Memories Are Made of This: March 2015

For several months I have been thinking about a road trip that Jim, Madeline and I made to Southport, North Carolina to attend the wedding of Lindsey Fitzpatrick. Lindsey is the daughter of Jim's brother, Tommy and his wife, Linda. We are close to them and Lindsey and Madeline are the closet in age of any of Madeline's other cousins. Madeline and Lindsey are good friends, and despite the fact that Eric couldn't go, Madeline didn't hesitate. It was a fun Throw Back road trip.....We hadn't made one like this in years. We did not have a lot of time, so it was a quick trip. Our hours in the car practically equaled the hours we were actually in Southport. We took advantage of the time and did a lot of talking and a lot of listening....to one another and to the radio.

Jim has never been much of a radio listener. That is, until he got Sirius radio and began listening to 60's on 6 with Phlash Phelps. It has become a joke around here because Jim comes home every day (or calls me or texts me) with some words of wisdom, bit of trivia, or better yet......himself on the radio as a caller.....a Phlash Phan! Anyway, Jim was delighted on this nearly 12 hour drive to have his two favorite girls captive to listen to his favorite DJ on his favorite radio station. I tease him that I have never known anyone who turns DOWN the music and turns UP the DJ talk! Madeline and I did become interested as we already knew about the 'regular' callers.....Billy Quinn, some funny old lady, a southern guy that truly does sound just like our friend from NC, Frankie Howell. We loved hearing Jim's commentary before and after the callers and after Phlash shared a bit of trivia about a place he had traveled. When Jim gets excited about something, it is really cute! I looked over my shoulder at Madeline in the backseat often to smile, wink or snicker about something Jim was getting all excited about! It tickled us when a wonderful song was ending and we were singing along (Madeline really loves Oldies) and Jim would 'shsh' us so we could hear what Phlash had to say!
I mention all this to set up what led me into some serious and interesting thoughts.

Even though Jim turned the music down after the DJ talked, I often turned it back up. There were some wonderful old songs. Jim and I would either blurt out the year we thought the song was popular or we would state where we were and what we were doing when we remember the song. So many comments like "teen club in 8th grade" or "CYO dance in High School." I often mentioned people that popped in my head when I heard a song: my sister, Susan Mabry, Terri, Sally, Tommy Propst, etc....It is amazing how a song can truly take you back to a time and place. Madeline couldn't place herself in those times, but she simply enjoyed singing along and she loved hearing Jim and me talk and reminisce. Jim is 3 years older than I am, so most of those oldies had me saying 'Junior High' and Jim saying 'High School'. I did have a sister who was 4 school grades ahead of me, so I knew a lot of the music simply from hearing her play it. Jim had older siblings too, and he admitted to knowing a lot of the music because of them.

At one point, Phlash played the Red Skelton version of "The Pledge of Allegiance." I had heard it before, but sitting in a car as a totally captive audience, the three of us listened respectfully to every word and really took it all in. It mixes emotions such as Patriotism, nostalgia and remembrance.  It is a wonderful recording and is worth Googling or searching You Tube to hear it.

After that Red Skelton piece, I remember saying (because at that point we were many hours into our drive) "you really do cram a lot into a lifetime." I said this because I realized that for hours this song or that song or some bit of trivia or travel information sent us all into stories of our own, memories, laughter and a few tears. I realized that we had done so much telling stories that began with "I remember...." as soon as we heard a particular song or realized what year it was from. It was a beautiful summer day and I gazed out of the window often as I listened to some song as I sang along softly.
At one point earlier, I was gazing out the window commenting on the clouds (I have a 'thing' about clouds), and I started giggling. I couldn't stop. When Madeline asked me what I was giggling about, I told her that I realized that my life is sort of like that of a cat. (Everyone knows how I feel about cats!) I love to gaze out the window, stare at the clouds, and spend long periods being quiet and pensive. I have been teased often enough about how I love to sit outside and watch the butterflies and the birds. I have 3 birdfeeders in my yard and plants that attract butterflies. I get excited when I see a bird or butterfly and I have to comment about it.   One of the highlights of swimming in my pool all summer is watching the butterflies. When I am in the pool I am at more of an eye level with the butterflies. They are so beautiful.
So, I was thinking about the birds, butterflies, clouds, wonderful music, memories and the passage of time. Despite my semblance to a cat, I realized that you really do cram a lot into a lifetime.
I find this concept exhilarating. I also find it interesting that Jim finds it depressing. I guess it's the glass half full/half empty thing. I have always been a glass half full person. I like that I can think back, look at old pictures and talk about memories and see that my life has been blessed and full. Jim thinks of the limitations and what he still has left on his bucket list. There is nothing wrong with that. I know that I often think about that proverbial list and wonder whether I'll cross this or that off of it. In reality, I know that some things will never be crossed off. But I'm okay with that. I may or may not sit on the banks of the Seine sipping some delicious red wine and eating cheese and bread and thinking "oh my. I'm in Paris!" But if I never do, I know it is in my brain....the pictures, the knowledge through research, the books I have read. Yes, I want to go to Paris, but if I never do, I will know that my desire to go there is only through a lifetime love affair with the whole thing....the art, the culture, the ballet, the bread, the cheese, the wine, the museums, the city of lights, the Eiffel Tower.......
I feel blessed that I even know enough to WANT to go there! I know it because I have been blessed with the gifts of knowledge, research, reading and studying. I do cover my ears when everyone tries to dissuade me by telling me that the French don't like American tourists. Who cares? If I am standing on the banks of the Seine, gazing at a lit Eiffel Tower, I will know that it doesn't really matter. I am, indeed, marking something off my Bucket List!
(but I digress....)

I felt compelled to write this blog now, even though our trip to Southport was in July of 2014. I have been working on a huge scrapbook for my Mom.....for her 90th birthday next week. That has REALLY sparked the idea of what you cram into a lifetime. I have been looking at photos that are at least 80+ years old up to photos that are only weeks old. Even though most of us say 'time flies,' when you look at all these photos, time can stand still. I can see what 90 years of life encompasses and how many people are touched along the way. That is why I am not depressed when I look back and reminisce. Yes, I may have been more blonde than grey. I may have had a tiny skinny belted waist instead of a body clad in a loosely fitting blouse. I may have looked tanned and thin and beautiful. But the truth of the matter is, yes I was! And yes I still am....me. I am me that has a lifetime of lovely memories and the rest of a lifetime of creating even more memories! My glass will always be half full.

In my life I have given birth to 3 wonderful children and I have attended the funerals of my wonderful Daddy and my sweet sister. I cried at my Aunt Jessie's funeral and I watched my friends Micki and Chrystal literally crumple down the aisle to the front pew of their much too young father's funeral.   I have experienced puppy love, crushes, what I thought was true love.....until I really found the love of my life. I have experienced the weddings of friends, friends' children, my children, my sister, my cousins, and of course my own....nearly 39 years ago. I have traveled and I have dreamed of travel that I hope to experience in this lifetime. I have dreamed of travel that I probably will never physically make, but can make by reading, researching and listening to the stories of those who have traveled to those places. I have cooked and cleaned and moved and decorated. I have experienced the trials and tribulations of being a 'housewife' and a mother. I have taught young people how to conjugate a verb and how to think outside the box. I have painted and drawn and written and colored and scrapbooked and made crafts to the joy and thrill of my very soul! I put my brain into creative overload, as I like to call it, and although it often results in lack of sleep and a messy house at times, it finds me in the middle of My Best Self.
In my life I have read more books than I can imagine. I often verbalize that I wish I had kept a log of all the books I have read. I am thankful to God, to my teachers, to my own burning desire to learn and experience for the love and passion I have for reading. I have often said to my kids that the moment I learned to read words on a page until the present, I have had at least one book marked with my 'place' and another book 'on deck' to pick up the minute the current book is finished. I have a true love/hate affair with my books. I find a book that makes me want to jump out of bed, pour a cup of coffee and dig in because I cannot wait to find out what happens. Then......I finish the book and I am so sad because it is over. This bears no further explanation because anyone who is an avid reader knows what I am talking about. I love that God has allowed me to cram so many wonderful books into my lifetime. I hope to cram as many more into the life that I have left in me.

Although I have not picked wildflowers in Paris nor have I trekked along the trails of the wine country in Northern California, I have experienced a lot of travel in my life. I love hearing a song or a phrase or about a certain food that sparks a memory of a time and place that was not my home, but rather a place I was blessed to visit. I went to Disney World the first year it was open with my Mom, Dad, and sister. Little did I realize at the time that it was truly an historical moment. Who would have thought Mickey Mouse would attract so many tourists from all over the globe?! I guess the Parisians wonder why anyone would want to travel across the ocean to look at a monument in the middle of their bustling city.
I have been on a cruise to the Caribbean and experienced a lovely 'family' show on the front row with my father....mom and sister....where the acts between the musical numbers consisted of topless dancers. I know my father got easily embarrassed, but his face turned a shade of red that I didn't even know was in the spectrum!
I have experienced my husband pulled on stage in Nassau by a beautiful native dancer. If anyone knows Jim Fitzpatrick, well.....you know how monumental this was!
I walked into a hotel room in Puerto Rico that literally took my breath away when I saw the view from our window.
I gazed across the Grand Canyon with my hubby and three children. Anyone who has ever done this knows what it is like to be speechless and in awe. God's hand was truly in the midst of that phenomenon!
I have shopped at the Straw Market in Nassau, Bahamas and the Straw Market in Charleston, SC. I have eaten Shrimp and Grits (oh law!) in South Carolina and I have licked the barbecue sauce off my fingers after a delicious rack of ribs at BB King's in Memphis.
I have toured Graceland and drooled over the pictures of a young and handsome Elvis. I have petted the 6 toed Hemingway cats in Key West and stared at the typewriter that pecked out the words of "The Old Man and the Sea." I have been to Mt. Vernon and Monticello. I have seen what Christmas was like in The Biltmore House where the rich Vanderbilts lived and I have seen the prison cells at Fort Desoto and in St. Augustine.
I have drunk from the Fountain of Youth and I have prayed in St. Patrick's Cathedral.
I have watched my daughter perform on the same stage where I watched "Wicked" and "Edward Scissorhands." I later watched my daughter (on that same stage) accept her diploma with honors as she graduated from UArts with a BFA in Modern Dance Performance.
I viewed a foggy and rainy Clearwater Beach in a different light when I sat on the balcony of a hotel room....booked and paid for by my newly married daughter.....as she served me homemade appetizers, wine in hand decorated glasses, and blessed me with flowers and gifts as she kidnapped me for a night to celebrate my birthday and Mother's Day. My heart overflows as I think of it.
I have ridden a train in Connecticut gazing at the beautiful Fall foliage and I have ridden a pontoon boat on Crystal River watching manatees in the Springtime.
I have had my breath taken away standing on the bridge at the Hoover Dam and I have had my eyes widened by the lights on the Vegas Strip.
I have had heart palpitations sitting in a theater on Broadway waiting for the curtain to rise on countless occasions.
I have eaten the best pizza in the world in New Jersey and I have eaten the best Barbecue in the world in Shelby, NC.
I have had the most elegant and special meal in my life at the Beacon in NYC.
I have dined at the Edwardian Room in The Plaza in NY and I have walked the streets of Broadway arm in arm with my Daddy to go see "La Cage Aux Folles." (This was another time my Dad blushed uncontrollably!)
I have enjoyed Disney World, Epcot, Busch Gardens, Sea World, Universal Studios, Carowinds, Sesame Place and MGM Grand with my kids. Jimmy and Joe patiently waited in line for 45 minutes for the Dumbo ride with their little sister because of nothing less than love, and Madeline and I years later enjoyed crepes and white wine at a lovely French Café at Epcot. We, in fact, did not miss a country as we walked around the entire place. Norway ride.....dinner in Mexico, coffee in Spain, buying Christmas ornaments in Germany.....ah....
Shamu splashed us so much that it made Madeline almost cry (with delight.....and cold!)
Universal Studios Orlando. Universal Studios Hollywood. So different. Dinner at BeniHana at the Hollywood Hilton...priceless.
Paying less for adults than children at Sesame Place in Pennsylvania so cool....only place that recognized that the park was for the kids....not the parents!
Lots can be crammed into a lifetime.

I have driven a golf cart all over Riverbend Golf Course as my Daddy's chauffeur as he hacked his way around 18 holes telling me I was his good luck charm. I played golf at The Dunes in Myrtle Beach with my husband for our 10th anniversary. It was wonderful until my ball encountered an alligator. I then became the golf cart chauffeur and no longer a golfer.
I sat in Macaroni Grill opposite my older sister as she timidly told me she was pregnant! She was terrified and thrilled beyond belief and it was so weird for me to see my stronger older sister this way....after all, I had 3 children and one of them was already a high-schooler. (little did she know, the baby part is the easiest part! Just wait.....)
I have made wonderful friends....I have kept friends.....I have lost friends and I continue to make new friends. I made a little plaque for some of my friends one Christmas that said "Friends are our chosen family." I believe that like I still believe in Santa Claus (for real) and the magic of a full moon on a warm summer night! My friends are my lifelines and I thank God for them every day.
I have eaten many foods in restaurants and I have cooked many foods for myself, my family and others. I find joy in cooking. I find joy in dining. Jim and I will die on our quest for the restaurant with the best calamari. It's a mission for us. So far, Island Way Grill wins!

I have turned over in a snowmobile in Park City Utah and I have experienced a lovely meal in Robert Redford's restaurant in the same town. I have had my hand slammed in the door of the Tilt A Whirl at the Cleveland County Fair by Buddy Hobbs and have the scar to prove it!
I have eaten the best vinegar fries at the Cleveland County Fair.....and in the latter years done so with two of the bestest friends I could ask for....Sally and Carol!
I have knelt at the altar at Central United Methodist Church in Shelby, NC and I have lit a Unity Candle at my daughter's wedding at Heritage United Methodist Church in Clearwater. I have attended a Moravian Love Feast on a below freezing evening in Raleigh, NC on Christmas Eve and I have attended a small cinder block Pentecostal Church in Shelby as a young teen. I have ministered to young campers as a counselor at The NC Baptist Assembly in Southport.
I have sat on the balcony of my sister's condo in North Myrtle Beach overlooking the ocean and gazing at the stars as we reminisced, laughed and cried and told each other secrets that now exist only in my mind and in heaven with my sister. What I wouldn't give for another of those evenings.....
I have hunted for seashells at Honeymoon Island and I have prayed at sunrise on the wall of Fort Caswell in Southport, NC.
I have laid on the hood of my parents' car in the driveway on Woodside Drive waiting for the bats to swoop down near my white shirt as I pretended to be brave in case my neighbor, Steve Rossi, might see me and take notice of me. (Yes, there was a bit of a crush there). I have gone out on my driveway on Hyde Park Place and lighted sparklers and watched my kids and the neighbors kids shoot fireworks as my husband slept. Yes, he would have disapproved and I was the 'cool Mom' so I let it happen with a promise of 'don't tell dad.'
I have raised beagles, cats and a mutt dog named Bogie. I have loved them all and realized what comfort there can be in being a pet owner. I really should say that there is comfort in being owned by a pet.
I have driven into a driveway that has literally been blown away by a tornado during a blackout in a town and realized the mighty power of nature.
I have seen Homestead, FL just months after Hurricane Andrew and I have seen Biloxi, MS not long after Katrina. I sat nursing my 3 month old baby as I watched a transformer blow in my front yard at 3 o'clock in the morning while the rest of my family slept. I remember sneaking downstairs to watch the TV try to decide if I needed to wake them up. Surprised was I to find that Hurricane Hugo decided to turn and hit in central Carolina in a place where no hurricane had ever been. I am humbled by these remembrances and will never take for granted the forces of nature.

I have walked along the ruins of Ground Zero almost afraid to speak as not to disturb the reverence. I have visited Ellis Island and read the stories of those immigrants who braved to cross the ocean to seek refuge there. I have watched "The Boy in the Striped Pajamas" and I have read "Sarah's Key." I was given a new insight into the Holocaust and I have wondered why a man could be so evil as Adolph Hitler.
I have visited many museums and I have been held captive by the works by so many talents. I know that God's hand was reaching down and touching them. How can such beauty and excellence exist otherwise?
I have experienced holidays with family. I don't know how anyone cannot feel blessed and close to God when they look around the room, across the dining room table, in the living room amongst the wrapping paper or in a restaurant when the waiter brings out the cake and sings happy birthday to the honoree. Celebrations are so special....especially milestone celebrations. Oh wait. Any celebration is a milestone. I truly look forward to next week to celebrate Mom's 90th.

I have experienced the love of a sister. I remember the time my parents went away for a week on a business trip. They always hired this lovely woman named Inez Morehead. Martha and I loved her like a Grandma. She was sweet and jolly and we managed to survive the times without our parents (which were few and far between) with ease when we had Inez. Well, the time my parents had plans to leave town and had Inez all lined up, they were thrown a curve ball! Inez got really sick and couldn't come, so rather than leave my parents in a bind, she employed her sister, Lorraine, to step in. My parents needed to go on this trip and knowing how trustworthy Inez was, they assumed Lorraine would have been likewise. NOT! Lorraine was a terror...to Martha and me, at any rate. The stories that arise because of her require a whole other blog post. I mention it because I wanted to say that during that Lorraine time, I realized that I had the best most awesome sister in the world! She totally stood up for me and was there to explain whatever needed to be explained because she truly understood me. Sisters rock!

I have caught lightening bugs in a jar and poked holes in the lid so that they would live. I have waded in the creek in my yard and lifted rocks to look for salamanders. I have fished off my Uncle Paul's pier at Lake Norman and I have been thrown in the water, skis put on my feet, a rope secured in my hand and away I go....up on skis at age 8! Thanks Uncle Paul!
I have played cards and Scrabble at the lake with my Aunt Margaret. I watched my sister jump off the boathouse at Lake Lure when we would go there with the Rogers family.
I have cruised Lake Lure on a boat and fed the ducks, visited the Dirty Dancing site, and watched the fireworks on the fourth of July.
I have been kissed on the cheek by Payne Stewart (yes ladies, be jealous) at the Heritage Golf Classic at Hilton Head. I have sat in on a session of Congress thanks to Basil Whitener of NC and my Daddy. I have been with my sister when she literally fainted in THE White House and I have flirted with the wait staff with my sister on a cruise ship.
I have seen "Rent" 11 times, "Phantom of the Opera" 9 times and "Les Miserables" several times. I have played Miss Willie in "The Curious Savage" and I have played Juliet in "When Shakespeare's Ladies Meet." I have played many other roles, painted sets, and sought out props. I have enjoyed theater as a performer, a backstage person, a teacher and an observer. I love theater so much.

I remember sitting in the auditorium at Marion School in Shelby. It was awards day for the 5th grade. We knew Joseph was getting an award because we that special phone call urging us to be there. Joseph got EVERY award! It was almost embarrassing....straight As this term. Straight As all year. Perfect attendance. President's Fitness Award. ETC... I think he came home with at least 5 big awards.
And then there's Jimmy. Golf tournaments. Basketball games (my personal favorite). Soccer. This little hyper kid loved his sports! He wanted to play only what he was really good at (kinda like his dad!) I will give this one to the Fitzpatricks.....not much co-ordination on this side. Thanks, Jimmy, for years of watching the competitive side kick in. Watching my little Jimmy, the point guard, bend his wrist in abnormal ways to make those 3 pointers for PHMS is something that my mind can't ever erase! I know his Dad sees (still to this day) Jimmy's Tiger Woods' type swing and innate ability to play golf.
Then there's those ballet shoes. Which led to patent leather tap shoes (which led to leather tap shoes which led to Miller and Ben custom made tap shoes ..... shhhh.... NO one needs to know how much those broke the bank!) Which led to Jazz shoes....tie ones, slip ons, black ones and tan ones. Which let to Lyrical slip ons. Which led to pointe shoes which cost fortune and wore out every few months. Which led us back to plain ole bare feet which got Madeline through 4 years of art school and led to a BFA.....oh my. Memories of all those shoes!
Thanks kids. My memory bank is filled with intelligence, athleticism, and artistry. What parents could ask for more? Life was never dull around these parts!

I have sat behind my Daddy's desk and pretended to be his secretary. I have ridden on a fork lift in the Porter Brothers warehouse. I have gotten a Nehi Grape Soda and a Moon Pie from the vending machine in that very warehouse. I have been in my night gown in the middle of Porter Brothers after hours when the Police came because Daddy forgot about the alarm. I have 'helped' Mary Ann Harrill and Shirley Runyans and I have won the Girl Scout cookie selling contest because Daddy put the sign up sheet on the bulletin board at Porter Brothers.
I have cruised the golf course at night on a golf cart with my cousin Scott and I have chewed more purple bubble gum than any human should have chewed with my cousin Ellen. I have raided the freezer in the basement of my cousin Nancy's home late at night and I have baked cookies with her on any given moment! I have played dolls with Patty and experienced her kindness and generosity when her brother wasn't being quite as kind and generous! (Scott is now one of the most kind and loving men that I know).
I have shopped in Atlanta and New York with my mom and experienced shopping in ways I didn't know about.  (However, I am a pro at Steinmart, TJ Maxx, Target and Bealls!) I have sat in a back room of a little 'shady' shop in Manhattan with Carol Rose as we were being offered wine, champagne and the likes while my mom and Carol's mother-in-law looked at Persian rugs and Swarovski crystal. Carol and I felt almost like we were in some sort of comedy show laughed and talked about being like Lucy and Ethel! And I still think, what's wrong with Lucy and Ethel?!

I have driven through the campus of UNC at Chapel Hill, the school of my choice since I was a little girl, and saying oh no...I'm not going here!   The huge campus just didn't sit well with me. I watched my Daddy do what he did best....be an awesome dad. He didn't react. He didn't panic. He just asked me what I wanted for my college experience and proceeded to find schools that would "fit the bill." We spent the remainder of the weekend visiting schools.... UNCG, Furman, Meredith, High Point, and Elon. Driving through the gates of Elon, I knew I was "home." Finding the love of my life there only confirms that. God is good. His timing is excellent.

I have put myself in uncomfortable situations which all made me into a confident and happy woman. If one really wanted to write about what all they crammed into a lifetime, well, it would literally take a lifetime. I know I feel blessed. I love that my memory is such a source of pleasure. I love knowing I can conjure up things whenever I hear a song, a comment, or when I simply just want to remember. I love that my lifetime has crammed so many things into it. I love having a Bucket List of sorts to use to keep adding to that memory bank. I love that my memories make me happy in that they are a reminder of who I am and why.
I love knowing that on April 1st my Mom can look at her scrapbook and be reminded of the 9 decades she has lived and that her life has been impactful on so many people.

And that, my friends, is what memories are made of.

Random Things That Make Me Happy