Daddy's Desk

On this cloudy Saturday I thought it would be a good day to clean off my desk, set up my new 2014 calendars, and begin putting away the Christmas decorations.  I did a lot of that, but now that I am tired of it and ready to do something else, I was thinking about my Daddy's desk and decided  to write a quick blog about it.

My husband loves to call me Joe Porter.  I guess he is right in so many ways.  I just smile now when he says it.  One of those moments was a recent Sunday sitting in church.  During the middle of the sermon that I was intently listening to (really), I reached down, got my purse off the floor, fumbled around for a piece of paper and a pen and at that moment Jim leaned over and whispered in my ear "Joe Porter."  I just smiled at him because I knew exactly what he meant and why he said that.  My daddy was forever fumbling around with his belongings and he was forever making notes.  I cannot deny that I am so much that very way.  However, something the pastor said sparked something in my mind that had to be written down.  I don't trust my memory for anything.

Daddy's desk at Porter Brothers was such a special place for me.  I loved it when he let me sit at his desk and go through his things.  There were rules, of course, and I never bothered his paperwork.  I just loved to organize his paper clips, rubber bands, scissors and other desk accessories.  I hate to think how many times throughout the years that I have organized mine or someone else's desk!  When I work at my desk either at home or at a job, I know exactly where everything is and even though it might seem like a lot of stuff or jumbled to some, it is shear organization in my mind!  Jim calls our home the house of "stuff."  I do like stuff, but I also like neatness and organization.

Daddy's desk at Porter Brothers had a wooden sign on the front of it with his name:  Joseph M. Porter.  It sat there so proudly and I felt like it made him seem so important.  Of course, he was important, but the sign on his desk wasn't there to tout his place in the business, it was just there as most everyone in the building had a name sign on their desk.  Hanging over my daddy's desk was an oil portrait of his father.  I have had that portrait along with my dad's portrait hanging in my home for years.  I have recently taken them down as I bought a new piece of furniture and the portraits wouldn't fit over it.  I still have them and will hang them somewhere again someday.  Or maybe one of my children would like to have them.  I remember so many times someone coming into my home and asking who those two distinguished gentlemen were.  I was always to proud to say "my dad and my granddad."
I never knew my grandfather because he passed away long before he was born.  All I know of him is what I have been told or what I have read.  I know that in 7th grade we had to take Cleveland County History.  I was always excited to look at page 82 (I think), and read about my grandfather who owned the general store in Belwood!

Daddy's desk always had a certain feel and a certain smell.  I loved sitting in his rolling chair and swinging around to the built in bookshelves and cabinets behind his desk.  I would look at all the books and notebooks and open the cabinets to see all the  business 'stuff' and I would imagine what my Daddy did all day.

I always loved the adding machine.  Oh to add a whole bunch of numbers and listen to them click off and watch that adding machine tape grow out from the top of the machine.  I never did too much of that because Daddy didn't want me wasting the adding machine tape!  But he did let me do it every time.  I guess he saw the thrill that it gave me, so it was worth wasting just a little bit of a roll of adding machine tape.
I also loved to take a pad of paper and open the middle drawer with the now neatly organized pens and pencils and write notes and scribble and doodle.  Hence my nickname, Doodler!

Daddy's desk at home after he retired from Porter Brothers is now back in my bedroom.  Jim was using it for work but he has managed to slowly move into the breakfast room to do his work.  The days of laptops makes that possible for him.  I don't mind.  Now that we don't have a houseful of kids, being in that room is probably more enjoyable for Jim.  I don't like to sit back in our bedroom.  It is too far removed from all the 'action!'
I have been cleaning up this desk and getting it organized.  I use it sometimes, but I still love my little built-in desk in the kitchen.  I guess being out in the middle of the house is just the place to be!  However, I am going to move more and more stuff back to the desk we have in the bedroom because it is such a big, nice desk and it was my Dad's.  I want to use it.  I will really be in my glory since I'll have two desks to organize and sit at to do my various note writing and bill paying.

When Daddy got that desk it was a horror getting it up the stairs and into the room he was using for his office.  The desk is extremely large and heavy.  Unfortunately, he didn't get to use that office long.  He retired in August and died the following April. I remember going up there after he passed away and once I was able to get through his stuff without breaking down, I did enjoy seeing all the snippets of his life in that desk.
Daddy had legal pads filled with notes.  He had things listed like:  buy stamps, call Gus and Elaine, write Martha, pick up dry cleaning, buy birthday card for Mama, etc.  To this day, I have a legal pad front and center on my desk with pages and pages of notes like that.  Jim teased me once about adding things on my list like:  go grocery shopping or visit Mom.  I laughed and took the teasing....because he was right!  Those things were on my list.  If it isn't on the list, it probably isn't happening!
I still have a briefcase full of stuff that I took from Daddy's desk.  It is up on the top shelf of my closet.  I have looked through it a couple of times and slowly I have thrown away some things, but I know I won't be able to throw everything away.  I have to hold on to some things that were so personally Daddy.

I definitely am my Daddy's daughter, but I don't mind.  I learned the most important things in life from my Daddy.  He loved his family, Jesus and his friends.  He kept up with people's birthdays and anniversaries.  He wrote notes to people and surprised people with newspaper clippings, gifts, and jokes.  He received recipes in the mail from a friend he had who loved to cook and he always wrote him back thanking him for sending the recipes.  He never forgot to pay his bills, make his church pledge or go to a board meeting.  His friends knew he was thinking of them because he sent them cards, notes, or gave them a phone call.  He was never without a starched shirt or toothpaste, because he had on his list to pick up his dry-cleaning or go to the drugstore and buy toothpaste.

I miss my Daddy so much, even after all this time.  Some days I just feel like I'm going to burst because I want to talk to him.  I want to ask him about his father.  I want to show him my paintings.  I want him to see my children who are all grown up now.  I want him to walk down the aisle with my Mom at Madeline's wedding.  I want to ask his advice about some investments.  I want to show him my lemon tree and my new bird feeder.  I want him to know that Mom is okay.  That I am okay.
I have to trust the greatest thing he ever taught me and that is that HE is okay.  He walks with Jesus and he probably does, in some way, know all these things about me.  I hope he gets a chuckle when he hears about my fumbling, note-taking and that my organizational skills model his to a T.  I hope he knows that I wear the nickname he gave me many years ago proudly......Doodler is okay and is eternally grateful for all the things that were and are Joseph Mills Porter.

And memories will continue to be made of this.

Not Really Gone

My dad is gone for eight months.

I miss him every day;

But I find solace thinking this--

If he were here, he'd say:

I've left and yet I'm with you still;

Your mirror doesn't lie.

But better, look inside yourself;

Your heart will verify.

I taught you how to cope with life,

The good and bad to face.

I shared the love a father has

That nothing can replace.

Remember, I still live in you;

Don't cry because I know

The best of me goes on each day,

As my grandchildren grow.

~Kathleen Y. Bergeron

The above poem was on my refrigerator when I came home one day in 1988.  My mom came in and put it there.  It has been on my refrigerator ever since.  It is now yellowed with age, but I love it so much.  I love that my mom did that for me.  She knew what a rough time I was having and these words really spoke to me.

The Next Chapter: Thankfulness

As I sat in church on Sunday and listened to Pastor Chuck, I realized that life really is all about being thankful.  The scriptures tell us in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Jesus Christ."
Wow.  Give thanks in all circumstances.

As we are approaching Thanksgiving and nearing the end of yet another year, I realize that thankfulness is really what has fueled me throughout this year.  I have had some trials and tribulations and I am thankful that I have been able to sustain and/or enjoy whatever has come my way this year.
It is easy to become complacent about all the things, people and events in our lives that should make us count our blessings, but it hit me hard today as I watched the news and saw all the devastation caused by the typhoon in The Phillippines.  The numbers they were throwing out were staggering and almost incomprehensible.  Numbers like over 10,000 feared dead, 5,000 homes destroyed, sustained winds of 195 miles per hour, 660,000 people displaced.  And I am sure that the pictures shown on the news and in the paper, although haunting, do not come close to showing the real devastation this has caused.
But I don't want to dwell on this disaster or anything like that.  I want to dwell on gratitude and this time of Thanksgiving.

I have written in my blogs several times about Thanksgivings past.  It is one of my favorite holidays.  It is such a reflective time for me....perhaps more than any other time during the year.

I have a small black and white clipping on my refrigerator that I cut out of our church bulletin several years ago.  It is a drawing of the back of a man, arms outstretched and it says:  "Oh God, I give thanks to you forever."  I cut it out because I love the simplicity of the drawing and the power in those few words.  I look at it often as a reminder.  I think sometimes we could each use a nudge here and there as a reminder.
I saw something that was posted by a friend on Facebook that said something to the affect that we need to be grateful for what we do have rather than regretful for what we don't have.  When I read things like this I think to myself that it really is a simple concept.  It isn't difficult to grasp.
I also read a quote by an unknown author that says "Blessed are those that can give without remembering and receive without forgetting."  That is something I believe and love so much.  Those who give of their time, their services, their prayers and their resources and don't have to let it be known or keep track or weigh the odds are true stewards of men and of God.

Another quote that I love that sort of goes with my ever-constant preaching about finding your own joy is this:  "The best way to pay for a lovely moment is to enjoy it."  ~Richard Bach
How amazing is that?  If we enjoy our moments then it will lead to a lifetime of happiness.

I sometimes think I want to just list things that I am thankful for as easily and simply as they pop in my head.  The list is in no particular order with no preferences and no measure for which blessing is more important or relevant.
I am thankful for my cat, Leo.  He makes me smile and he entertains the entire family.  He loves unconditionally and he came to me at a time in my life when I thought my life was truly going to crumble around me.
I am thankful for my husband.  He has stuck with me through thick and thin, and I can honestly say he is my best pal.  We share everything and although we are quite different with our interests and with our way of thinking sometimes, it doesn't seem to hinder our relationship in the least.
I am thankful to be planning a wedding right now.  Although it is a lot of work and a big expense, planning an event that signifies something so joyful makes the work and expense pale in comparison.  I am thankful that I have these moments to share with my daughter and the the whole process has been enjoyable and bonding for both of us.
I am thankful to be scheduling flights for my son and daughter-in-law to come visit for Christmas.  The visits are much too few and far between.  The older I get, the more I miss seeing Joseph.  Sometimes he seems so far removed, yet as soon as he arrives we love to talk, have fun, and catch up.  It's like the time and distance suddenly fades away.
I am thankful for Jimmy.  He always was the 'loveable' kid in the family.  I know that little thumb-sucking boy is still there inside a man's body.  I love that he has two little kittens named Tiger and Rory that he is responsible for.  It is cute to see a grown man love and nurture two little creatures.
I am thankful for my Mom, as she is the cornerstone of our family.  She may be growing older and more wrinkled, but her wisdom and her experience....her kindness and her generosity.....those are the things that will live on forever.  I am so thankful that God made it possible for her to move to Florida so seemingly effortlessly.  She is a trooper.
I am thankful for my friends as I have always believed that one cannot sustain without friendships.  My friends are there to support me and help me through the rough times, but they are also there to share in the good times.  Sometimes they are just there.  They are there for something as simple as a time to go out to lunch or to share a few laughs.  I definitely was placed in the path of some wonderful women when I moved to Florida.
I am thankful for my church.  The hour I spend there on Sunday morning fuels me for the rest of the week.  It is somehow inexplainable, but the feeling I have is overwhelming.  Of course, the church is more for me than just an hour on Sunday, but that hour is truly the best hour of my week.
I am thankful for my home and my pool and my lovely things.  I am not a materialistic person, but I love my things as they represent my life and make my home my safe haven.  Dorothy was right when she said, "there's no place like home."  My desire is to travel, see the world, learn about new cultures, help people in other places, and all those things, but truly, if I never get to leave here again I won't complain.  Home is where I really love being the most.
I am thankful for all my relatives that have left this earth.  They touched my life and made me who I am today.  It is a weird feeling to have so few relatives left, but I know that one day I will join them along with my Aunt Madeline in that 'glorious reunion' she used to talk about.
I am thankful for the artistic streak that is in me.  I love to be creative and I love to make things.  I know that sometimes it seems silly, but I often fear that I won't live long enough to make and do and create all the things I have swimming around in my brain.  I like that I have this passion, though, as it keeps me focused (or rather scattered most of the time!) and always thinking forward.  I am never bored nor am I ever wondering what I'm going to do with my time.  Rather, I wonder when I can find enough time to do all these things that I love to do.
I am thankful that I enjoy cooking and entertaining and being 'Suzy Homemaker.'  I have always loved all things like this ever since I was a young girl.  I am thankful for Elaine Gregory for starting my true love of cooking and sewing and for her knowledge and patience to teach me.
I am thankful to live in this country.  In this state.  In this town.  In this community.  I truly believe there is no other place I can imagine being that would be more satisfying to me.  I guess that is good.  It is nice to feel contentment over restlessness.
I am thankful for the ocean, the sand, the sea creatures and seashells.  All of those things bring a smile to my face and joy to my life.  My friend Sally Hillyer has a plaque on her wall that I have copied and quoted many times and it says:  There is a sense of forever in the sound of the surf.  
Amen.
I am thankful for my in-laws.  There are countless jokes made about in-laws, but mine are truly great.  Whenever I am with Jim's brothers and sisters, distance knows no boundaries.  I am the lone Southerner of the bunch and I have sustained years and years of teasing, but I have also learned to love hard rolls, pork roll, the Jersey shore, and a room full of people who talk over one another and (seemingly) don't listen to one another.  These are the same people who make a big deal out of holidays and weddings and keeping up with each other, no matter how much time has elapsed between visits.  Coming from a small family, this crazy crew makes me smile and makes me enjoy the true meaning of 'opposites attract.'
I am thankful for my nephew as he is the link I have to my only sibling.  I miss her so much, but I see her in every smile that Porter makes and in his every sarcastic comment and in his brilliant writing.  I know that he is the true apple of her eye, and for that, I thank God every night.  He completed her and knowing that I can rest a little easier.
I am thankful for sunsets on a clear night and a good summer afternoon Tampa Bay lightning storm.  I am thankful for my little lemon tree and my birdfeeders.  Sometimes I really feel like a dork....I get so excited to watch the birds on my feeders.
I am thankful for good restaurants and yummy home-cooked meals.  I am equally thankful for Chick-Fil-A when I need my craving satisfied and I am thankful for a good ole pimento cheese sandwich.  I am thankful for a tomato sandwich and barbecued ribs when I visit Sally and David in Shelby.  Oh and homegrown corn and okra!
I am thankful for Carol and her sweet cat, Cooper.  I am thankful that Carol turned me on to Brooke and Darin Aldridge.  There is nothing like a lovingly married couple singing some amazing bluegrass and gospel.  I will never tire of the CDs that Carol sends me.
I am thankful for my old high school friends and the memories that we share.  I am thankful for Elon College and the experiences I had there......number one being finding the love of my life.  I am also thankful for my BA in English and grateful that my parents gave me the opportunity to further my education.
I am thankful that my parents allowed me to make my own choices.  I know sometimes they were biting their tongues, but it is amazing how once I made a choice I generally had one of those 'ah-ha' moments that hey, my parents were right after all.
I am thankful that I had parents who took me to church and instilled all the right values in me.  I love that I had such a wonderfully happy childhood.
I am thankful for laughter and silliness.  Sometimes I still feel like a little kid when I can get so excited at the silliest things.  I am thankful that my daughter and I share that.  It is joy in its rawest form.
I am thankful for music, dance and theater.  I love the performing arts and I thank my daddy for introducing me to Broadway.
I am thankful for my art teachers along the way and for all the artists past and present who enrich and beautify the world with their talents.
I am thankful for books.  Literature, poetry, essays, documentaries, romance novels and of course the greatest book ever written educate, enlighten, entertain and inform me.  I am thankful for the teachers who taught me to read.  I love that I have always had a book by my bedside since I first learned to read.  I have learned so much from books.  I have also just spent some amazing down time lost in a book.  I pray that literacy improves in our world because reading can change lives.
I am thankful for photography.  I hope one day when I die people can look through my pictures and realize that they don't need to be sad.  My pictures show a life lived fully.  They document so many wonderful times and all one needs to do is look through my photos to see that.
I am thankful for all the beautiful colors in the world.  I know that there are people who are color blind and they miss so much of that.  I truly love color.
I am thankful for the memories I have.  God made an amazing instrument when he made human brains.  A song, a smell, a sight, a flower....all these things can conjure up so many memories.  I will never eat a ham sandwich with a dill pickle without thinking of my friend, Terri.  I will never hear the song "Desert Rose" without seeing my daughter dance.  I will never smell Georgio perfume without thinking of my late friend, Janet.  I will never taste Sungroves orange swirl ice cream without thinking of Porter.  I will never view a driveway basketball court without picturing Jimmy shooting baskets.  I will never hear a Pearl Jam song without thinking of Joseph.  I will never hear the word 'pal' without thinking of my husband.
I am thankful for a good glass of red wine, finding a perfect scallop shell on the beach, or winning a game of Words with Friends against Anita.
I am thankful that my husband and I have been bowling every Wednesday night with our friends and on the same team with Dick and Anita for 10 years.  I am also thankful that they don't care that I haven't improved in all those years!
I am thankful that my daddy loved having me ride in the golf cart with him.  I am thankful that Sally and David open their home to me whenever I come to Shelby and that I am so comfortable there.  I am thankful for my Mom's friends like The Shafers, The Newmans, Gene LeGrand, Nancy Morgan, Edith White and so many more that I could never attempt to mention them all.  I think the thankfulness lies in that she has had so many good friends throughout her life.  I have always heard that to have a good friend, you must be one.  I guess this means Mom has been a good friend.
I am thankful for the doctors who are so educated and dedicated to their profession.  They are our healers and our comforters.  I have some amazing doctors to whom I am always grateful.
I am thankful for technology.  I know it gets a bad rap sometimes as people say it is spinning out of control.  There is some truth to that, but I am thankful for what wonderful things it provides and that I know the right way to get the most out of it.
I am thankful for people who still send 'snail mail.'  I don't think the thrill of receiving a card or letter delivered by the mailman will ever cease for me.
I am thankful for my pajamas, flip flops and comfortable shoes.  I have had foot surgeries and struggle with shoes, so finding something that fits and feels good is a real joy for me.
I am thankful for music.  I think if I had to live without music I would really be sad.  I love all kinds of music and I am thankful that God has gifted so many with the ability to sing, compose, and play instruments.  It would be a sad world without music.
I am thankful for games.  I love to play games.  Solitary games are great for my mind and other games are great for my social life.  I just love games.  Cards.  Crosswords.  Trivia.  Board games.  Acting games.  You name it.
I am thankful for theater.  I am so blessed to have been a part of the performing world.  I probably wasn't that great of an actress, director, teacher, singer, dancer, set painter, prop mistress or costumer, but I truly loved every moment spent doing anything theater related.

As I am writing this, I realize how truly significant my first statement is.  Life really IS all about being thankful.  I could probably sit here for hours on end just typing in all the things I am thankful for.

Amen and amen.



I love this poem simply entitled "Be Thankful."

Be thankful that you don't already have eveything you desire,

If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful that you don't know something

For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.

During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations

Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

 Be thankful for each new challenge

Because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes

They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you're tired and weary 

Because it means you've made a difference.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things.

A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are

also thankful for the setbacks.

GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.

Find a way to be thankful for your troubles

and they can become your blessings.

~author unknown

Finding ways to be thankful and to see blessings through your troubles isn't always easy.  

But memories can be made of this.
And on to the next chapter......

On my counter right now for Thanksgiving

On my refrigerator as an ever-present reminder
(from Madeline)

Coffee Break

I love to get up in the morning.  One of the highlights of a new day for me is my coffee.  And there is nothing more fun that starting the day off with a special coffee mug.
I don't have one favorite mug.  I have a cabinet full of favorite mugs.  That is because each of my coffee mugs tells a story.  It is like sharing a moment with whomever gave the mug to me as I sip my coffee from it as the sun is just coming up.
I have never liked darkness or nighttime.  I could truly live in the land of the Midnight Sun.  I love sunshine and light and brightness.  Darkness does absolutely nothing for me.
My coffee sort of equates the start of a new day and the start of all things possible.  I love early morning more than any other time of day.

As I was visiting with Mom today, I was telling her how it doesn't matter how early I get up, I can't seem to get out of my tracks to go on to whatever is on my calendar for that day.  It isn't that I am a time waster....quite the opposite.  If I think I wasted a moment of time in a day, I feel very down.  Life is short.  My to-do list is long.  Therefore, wasting time isn't an option!
So, I came to realize that my love of that 2nd or 3rd (or 4th) cup of coffee in the morning isn't wasted time.  I have a plaque hanging in my computer/craft room that reads:  'Time you enjoyed wasting isn't time wasted.  ~T.S. Eliot'.
My coffee time is definitely time enjoyed (and most needed) therefore it isn't time wasted.
That being said......

My coffee time is precious to me.  The mugs I drink my coffee out of are totally mismatched and totally enjoyable.  I tend to reach for the mugs that I know are "mine."
I have a mug that looks like stoneware and it has a blue flower on it.  I bought these mugs in 1975 when I was in Richmond, VA visiting with my college friend, Ann.  We went to a big pottery warehouse and I knew that I was about to be married, so I bought a set of these mugs.  The rest of the set has broken or been lost throughout the years, but this one mug has hung on.  Whenever I pick up this mug to pour my coffee into, I think of the time that I bought it and I also relive my moments as a newlywed so happy and proud to have my own home to brew my own coffee in.  I had a stove top percolator and it truly made some delicious coffee.  I remember when my sister-in-law, Donna, visited Jim and I and thought we should have a drip type coffee maker and she went out and bought one for us.  It was orange and fancy and I remember thinking how cool it was, but in hindsight, nothing will take the place of a cup of coffee made stove top in a percolator and served in a stoneware mug.  Ah.  The good old days!

I have a mug that is precious to me because my friend, Marilyn, gave it to me.  I moved away from Raleigh in 1984 and that year for my birthday, she gave me this mug.  Marilyn and I were the best of friends and we shared the joy of motherhood with one another.  She had two girls and I had two boys.  Our kids were the same age and we enjoyed being together while they played.  We also drug them along with us for shopping sprees and lunches out.  Our husbands joined us when we decided to get together for dinner parties.  Our kids were very comfortable having sleepovers on certain nights when we adults felt like we needed some 'grown up time.'  Marilyn and I secretly hoped our kids might one day grow up, date, and maybe eventually marry.  Of course, time and distance happened and our kids are adults now with lives of their own.  I will, however, never forget my friend and the importance she had in my life at a very key time in my life.
The mug she gave me had a poem by Susan Polis Schultz on it and it reads:

'You are always my friend

when I am happy or sad

when I am alone or with people

if I talk to you today

or in a year

You are always my friend

and through the years

we will change, but it 

doesn't matter what we do

Throughout our lifetime

you are always my friend.'

I don't have much contact with Marilyn any more, but at a time in my life when I needed and wanted a certain type of friend, she was it.
I am sure if I met up with Marilyn tomorrow we could pick up right where we left off.
Everyone needs a Marilyn in their life.

I have another friend in my life that has blessed me in many ways.  Her name is Kathy and we still keep in touch although the miles separate us.  I learned to play bridge with Kathy and although bridge has become a mainstay in my life, Kathy doesn't play much any more.  She is a full time teacher, mother, wife and new grandmother.  She stays busy and doesn't love bridge enough to make time for it in her life right now.  She gave me a mug out of her cabinet one time when I was in NC visiting with her.  It says:  'A bad day at the Bridge Table is still better than Cleaning House!'
I love the mug and she knew I would.  She took it out of her cabinet and gave it to me as she knew it was apropos in my life at the moment, but not in hers.  I do think of Kathy whenever I use it.

I have an old mug that is white and has the comedy/drama masks on it.  It is a mug I bought for myself because I am a theater lover.  I have loved going to the theater since I was 13, but I also have loved performing since high school when my best friend, Terri, talked me into auditioning for "No No Nanette" at Shelby High School.  Once bitten, the theater bug stays in your blood.
I used to display this mug on a shelf of special mugs that I had in my house in Shelby, but now it is a usable mug in my cabinet.  It is so faded, the image is almost indiscernible.  Drinking out of this mug sometimes puts me on the 4th row in The Shubert Theater in NYC or on stage with PAGES Theater Group here in Florida.

Speaking of theater, one of the people I met here in Florida while doing theater was Pat.  Pat is one of those ladies who enters your life and makes her mark.  Again, she is someone I seldom see or hear from, but I know she is just a stone's throw away.  Pat is cheerful, smart and passionate.  I have some very fond memories of Pat.  She enjoyed gospel music, as do I.  We went to see the Gaither Family in a gospel concert, and we also went to see Earth, Wind and Fire together.  We saw many shows and we enjoyed celebrating Halloween at Pat's annual Halloween party.  We had cast parties at my house and we ate at Alley Cats after many a rehearsal for a show she was directing and I was in.
Pat had a shirt that said:  'All I really want to do is direct'.
And Pat was an amazing director.  I can think of times when I was probably a whiny brat, but Pat was always cheerful, yet firm, and her creativity knows no boundaries.  Pat could direct a cat to share its food with a dog.  She just has that knack.
Speaking of, Pat knew I loved cats and she gave me a mug that says:  Where my money goes~cat litter, cat food, cat toys, other.
Pat, as a dear friend, knew that my love of theater didn't surpass my love of cats.  Yes, I am truly the Crazy Cat Lady.

Knowing this, my sister-in-law, Linda, just recently visited and brought me a jumbo mug (knowing my love of coffee) and it says 'Crazy Cat Lady' on it!  I cracked up, as I have often been called this, but I didn't actually have anything that said this.  Linda knows me well.  In more ways than can be explained in this blog. Linda and I have always been the Fitzpatricks by marriage gals.  Yes, we have much to share and much to talk about.  But that could probably be a blog all its own!

And speaking of cats, my friend, Pat (another Pat), gave me a mug last Christmas with a sleeping orange tabby cat (my fave!) and a little mouse on it.  It says:  'Cat is napping, mice will play'.  I love this mug because is it tall and slender and shaped a bit different from some of my other mugs.  I can't decide if I love the friend who gave it to me or the rendition of my beloved cats on it better!
Needless to say, Pat knows me well.

I have a Precious Moments mug that says 'Mary, Blessed one, Pure in Heart'.  I love it.  It is all pink and white.  I actually think I bought this one for myself.  What can I say????
It is so ME.

I also have a mug that says 'Golf Widow'.  It has a long stemmed red rose on it.  This mug makes me chuckle!  Back in the days of my Shelby living, my husband was an avid golfer (as he was before then and since then!).  He had an amazing group of guys that he played with.  Some of these guys had wives who were good friends of mine.  Of them, Sally, Margaret and Allyson were 3 that I did a lot of socializing with.  We called ourselves Golf Widows.  Although it sounded like a sad state, the reality was that we used our golf widow time to have friend time!  We never missed the guys so much that we couldn't find time to enjoy ourselves.
Anyway, the mug inspired us to make tee shirts for ourselves.  We had a craft day one day where we painted tee shirts with a long stem rose and the words 'Golf Widow' on them.  They were so cute!
Little did anyone know that being that kind of  'widow' really wasn't all that bad!  


Another of my favorite mugs says:  'In the cookies of life, FRIENDS are the chocolate chips'.
What a thought.
My friend, Susan, gave me this mug for my birthday one year.
Susan is an amazing teacher, and I humbly volunteered in her classroom for a couple of years.  I really didn't do much, but I was always touched by the way Susan handled herself with her students.  She has a gift, and I have learned through years of experience that we all have our 'gifts' or our love languages.  Susan's gift is her amazing way with young people.  She knows how to inspire them, instill manners and give them a zest for life.  I hope to volunteer in her classroom again one day when the timing is right for me.  I don't know what I really add to the mix, but I do know it gives me an insight into a friend I already love and admire.
It is a good idea to get to know your friends in ways that are not the norm....to see them at work, with their families, or in an environment that is not your usual comfort zone.
Hats off to Susan, and any other amazing teacher.
And I am glad to be one of the chocolate chips in your life!    

To add some humor, I have a mug that says "Save Oxygen.  Shut Up."  Guess where this mug came from?  MY OWN MOTHER!  One year on my birthday she gave this mug to me.  I didn't know whether to laugh or cry!  First of all, I have never said Shut Up.  I didn't use it with my kids or my students.....because my mother taught me that this wasn't a nice thing to say!

It became a real joke that she gave this mug to me.  Several years later when I asked her about it, she told me she thought it was funny and she knew I collected mugs, so she bought it!  I don't think there was any intentional message in the sentiment.  At least, I hope not!

And finally, a mug that I cherish is a 40th birthday mug....now faded.  My kids gave it to me and at the time they thought it was so funny.....as did I!  I guess I am glad to be alive and kicking 17 years later.
This mug is a reminder to me of many things.  It is that we can mark certain milestone birthdays in our lives, but those birthdays are only stepping stones to future birthdays.
Our kids can think something is so funny at the time, and in hindsight, I am thinking that my oldest child is less than a decade away from receiving a 40th birthday mug himself.  
     
Life is funny.  It is interesting.  It is a wild ride!
We have friends come and go.  We have interests and hobbies take place at certain times of our lives.  We live in one home and move to another.  We have passions.  We have interests.  We are who we are at that moment in time.
All all these things add, multiply and divide themselves to make us who we really are and who we will be remembered as.

And memories are made of this.

Jumbled Thoughts

Recently I was thinking of so many things from Mom's house that are boxed up ready to be moved, already in my house or in her apartment, or just things from Shelby in general.  I was thinking of a mishmash of things that are artistic, creative, handmade, clever and fun.  The things that popped in my head came in a whirlwind and are not necessarily in any order or have much connection with one another.  They are truly just jumbled thoughts I have that created many memories I don't want to ever forget.

When I thought of the word jumbled, I thought about the word search puzzles and jumbles that Mom likes to do.  I have always been a puzzle person....I love crosswords, jumbles, cryptograms, jigsaw puzzles and electronic puzzle games.  I always tell myself after sitting for longer than I intended working on these puzzles that I am priming my mind in order to ward off forgetfulness and absentmindedness as I age.  I always thought that working on puzzles helped with your memory.  I used that excuse to get Mom hooked on Word search Puzzles.  She always said she couldn't do crosswords, so I started creating word search puzzles on my computer and mailing them to her to work on.  I would theme the puzzles and make them about things that were relative to Mom and her life, the season, or things she liked.  She really loved them and after mailing them to her several times, I gave in and bought a huge book of word search puzzles....there are 365, I think.  The book is big and the puzzles are easy to see.  They too are themed, but they seem much harder than the ones I used to make for her.  She is slowly but surely working through this book.  She moved it to Florida with her and it sits on the little table by her recliner.  I think when she has nothing to do, she picks the book up and works a couple of puzzles.  I think it is good for her mind and it keeps her from getting bored.  Mom also works the jumbles in the newspaper sometimes.  She always wanted to guess the answer to the puzzle rather than actually work on unscrambling the words!  Whatever works.  Puzzles are fun.

Another fun and puzzling thing we have is a Shoot the Moon game.  Martha and I bought it for Daddy many moons ago (no pun intended) for Father's Day.  We got it for his desk along with another wooden puzzle game.  I don't know what happened to the other game.  I think it broke.  It was one of those pendulum ball games where the balls swung back and forth and created a certain motion.  Daddy was stubborn and always wanted to figure out how to beat the games.  He was persistent and tried over and over to figure out the best way to indeed Shoot the Moon.  There was always ways to get farther along than your opponent.  If you pressed down real hard with the back of your hand, the game would tilt just enough to make the ball go just a little further!   Daddy couldn't stand it if he thought someone was doing this.  He called it cheating, and I guess he was right!  We still had a lot of fun with aggravating him with our 'cheating!'  When my kids came along, they also loved playing this game and it was always a hit when we would go to Shelby to visit.  I have it on my hearth right now.  When Mom moved down here, I made sure this classic game made it to my house.

 Up until this last time when I went to Mom's house to get everything cleaned up and ready for the movers, I stood in her foyer and had thoughts of what all used to be there.  There were two things in her foyer that I was remembering and they made me miss Martha very much.  They were very artistic and that reminded me of Martha.  Not only did Martha love art and art objects, these things in particular were just very Martha.  One is a statue entitled "Sisters."  Mom bought two of these from an artist she knew at an art show.  They are the same piece of artwork but made out of different materials.  The one she gave me is some sort of stone and slate.  I have it in my living room and I love it.  It is a statue of two young girls sitting back to back on a rock.  Mom bought them, of course, because they reminded her of Martha and me.  Mom's was a darker bronze-like material and it sat in her foyer.  She moved it down here and now has it in her dining room.  I know whenever she looks at it, it is a reminder of her two girls.  The other thing from Mom's foyer that reminds me of Martha was a big wooden statue of St. Francis of Assisi.  Martha and Bob gave it to Mom for Christmas the first year they were married.....the first Christmas we had without Daddy.  Mom had always admired it at their house, and Martha and Bob knew how much Mom loved it so they surprised her with it.  She was indeed thrilled and it sat proudly in her foyer and always reminded me of Martha when I saw it.  When Mom moved to Florida, she gave it back to Bob.  Although it had been a gift to her, she thought Bob might like to have it back.  It is a beautiful piece of artwork.

 Another thing that Mom always had at her house was my old Barbie dolls and all their accessories and clothes.  When Mom moved to Florida and I was in Shelby packing things for the movers, Madeline called me one day and said, "don't forget my Barbies!"  She always loved playing with them when we would go to visit.  I made sure they moved down to Florida and they are in my garage packed in a box somewhere.  When Madeline moves into her own place, she will need a room just for all her old dolls and stuffed animals along with some of my old stuff!  

My old Barbies were so well dressed.  Not only did they have genuine store bought Barbie clothes, they had handmade clothes as well.  Mom's friend, Betsy Humphries, made them for me and Martha.  She was a pretty good seamstress and she would make ball gowns, dresses, pants, bathrobes and all sorts of clothes for our Barbies to wear.  Martha and I were thrilled to have all these 'extra' clothes for our dolls.  Betsy was one of those dear people who loved life and was always happy to make and do things for those she cared about.  She was an amazing artist, and I am pleased to know that I have two of her pen and ink drawings hanging in my dining room.  They are drawings of two of the houses that Jim and I owned in North Carolina.  They serve as great memories.  But, back to the Barbie clothes....I am amazed at how small the clothes are and it makes me realize how difficult it must have been to sew them.  Betsy and Mom were good friends for about 72 years!  They became friends when they were 16.  Imagine.  I am saddened that Betsy passed away last week, but I am truly grateful that I had her in my life. I am so happy that I have the beautiful, artistic drawings in my home and that Madeline will hold a small part of Betsy in the clever handmade Barbie doll clothes.

Speaking of clothes, I remember that Daddy went away on a business trip one time when I was little (maybe around 4 or 5).  He liked to bring us back a surprise, and this particular time he brought back a unique gift for Martha, Mom and me.  They were red negligees with matching robes.  Each was a bit different.  I remember mine had tiny white pearls around the neckline.  They were beautiful.  I don't know what made Daddy decide to buy that particular thing for us, but we loved them!  I think he was missing us and saw them and thought we would all look great in them!  I suppose we did look good in them because we had a very clever idea.  We wore our matching red negligees and went to a photographer and had our portrait done in them.  It was a beautiful portrait and we gave it to Daddy for Christmas or some occasion.  It hung proudly over his bed when we lived on Ridgeview Drive.  I can still see it....frame and all.  That is the last I remember of that portrait.  I have bugged Mom on and off for 31 years about this portrait.  It is no where to be found!  I am saddened by this, but the optimist in me keeps hoping that it will turn up somewhere someday.  Maybe it is behind another picture in a frame.  But as I write this, the moving van is en route to Florida, so Mom's house in Shelby is officially empty.  And I personally went through every inch and every item in her house, so I know I didn't see it.  That is, of course, unless it is 'hidden' somewhere which is my wish and my prayer.
I don't have the portrait of the 3 of us in the negligees, but I do, however, have the actual negligees!  Mom cleverly preserved them by sealing them inside a gallon jar!  I don't know if all 3 are in there or not.  I am assuming it is just mine and Martha's.  I did move the jar to Florida, but I have yet to unseal it.  When I unpacked it my family wondered what in the world was the red 'stuff' inside a gallon pickle jar!  If only they comprehended the memory that will be unleashed when I finally decide to open it.

Another unlikely clothing item that works its way into my jumbled thoughts is another nightgown.  This one is truly remarkable to me.  And what I love about it is that I really didn't know about it until I was packing up Mom's house to move.  It actually moved me to tears.  It is a beautiful satin handmade nightgown that Mom wore on her wedding night with my Dad!  It is remarkable workmanship.....a true work of art.  It is floor length and zips up the back.  It is adorned with tiny pearls and lace and is very simple and elegant.  I can picture my mom as a young bride in love wearing this gown.  When we were packing Mom told me about it and then told me to just throw it out.  It had a huge brown stain on it from years of hanging in the closet.  I told her she was nuts!  No way was I going to throw that thing out!  So, I moved it back to Florida and took it to my dry cleaner.  He told me there was a risk in cleaning it because of the age of the fabric, but I had to take that chance.  I must say, it turned out beautifully!  I gave it to Madeline and it hangs in her closet.  She doesn't think she will be able to wear it because my Mom must have been awfully tiny!  It looks like it would fit a little girl!  Anyway, it will be preserved somehow, as I want to save it and continue to pass it down the line.  I absolutely love it and I don't think we have any other clothing items that are that old in our family.  Talk about memories!

Another handmade item that I brought back from Mom's is a crocheted tablecloth.  She had offered it to me before, but I just got around to taking it when we moved her.  I think I became even more sentimental then (if that is possible) than I have been all my life!  I brought it right home and put it on my dining room table.  It is perfect and I haven't used another tablecloth since except at Christmas time.  I think Mom has decided this tablecloth is at least 75 years old.  Jessie's husband, Tony Hammock, gave it to Mom.  Mom said that when he bought it and gave it to her, it wasn't quite big enough to fit on Mom's dining room table so he took it back to the lady who crocheted it and had her add more to it.  If you look closely you can tell where it was added on, but frankly I would have never known if Mom hadn't told me.  As a craftsman myself,  I appreciate and respect this beautiful piece of handiwork more than I can express.  I trust that as many memories as those Mom had will be created around this tablecloth as we sit around my dining room table for many special occasions to come!  

 (Two great memories already.......Easter and Thanksgiving!)

My jumbled thoughts are ending on more whimsical notes.  

I offered my friend, Sally, something from Mom's house.  I wanted her to have a 'piece' of Mom and the house as a reminder.  She came over this last time when Jim and I were there cleaning and doing the final packing of the house.  I told her to pick something and she told me she wasn't good at that.  So I offered to pick something for her that I thought she would like and I would just give it to her later on.  She liked that idea much better!  We continued to talk, visit and explore the house.  I did offer her boxes and boxes and boxes of taper candles.  I don't know what Mom was doing with such a huge supply of unused candles, but she was certainly prepared!  Sally was happy to have these as she does entertain a lot and will use the candles.  But of course, this wasn't the memento that I wanted Sally to have.  After some time passes, she decided to leave and Jim and I walked out the back door with her.  She looked down and saw this dusty, cobweb-ridden black dog statue and she said "that's what I want!"  I was surprised because it really wasn't something "fine" that I really wanted her to have.  But Sally is a lot like me....she likes what she likes and she knows what she likes and this dog was really very 'Sally.'  I gladly gave it to her.
There is a story about this dog statue.  Homer loved dogs.  He wanted one so badly.  Anyone who knows my Mom knows that having a dog was out of the question.  So, Homer finally quit asking.  I guess my Mom felt badly because she knew how much Homer loved dogs so she bought this statue and put it by the back door.  She told Homer that at least he would have a dog to greet him each time he came in the door!  That compromise worked just fine.  There were plenty of neighborhood dogs who came to visit Homer as he worked in the yard every day.  He truly had the best of both worlds.
To take this cleverness a step farther, I received an email from Sally one day.  It was a picture of the dog statue all cleaned up and sitting on her porch.  The dog is holding a basket in his mouth and Sally had put some fresh red flowers in the basket!  It is precious and the dog appears to be very happy in his new home.  Sally's email read:  'I love my Porter Pup!'  That just made my day.

Along the lines of clever and creative names like Porter Pup are some names our family has used for various things.  My Uncle Paul had a house a Lake Norman.  This house was named The Porter Hole and was printed on a porthole somehow.  It has been years since I have been there, so I am just stating this strictly from old memories.  I remember thinking it was a cute name.  Likewise, his boat was named The Riverbender.  This is clever because my Uncle's golf course was named Riverbend Acres.  I have always loved to use names like this so creatively.  
This lake house has such special memory for me for several reasons.  I know that I enjoyed my years going there with my cousins for picnics and special occasions.  I learned how to water ski on Lake Norman.  Uncle Paul was pretty insistent that we all learn how to ski.  He handled me the best way he knew how.....just threw me in the lake, gave me some skis and sent Bill in to help me.  I got up and learned to ski and loved it for several years....until I got older and became a big chicken!  But those years of hanging out at Lake Norman were very special for me.  They are the childhood memories that can never be taken from you.  
One summer when I was in Jr. High School, Aunt Margaret wanted to go to the lake and spend a little time.  I don't know why, but I went with her.  We had several days there alone together and it was a wonderful bonding time.  I think that after a few days, some other people came too, but I felt very special going with her and helping her get ready for the rest of the gang!  
And my truly special memory was spending my Honeymoon at Lake Norman.  Jim and I were young and he had just graduated college.  After our honeymoon he was heading back to immediately start his career and I had one more year of college to complete.  Jim and I had decided to go to Florida to Disney World for our honeymoon and had just planned to get in the car and drive and not make prior arrangements.  As I said, we were young and willing to throw caution to the wind.  At our rehearsal dinner, Uncle Paul came up and put his arms around the two of us, slipped the key to the house at Lake Norman in Jim's pocket and told us to save our money and go use the lake house for a honeymoon.  We were thrilled and delighted and we took him up on his offer.  He told us whatever was there was for our use.  So, we left our wedding reception and headed to Lake Norman.  We arrived and realized how quiet and peaceful it was and what a great retreat to enjoy after the busy-ness of a week of college graduation and a wedding!  There were steaks, hamburgers, champagne and all sorts of 'goodies' for us.  We were in our glory!  We got up each morning and went to this little country diner for breakfast, came back and fished off the dock, then we laid in the sun, swam, floated and enjoyed the sunshine.  We fired up the grill and cooked steaks as we watched the sunset and we listened to the sounds of nature.  It was a wonderful honeymoon and I am so thankful to my Uncle Paul for giving this to us.

And finally I have some jumbled thoughts of our sun room on Ridgeview Drive.  When we first bought the house, we had a covered back porch.  Mom and Dad decided to enclose this porch into a sun room and then build a brick patio off of the sun room.  It was a beautiful addition and it gave us a place to sit and enjoy our large wooded backyard with a creek running through it.  The sun room was lovely and my mom had me paint a cement turtle and frog to use out there for decoration.  They have endured the test of time and Porter has them now.  I am not sure why he wanted them, but he has them and I am glad they are in good hands.  I was in high school when I painted these and they are pretty cute critters, if I must say so myself.
When Mom and Daddy were designing the sun room, they decided at the last minute that they may need to add a little half bathroom so it wouldn't be so far for guests to go to get to a bathroom.  The builder was able to add that, but mentioned that it would have to be VERY small.  And small it was!  It was just attached to one end of the sun room and they had to buy an extra small sink to make it fit.  You could actually sit on the toilet and wash your hands!  I remember taking a large can and cutting scalloped edges on it and painting it yellow to use as a trash can.  That is all that would fit!  I don't know whose clever idea that was, but it was adorable.  The little bathroom really was kind of cute, but definitely not a place where you would want to spend a lot of time.  This room was aptly named The Porter John!  The name was engraved on a brass plaque and hanging outside the 'room.'
This sunroom is special in my memory because one of the last times I actually used it was for my wedding reception.  We got married at Central United Methodist Church on a sunny Saturday and then came back to my parents' house for the reception.  We were all thankful that the weather cooperated because people filtered out of the sunroom onto the brick patio.  We had the food on the dining room table and the wedding cake was out on the sunroom table.  That is where we cut the cake and I got to enjoy having cake pushed in my mouth by my new husband!  Ahh...the memories!

So many bits and pieces of our lives can come rushing back to us in the form of jumbled thoughts.  And although these jumbled thoughts may seem to have no connection, they actually do.  They all are bits and pieces of what makes us who we are.  Some of these things are artistic, creative, clever, handmade and fun and are certainly things that are engraved in our heads and our hearts.  And of course, memories are made of this!

Shelby

It has been a busy time for me. I don't know exactly how to put it in words, but I have felt a bit like a dog chasing his tail lately.  I also feel like I am accomplishing things, it just seems as if the list keeps growing much more rapidly than it is getting completed.
Jim and I flew up to North Carolina a few weeks ago to clean, organize and pack up the rest of the things in Mom's house.  Mom has discovered that she has room for a few more pieces of furniture at Stratford Court and there are some things she still wants/needs from her house in Shelby.  We earmarked those to be moved down here to her.  We donated a lot of stuff to the new Hospice Store and we threw out things that were of no use to anyone.  We decided what needed to be saved for posterity, for necessity, or just for fun.  We had repair people over there giving estimates, doing work or giving advice.  We cleaned, knocked down cobwebs and found interesting things hidden in the attic!  It was an awesome task that had to be accomplished in a short period of time. But I am happy to say....we did it!  

It was weird to stay in a hotel in Shelby.  I am sure it was a first for me.  Jim remembered staying with his family at The Governor's Inn the few nights before our wedding.  As Jim and I were planning this trip up there, Madeline said:  "I didn't even know there were hotels in Shelby!"  Silly girl.  She has just been used to feeling so welcome in Grandma's home. We had never seen the need to seek out a hotel.  Jim and I didn't get our money's worth staying in the hotel.....I don't even think we even turned on the TV!   We came in late at night....tired and dirty.....showered and hit the sack!  We were exhausted.  

After being unoccupied for well over a year, Mom's house showed that it lacked the TLC it deserved.  A house just needs to have people in it living their lives and putting their energy into making it a home.  I hope one day this beautiful house can become a home for some lucky family.  It is a great place and there are many memories and stories that took place in that home.  It will never be forgotten.
When Jim and I left, we left knowing that not one thing in that house went untouched.  The best we figured we filled about 65 large trash bags with things that needed to be thrown out.  Then there were those things too good to throw out but not needed by anyone else in the family.  The people from the Hospice Store were absolutely amazing and delightful to work with.  I can't say enough good about them.  They came armed with boxes, trucks, strong backs, strong wills, and a heart for service.  When they left, we began sorting, boxing and tagging everything that was left.  We told the movers that when they came to load, everything that was left was to be moved.  We knew we had to do a good job of sorting and depleting some of the "stuff" because whatever is in that house now will soon be arriving in Clearwater, FL!  Add that to the garage full of stuff from Mom's original move and Madeline's entire Philadelphia apartment........all I can say to that is oh law!  

I told Mom that when Madeline gets married and we start going through all this stuff, it will be like a treasure hunt!  I moved a lot of my things into the garage when I replaced them with things from Mom's house when she originally moved down here in March of 2012.  It has been an adventure!  
I know that some way some how I need to learn to let go.  I am so sentimental that when I see these things some memory or story comes to mind.  I know that Sally encouraged me to write this blog so that I could have it all on paper and then I could physically part with the "things."  So far, I haven't done a great job with the parting!  I am still hoping to keep a lot of these things in the family dispersed amongst us.  I know, however, that some things don't necessarily need to be kept.

When the moving truck arrives, I will be receiving boxes and boxes of scrapbooks. I guess Mom's house was the place where everyone's belongings ended up when they passed away.  I literally have all the scrapbooks and old keepsakes and pictures from Jessie, Mildred and Yates, Earl and Donald.....not to mention Mom's!  I don't know what I am going to do with them, but I certainly couldn't throw them away!  I may need to start an Humphries/Porter museum or something!
All of this packing up and moving (twice) really makes you think about things.  Each item you pick up has been a part of someone's life.  It is amazing how it makes different types of feelings arise.
I realized that the last few years have been some of the most life-changing years I have ever experienced.  My baby graduated college and then eventually moved back to Florida after her engagement.  She will be a married woman soon and we have been busy planning her wedding.  I love talking to her about her bright future with her new husband.  Having her back in our house after 5 years in Philadelphia is a joy,  but a great change for us.  She is in a transitional state and so much of her life is packed up in  boxes and crates in our garage just waiting to be released and filtered in to her new life.   
My sister's death was truly one of the most life-changing things that ever happened to me. The kind of grief and sadness I have experienced is immeasurable. As the result of her death, my Mom now lives in Florida.  I am thrilled with having her so close and now that I am used to having her here, I can't imagine my life without her right around the corner.  It is weird when I think that now it's really just Mom and me.  I never dreamed that Martha would not be around to experience this phase of life with me.  
My oldest son found the love of his life and they are now married.  I feel blessed to have such a sweet daughter-in-law but frustrated at not being able to get to know her better because they are so far away.  
My joys and sorrows seem to seesaw every day.  Our family has seen a lot of ups and downs these last few years, but we carry on.  I know that in there somewhere is a wonderful plan that God has in store for us.  So we hang on and enjoy the ride....bumps and all!

Moving Mom made me realize that I have sort of closed the chapter of my life that is Shelby. Although I was born and raised there and it will always be my home, I won't have the same reasons to go back to Shelby.  Even though I have lived in Florida since 1994, I have been back to Shelby many, many times.  Some years I made as many as 8 or 9 trips back up there.  I have a nephew that is like one of my own kids who still lives there, but he is a senior in high school and will soon be in New York or Boston or some other wonderful city doing amazing things as he prepares for the next phase of his life!  I have cousins in Shelby, but they are all busy with their lives enjoying grandchildren and the likes.  I have some wonderful friends in Shelby that I love to spend time with, but like my cousins, their lives are so involved that it isn't always easy to find a fitting time to visit.  I will go back to visit my friends and relatives from time to time, but with that 'home base' gone, it will not be as frequent as it has been in the past.  It is a bittersweet realization.  Wasn't it Thomas Wolfe who said "you can't go home again?"

My memories of Shelby are too countless to mention, but I can scratch the surface.  My memories of living on Woodside Drive and Ridgeview Drive include playing kickball and hide and seek with the neighbors; catching lightening bugs and putting them in a mason jar with holes poked in the lid with a can opener; snow days; lying on top of the car parked on the curb at dusk to see if a bat would swoop down; walking to Graham School with my sister; putting on a play with Martha and Madeline Hughes (perhaps the spark that ignited my love of theater!); trick or treating and having a hole in my bag only to find out that Martha was trailing behind me picking up all the candy that fell out; playing with my cat Dinkle; and 'walking around' with my friends.  
My memories of Central United Methodist Church consist of so many things, but as a kid the highlights were the ice cream supper we had once a year where the menu consisted of home churned ice cream and homemade cakes and pies.  I remember singing in the choir, going to Sunday School, and sitting in the same pew each Sunday with Martha, Mom and Dad.  I remember MYF and the fun we had with Steve and Rosa Linda Talbert.  I remember receiving my Bible in front of the whole congregation in 3rd grade.  I loved the Fall Festival where we played games and won prizes and ate hot dogs and cookies.  I know then (and now) my favorite time in church is the Christmas Eve candlelight service. 
 I have fond memories of my schools:  Graham School, Marion School, Oak School (yes, I was one of the lucky 6th graders who attended there), Shelby Jr. High School, and good ole Shelby High School.  There was nothing more fun that a Friday night in Shelby, North Carolina during footbabll season!  I can recollect the sights and smells of those nights vividly.  I also have memories of my adult years in Shelby when I taught at Crest Junior High School and Kings Mountain Middle School and High School.  The weirdest moment was when I went to watch my Kings Mountain students play a soccer game against the Shelby Middle School students (my son was the goalie).  Who was I supposed to root for?  Of course, I quietly rooted for SMS.....(and they won!).
Barbecue and hushpuppies from Bridges, orangeades and RC Cola, livermush, Sundrop and Cheerwine, fried okra from Shelby Cafe, a burger with mustard and slaw  with a basket of French Fries from Web's or a Tast-T-Tee burger can make me salivate with just the mere thought.
Hanging out at Pizza Inn, Deb parties, riding around on Saturday night, going to movies at the State Theater and the Rogers Theater, Teen Club, the Cleveland County Fair, sleepovers at friends' homes, attending football games and basketball games, slow dancing in someone's basement, making pizza and cookies with my cousin, riding around with Terri in her yellow VW, hanging out at North Lake pool, and SHS pep rallies are more than enough to create fun and memories for this high school girl!
Tickle Bee Hill, art classes with Bob Shepherd, the train and merry-go-round at Shelby City Park, a stop at Dairy Queen on the way home from school, penny candy, shopping uptown, working at A.V. Wrays as a gift-wrapper, Porter Brothers, Fiber Industries, dogwoods, azaelas, white Christmas lights on the Courtsquare are just a few of the wonderful reasons to call Shelby home.

I will always remember the warmth of the people in Shelby.  It was so evident after Martha died.  The outpouring of love and concern was overwhelming.  And that was not the only time I have experienced this.  Shelby people are just good folks.  All the people from Shelby, native or transplants, that I have spent time with through the years are the basis for so many memories.  

I read this and the source is unknown, but I love it and think it is so very impactful and true:  "Sometimes people come into your life for a moment, a day, or a lifetime.  It matters not the time they spent with you but how they impacted your life in that time."

These people.  This place.  Memories are made of this.

Some of the trash bags and boxes we filled

We managed to squeeze in a dinner at Ni Fen

Some of the stuff donated to the Hospice Store

and more

and more

Jim discovered this lovely lady in Mom's attic

ummmm........

Shelby friend through the ages

Love my cousins!

So happy to have a new daughter-in-law

Three Musketeers at Owl's Eye

My Ma and Pa

Cousin fun!

Middle School fun!

Then......

.....and now

Next generation of cousins

Three happy gals....we got our vinegar fries!

Mom's house in the snow

Cleveland County Courthouse