on the links was a welcomed change to being inside watching football and eating massive amounts of food.

And of course, the Yelton's visit would not be complete without a visit to Sungroves for ice cream......FOUR TIMES!

The month rounded out with taking down the Fall decorations and putting up the Christmas decorations.  I do love October through December.  It is a fun and festive time and a wonderful time to spend with family and friends.  

This November I decided to enjoy a little less Bah Humbug from my husband and a little more joy about decking the halls.  Jim has been wanting those large blow up Christmas characters for our front yard for quite some time.  I teased him and fought him on the matter as I have always thought they were tacky.  This year, instead of standing my ground, I decided to throw caution to the wind and head out to Lowe's....on Black Friday, no less.....and buy some of these blow up characters.  I bought an 8 foot snowman and a 4 foot penguin.  Jim was delighted with this surprise!  After putting them up and decorating several trees and bushes with lights, he decided he needed yet another blow up character.  So, he went to the store and bought a 4 foot snowman to go with the large snowman and little penguin friend.  I have to admit, these guys are growing on me!  They kind of make me smile now when I see them.  Our cul-de-sac yard is a perfect place for them as they stand proudly under our large palm tree.  The greatest thing about them is the pleasure they are bringing to Jim.  He is like a kid at Christmas again and I love it!

This November we also booked plane tickets for Joseph and Ashley to fly down here for Christmas, and Madeline and I hung our stockings on our doors in anticipation of a surprise each day from December 1st through the 25th.  This is a tradition we started many years ago.  It is a way for Madeline and I to prolong the season and the gift-giving and surprises.  We both love Christmas so much.  In fact, today we each found our first surprise in our stocking!  I can't wait to see the next 24.  

Last year I started a new tradition for Porter.  Martha liked our stocking idea and kept saying she should do that with Porter.  I don't think they ever got around to it, but I knew it would be something he would enjoy.  Last year I mailed a big box to him with 26 (there was a special surprise for the day AFTER Christmas) little gifts in it.  They were individually wrapped and numbered and he had to open one per day in order.  He reported to me via Facebook what gift he opened that day.  December 1st was an advent calendar so he could begin the countdown to Christmas!  Porter hasn't reported his gift to me today.  I am waiting to hear about it.  I decided to send the box of 25 gifts to him again this year.  Some things we never outgrow!

November's extra activities didn't stop to make way for the usual chores, errands, cooking, cleaning, bowling league, poker group, more bridge, and all the things that just go into any month.  It just made for a jam-packed month.  But that is okay with me.  I like to shake things up from time to time and holiday time 

busy-ness and work is still enjoyable for me.  I can tell that I am getting older as I am not as worried about everything being perfect.  I think that is a good thing.  It allows me to enjoy it a little bit more.  I always think of some of the wonderful words of wisdom that Erma Bombeck spoke about at times like these.  I do plan to worry less and enjoy more.

As time marches on, we continue to pass the torch from person to person, generation to generation.  Some traditions remain and some change. Some new ideas are introduced and are good enough to last and some turn out to have not been the best of ideas.  However, the thing that remains constant throughout this passing of time is the love and the bond of family.   

And memories are made of this.

(Speaking of the late, great Erma Bombeck, here is one of her more humorous statements):

"Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare.  They are consumed in twelve minutes.  Half-times take twelve minutes.  This is not coincidence."

~~Erma Bombeck