Have a Seat at My Table

"A single conversation across the table with a wise man is better than ten years mere study of books."  Wise words from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.  I've always loved the sentiment of live, learn, and pass it on.  What better way to impart the important (or mundane) life's lessons?

This conjures up so many images in my mind of sitting around a table.....in conversation, dining, game playing, crafting, working, or whatever we like to do at a table.  I was thinking of all the tables in my life that have significance of some type or another.

I have written before about sitting around tables.  I suppose if I think about it, so much time is spent doing just this.  My kitchen table is very multi-purpose.  We purchased the table with the purpose of dining in mind.  And we do use it for that.  However, this very table has taken on many different functions.  I don't think Jim could drink his morning coffee and read the paper anywhere but at this table.  It has also become Jim's office.  He does his work at this table.  The desk back in our bedroom that was set up for this purpose is never used for his work.  He claims the internet speed is much slower back there and he wastes a lot of time waiting for attachments to download and open.  In respect of his job, I am fine with him sitting at our kitchen table to work.  If he feels he is more productive there, I am all for it. 
I have noticed that the older I get the less I worry about things like that.  So what if the table is cluttered with papers, business cards and a lap top computer?  It really is no big deal.

But not only is our kitchen table also an office, it is a bridge table.  When I host bridge we always use that table as one of our tables at which to play.  It is really a bit big for bridge, but again, my old age has me not worrying so much about having to stretch a bit.  It makes it so much easier than getting out the folding card table!  (Maybe I am actually just getting lazier.....)
My friend, Susan, taught me the 'placemat trick.'  When you are sitting long ways at the kitchen table and you have to lay down your dummy hand, we pull out one of the placemats and put the dummy hand on it.  You can then slide it as close to your partner as you need to, and voila!  No one has to stretch or become contorted in any way.
I always snicker when I think of this brilliant idea as I recall one night we were using it a lot.  I sat at that table for several rounds and the placemat was being used almost every hand.  That night the placemat I had was one that is covered with flowers and butterflies.  It is really pretty and springy and I love that set of placemats!  I use them often.  We played several rounds and my friend, Anita, came in to play at that table from the other room.  When it was her turn to be the recipient of the placemat dummy hand, she calmly turned the placemat over to the plain fabric side and was not distracted by the busy-ness of the butterflies and flowers!  We all started laughing because hand after hand, no one even vaguely thought of that.  Anita just looked at us like we were a bit off our rockers as if she couldn't imagine such a simple concept going unnoticed.  Leave it to Anita!
I have said before, it doesn't take much to amuse us at bridge and send us into fits of hysteria.  That was one of those times.

My kitchen table is also a craft table from time to time.  I will spread a plastic table cloth or a bunch of newspapers on it and pull out some of my craft supplies and go to town.  I usually do that when I need more room than my folding card table gives me or when I have someone over doing crafts with me.  Linda and I have done shell crafts, card making and painting at that table.  Trina and I made Christmas ornaments at that table, and I recently made napkin rings and a centerpiece for a tea that the women's ministry at our church recently hosted.

We sit at this kitchen table to play hand and foot, Flux, rummy, GOLF, or a multitude of board games.  We have played there many times with Tommy and Linda, Lindsey, Madeline, Eric, Porter and Grandma.  Linda and I usually beat Jim and Tommy at Hand and Foot, but if you ask them, I imagine they wouldn't admit it.
Madeline swears she loses every game she plays no matter what the game or against whom.  I think she exaggerates......but I DO seem to win more often when I play games with her!

The kitchen table we moved here from North Carolina was bigger than the table we have now.  We needed it.  We had 3 kids who ate all their meals around that table.  We had a lot of birthday parties that culminated with cake and ice cream around that table.  We studied for spelling tests, did school projects and filled out forms at that table.
Madeline coerced me into playing Monopoly at that table more times than I'd like to admit.  She still asks me to play Monopoly with her, but I find it easier to say no to a 23 year old than I did a 7 year old.  I don't know what it is about Monopoly, but I just seldom find myself in the mood to play it any more.  I think I just got burned out from playing it over and over and over again.  I'll bet I have been playing Monopoly for 50 years!
I did recently play Monopoly with Madeline.  We had Mom sleep over one night and she wanted to learn how to play the game.  Madeline wore herself out being the banker, playing her own game, and teaching and helping Grandma with each of her turns!  It was fun......3 generations of women enjoying an afternoon of game playing.  Good times.

We are in the midst of wedding planning right now.  It is a wonderfully exciting time, but sometimes the details can become overwhelming.  There is even a lot to think about regarding tables for a wedding.
First of all, the Barnes are planning a rehearsal dinner.  I know they are considering the guest lists and who will sit where and what function will they have.
Madeline and I have been to Dunedin Country Club on several occasions to envision the set up for the reception.  We have thought of several things such as the food serving tables, the high top tables to be used for the cocktail hour, and the tables on the patio where guests can go to get some fresh air.  Then there's the set up of the dinner tables which also comes with not only placement of the tables for the best flow and the best use of space, but also the seating charts.  Who will enjoy sitting with whom?
You have to consider the color scheme and table decorations.  When people come to a wedding reception the hope is that they will eat, drink, dance and enjoy themselves, but their 'home base' is their table.   A lot centers around that.

Many important events are centered around a table.  I can envision Leonardo da Vinci's 15th century mural painting of The Last Supper.  This painting represents the scene of The Last Supper of Jesus with his disciples as it is told in the Gospel of John 13:21.   This is truly a monumental event that has been captured by an artist for people throughout the centuries to embrace.
This mural is 180 inches by 350 inches and covers an end wall of the dining hall at the Monastery of Santa Maria delle Grazie in Milan, Italy.  I think when most of us hear the words The Last Supper, a visual of this work of art comes to mind.
I have never been to Italy, but seeing something like this is another good reason to add that trip to my Bucket List.

The Round Table is King Arthur's famed table in legend around which he and his knights congregate.  There is no head to this table implying that everyone around it is equal.  This symbolism has developed over time to represent chivalric order.  I like that thought of everyone around a table being equal.

Martin Luther King, Jr. said "I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit together at the table of brotherhood."
Pretty powerful and wonderful words from this visionary.

Another tidbit of information that I love because is shows the versatility and good use of a table is that Ping Pong was invented on the dining tables of England in the 19th Century.  It was then called Wiff-Waff.
I guess my idea of using our dining table for many different functions is not so original!

Recently I was involved in a wonderful event at my church.  The women's ministry holds a high tea each year. It is a time of fellowship as well as a fundraiser.  Various people sign up to host a table.  This means you bring all the things in to decorate the table and serve as hostess for that table during the tea.  The event is so popular that there are two seatings.  They have done this for the past 14 years!
I went to the tea last year and took my Mom.  Trina and her mother-in-law joined us.  We were amazed when we walked into the room to see how lovely and creative the tables were.  Everyone had chosen a theme and color scheme for their table.  We sat at a table entitled Winter Wonderland.  It was decorated with snowflakes and white and silver china.  It was really lovely.
This year Trina and I decided to host our own table.  We decided the best place to start was to choose which china we would use.  We decided upon my china which is beige with a small floral design.  There is some pink in the flowers.  Since Trina and I both love the beach, we decided we would go with an elegant "beachy" theme and use colors of beiges and pinks.  We entitled our table "Seaside Serenity."  I made a centerpiece for the table and Trina located a three tiered plate stand for our food.  I decorated this with beige ribbon and scallop shells.  Trina found some teapots for us and had cookies made to look like starfish that we gave for favors.  I painted sand dollars that said "Seaside Serenity" and the name of the guest.  I made napkin rings out of shells and we stuck some small pink wildflowers in with the pink napkins and napkin rings.  I think our table turned out lovely, if I must say so myself.  Although this wasn't an actual table of our family's, the items on the table were mine and the guests around the table and the enjoyment of the event were quite memorable.  I am already thinking of next year's theme.....

Mom's antique oak breakfast room table has been used for many things as well.  I know she always kept it round without the leaves, but whenever we came to town, we pulled it apart and added two leaves.  We needed a big table just to accommodate my crew, not to mention the Yeltons, Gene and whoever else might be included in dinner that night.

Mom's breakfast room table was the location for the daily gin rummy games that she played with Gene.  I think she misses that, but I am thankful that she had those years with Gene to enjoy this.  It is a fond memory that she and Gene will always have.  He came and won his $2.00 off her almost every day!  Occasionally she won, but it wasn't about the winning.  It was about the companionship and the pleasure of doing something fun during the day.

Mom often did her bill paying at the breakfast room table.  She would pull out her checkbook and plug in (yes, plug in) her calculator.  She wrote letters and addressed birthday cards there.  But I think her favorite use (mine too) of that table was morning newspaper reading and coffee drinking.  I wish I had logged how many hours we sat there doing just that.  We had some of our best conversations at that table.

Mom didn't move that table to Florida.  She didn't have any room for it.  I love my breakfast room table, so I didn't need or want it.  It still sits in her almost empty house in Shelby.  One day while I was talking to Madeline about her home she will share with Eric come March 1, 2014, she mentioned that old oak table.  She said that come to think of it, she might like to have it!  So, next time we decide to clear out and move the rest of Mom's things, I guess I can add  that table to my garage to save for Madeline and Eric.  What's one more piece of furniture out there?

I think one of my favorite tables is the patio table we have on our lanai.  It isn't my favorite because it is beautiful or valuable.  It is my favorite because sitting out on the lanai in the evening with my husband has become the highlight of my days.  He loves it too, and we were talking about it just the other night as we were sitting there listening to the birds, watching the sprinklers in our grass, commenting on the palm trees swaying in the breeze, and noticing the sun setting off to the west.  We realized that our best conversations take place there more than any other place.  We also realized the peace in just sitting there saying nothing.  Quiet time can speak volumes.
I love living in paradise, and when I am out on my lanai, I have a reminder of that.

When we lived in North Carolina, Jim and I bought a black wrought iron table set.  We were very proud of it and we actually moved it to Florida and used it here for many years.  Sitting outside in North Carolina was pretty cool too.  It was quite different, but I can think of that table and think of so many memories.  We sat there and watched the kids play soccer in the yard or basketball in the driveway.  We watched Madeline ride her little orange and yellow car up and down the driveway.  It was mobilized by using your feet.  She loved that car and it seems like yesterday that she was cruising around in that instead of her little blue Kia (Baxter).  Time flies.  And I realize that more and more each day.  Truly there is a reason to embrace every moment you can because in a blink of an eye you can miss something special.

Our black wrought iron table was also the location for birthday cake and presents.  I particularly remember one of Jimmy's birthday parties around this table.  He always liked to have his parties at home. Basically a group of sweaty, smelly 10 year old boys played basketball and soccer and then wanted to be fed lots of sugary foods.  When Jimmy opened his gifts I can remember hearing the noises and the silly comments.  Little boys can be very loud and obnoxious!  And I really miss that sometimes.

Another fun table to remember is the dining room table at the Yelton's.  Martha and Bob loved to entertain, whether it be big fancy cocktail parties or family dinners of Bob's famous grilled hamburgers.  No matter what the occasion, we sat at their big glass-top table. 
Martha was such a good hostess.  She always had things 'just so.'  She did a good job with any type of hostessing duties.  It saddens me to realize that I won't be setting that table with her as we prepare for some sort of event.  However, I praise Bob for trying to keep the traditions alive.  He still makes a killer burger and Porter has perfected my macaroni and cheese recipe.  Martha would be proud of them.

When we were growing up on Woodside Drive, we had a round wooden kitchen table with a lazy Susan in the middle.  I thought it was cool then, but I didn't realize the wonderful functionality of it until I fed a husband and 3 children (and their friends) for years and years.  There was not a lot of 'pass the salt' or 'is there any more bread' when you have a lazy Susan.  If you want or need something, you just reach up and turn that little thing around and there you have it!  Whoever invented that was really quite wise.
As kids, we didn't always appreciate the lazy Susan for what it was.  I remember putting my stuffed cat on it and Martha would spin it around and tease me!  We had a lot of fun with it.  I guess for Mom it was a helpful tool.  For Martha and me it was a plaything.  Talk about versatility!

Tim Scott, a South Carolina republican senator said "If our message reaches the kitchen tables, we are in good shape."  I don't really know much about this guy or what message he was talking about, but it is true that our kitchen tables are known to be the center of conversation in American homes.
Ronald Regan said "All great change in America begins at the dinner table."  I really love that quote.  Leave it to Ronald Regan!

Along those lines, a lot of humor has also been written about what goes on around the dinner table.  The crudely hysterical George Carlin said "The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant.  Every table had an argument going."  I guess that is a sad but true commentary.

I love this quote from Voltaire also:  "Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry always gets the best of the argument."  I don't think there is much need to add to this comment!

I guess the most versatile table of all is the folding card table.  In the past, I used my folding card table strictly for bridge.  Now it is my main crafting table.  I actually have more than one folding table and Madeline has set one up in her room.  She is working on some projects and with limited time for doing these projects, she has found that just setting up a table and having it readily accessible is the best way to work on a project when you have a few minutes to spare.  She has a table set up in her room right now, and although her room is crowded, she is ready whenever inspiration hits!  I have another card table set up in our back bedroom.  I was in the midst of making cards and never finished.  Several days have passed and this table is just as I left it.  No matter.  I am sure I will have some spare time and some inspirational moments and I'll jump right back in!

This is not to say that I don't still use the folding tables for bridge.  I do.  But mostly it is just easier to use the kitchen table and the game table in the living room.

My dining room table is used mainly for special dinners like Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas or someone's birthday.  Sometimes we eat there when we have company and need that extra space or want it to be quieter and more special.  I love sitting in my dining room.  I guess I love it because it usually  represents a fun time and also it usually means there are friends and relatives with us.  I like to use my china, silver and crystal in my dining room, but I also enjoy eating in there with my everyday stuff.

                        

When I made Mom's huge scrapbook for her 80th birthday surprise, I sat at the dining room table.  It was the only place in my house big enough to spread out and have all my supplies and a working space.  It took me a long time, so we just lived with the mess on the dining room table.  I don't think it mattered....rather it was a reminder of this special gift I was making for such a special person!

Jim uses our dining room table when he has his poker group over.  It is the only place big enough to accommodate the group.  I have to take off all my pretty things and put a plastic tablecloth on the table and clip it down with plastic clips.  It is the way Jim likes it for the cards and the poker chips.  Whatever works for him is fine with me.  I am pretty sure the guys are coming over to see who can win the poker hands, eat some pizza and junk food.  I don't think their concern is what the table looks like.

Paul Newman says:  "If you are playing a poker game and you look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you."  Maybe I should share these words of wisdom with Jim!

I suppose my dining room table is actually used more than I realized and is more versatile than I have been giving it credit.

I love to do jigsaw puzzles.  I don't do them as often as I would like, but every now and then I just get a hankering to do one.  I usually do it on the game table in my living room, but I have to be sure I am not hosting bridge any time soon because I use that table for my bridge group.  Once I start a puzzle, it always lures me in, but I really don't have a lot of time to spend on it, so it often takes me quite a while to do one. 
When I was recuperating from my second foot surgery, my sweet husband rented a wheelchair for me.  I remember wheeling in to the game table in the living room and working on jigsaw puzzles.  Two that I remember doing at that time were preserved and framed and are hanging in my laundry room.  One was very large and it is a puzzle of all types of seashells.  I was proud of myself for finishing that one.  The other one is a scene of an open door leading out into beautiful tropics.  They were both too big and pretty not to preserve!
I have also been known to do puzzles on my folding card table and at Mom's (that one didn't last long....she didn't really care much about doing it).

The tables in our family have been bought and shared and traded and sold and donated to charity.  The game table in my house right now used to be at Mom's house in Shelby.  The game table I had that I replaced with this one from Mom's is now at Jimmy's place.  The oak table that is still at Mom's house in Shelby will hopefully be in Eric and Madeline's house soon.  Jim and I bought our breakfast room table on a whim.  We went into a furniture store to buy a chair and came out with the table, chairs and a hutch!  It was about two years or more before we finally bought the chair we were out looking for (but that is another story to come later.....). 
There is no telling what can be done and accomplished sitting around a table.  It is a great time for conversation, dining, gaming, creating and just all sorts of things.  If you stop and think about it, the tables in our homes are the prime location of so many different kinds of events. 
And memories are made of this.

Game Table as birthday gift holder

Mom's foyer table now as her dining table

Lunch at Mom's



GOOD TIMES AROUND A TABLE:

with cousins

Mom with the Porters

Jessie's birthday at the Yelton's

Madeline's Birthday celebration
with Mildred and Homer at our house

Mildred's birthday at Mom's

The Good Book

Patrick Henry said:  "The Bible is worth all the other books which have ever been printed."  Maybe that explains why our family has a lot of Bibles.  The thing is, usually there is one Bible that you like to read and refer to.  This is the Bible that you write in, put sticky notes and save roses or flowers pressed between the pages for prosterity.

Other Bibles become coffee table Bibles or bookshelf Bibles.  I have several of these.  I realized the other day when I picked up my Bible to look something up that my house is filled with Bibles and that they mean many things.  Of course, we all know that the Bible is known as "The Good Book," and this post is not to undermine that.  I can think of more than one time when the Good Book saved me from something.  It speaks the truth and it is the most important book in the house.  It serves as the foundation for all that is true and good and important.

Two of the most recent Bibles that came to dwell in my house are from Mom's house.  One is a Bible that was my dad's.  I found it when I was packing up Mom's house.  It looked old and I knew it was my dad's, so I decided to put it in the pile labeled "Mary" for the movers. 

Not only were we packing up a house, we were dividing it into two different destinations....my house and Mom's new place at Stratford Court.  It was a hard way to pack up and we didn't have a lot of time to do it.  It was also difficult because we left a lot behind.  So when the movers came, I had to supervise and tell them what went to Florida and what stayed in Shelby.  And further more, the truck had to be loaded according to what was to be delivered to Mom's new place and what was to be delivered to my garage.

But back to my dad's Bible.  When I started unpacking all the things I had sent here from North Carolina, it was like finding hidden treasure!  Every box held something new and different.  I packed in a hurry and put some things in without really scrutinizing them.  When I took the time to unpack Daddy's Bible and look at it, I was totally engrossed.  The Bible is falling apart and some pages are coming out of it.  The title on the front is almost non-visable.  There is a stain on the front cover and it looks like something that should be thrown out with the trash.  Thank goodness it never was!  It now sits proudly on the desk part of the secretary that once belonged to my Grandmother.  When someone comes to visit and is willing to listen, I love to tell them the story of this Good Book.  It is special in more ways than one.

First, it is written in much neater handwriting than I ever saw my Dad use.  It says:  "Joseph Mills Porter...Given by his Father on Graduation from Belwood High School....Apr. 27-1938." (My guess is that his mom or his sister, Madeline, wrote that).  I saw this and thought how cool it was.  Then I stepped back and really thought about it.  1938!  My Dad was 17 years old and this Bible was 74 (at the time) years old.  Wow.
The other reason this Bible is special is that on that same page and the page adjacent to it my sweet sister wrote some things!  I recognize the handwriting and I recognize it as the handwriting she had in elementary school.  So that, too, is pretty old!  One side says "Cousins."  Underneath are 2 distinct columns and the names are numbered.  Number one is Ellen and number 12 is Gin.  That made me laugh, because she didn't have the generational stuff quite right!  But the list goes like this:  Ellen, Bill, Nancy, Janet, Scott, Patty, Shelia, Kim, (who's Kim?), Eddie, Bobby, Tony, Gin.  It makes me smile every time I look at it!
The page next to it that has the inscription about my dad has Martha's 'signature'  underneath it.  It is written in cursive, unlike the cousin list, as if it was when she first learned how to write her name in cursive.  'Martha' is scribbled out with another attempt.  The signature takes 3 lines and it reads 'Martha Jo Porter.'

I love reading the title page.  It says all of this, with it's different fonts and font sizes and in its visually pleasing design:  The Holy Bible, Containing the Old and New Testaments, Translated out of the original tongues, and with the former translations diligently compared and revised...the text conformable to that of the edition of 1611, commonly known as the authorized or Kings James Version...The World Syndicate Publishing Co., Cleveland, New York.
There is no copyright date that I can locate.

Although this Bible is old and worn, there are no markings in it.  Obviously this Bible was not one of the ones my dad used on a regular basis.  I know Daddy would have scribbled in his Bible and left many notes.  He didn't know how to do anything without scribbling and making notes!  I am pretty much the same way and that is why Daddy nicknamed me "Doodler."

I do so love the smell of this old book.

The Old Testament is pretty well in tact.  Go figure!  Pages start falling out around the start of the New Testament and some pages have disintegrated tape that once held them in place.  I figured the New Testament pages were more worn and falling out because it was probably the section that was actually used and read more.

Stuck in the middle of Ecclesiastes is the only place where I found any notes or anything.  There is a neatly written list of verses and at the bottom of the list it says 'These may be a comfort to you--'  I don't know whose writing it is, but it is very neat and beautiful and it looks like a female's handwriting.  The paper isn't as old and worn as the rest of the book.  There is also an index card stuck in that same spot with a typed order of service on one side and handwritten on the other side is a list of 7 names with their street address.  It appears to me to be something like a list of shut-ins.  Again, I don't recognize any of the names on the list nor do I know who wrote it.  It appears to be the same handwriting as the list of verses.

I hope that with some TLC this Bible will last many more years and can be passed down to my kids.  I hope they will appreciate it and realize that so many years ago it was bought by their Great Grandfather and given to their Grandfather in great love on a momentous occasion.
In the meantime, it will continue to reside on my secretary and I will continue to tell its story to anyone who will listen.

Daddy had many Bibles since the one he received in 1938.  He was a true believer in The Good Book and he lived his life accordingly. 



Christmas 1986 when Jimmy was 3 and Joseph was 6, Daddy gave them Bibles for Christmas.  Daddy was always buying gifts for Martha and me that were surprises and then he started buying surprise gifts for my boys.  I think it is special because they were gifts he thought of and purchased on his own without Mom's knowledge or help.  These Bibles were one example of that.

They are hardback Bibles entitled "The Children's Living Bible."  Jimmy's is still here in my house but a few years ago I packed up a lot of Joseph's special things and sent them to him.  I thought he'd like to have them in his own home.  His Bible from Grandpop was one of those things.



The inscription from my dad reads:   "Dear James, Jesus Christ is Lord!  He loves you and I love you!  Grandpop."  Daddy filled in where it says 'This Bible presented to with James Marshall Fitzpatrick, by Grandpop, on Christmas 1986.'  Joseph's said the same thing with only the name changed.

I wonder if these Bibles will be around in 2060 when they are 74 years old like the one I have of my Dad's from his high school graduation.  I hope they can survive the decades and be around for my great grandchildren to enjoy!

The other Bible that I brought from Mom's is a beautiful white Bible that was Jessie's.  I can picture it on her coffee table.  I can remember picking it up and looking at it many times when I visited her.  I now keep it on my coffee table.  I left everything in tact, just as Jessie had left it.  It brings a feeling of warmth and joy to me whenever I pick it up.  I must say, however, I am used to my NIV Study Bible and when I looked a verse up in Jessie's Bible, I had trouble with it!  It is an authorized King James Version, and although that it was I was raised on, I have difficulty with understanding it now.  Yikes!  This Bible has a copyright date of 1954.  The title page reads:  "Self-Pronouncing The Holy Bible containing the Old and New Testaments translated out of the original tongues and with the former translations diligently compared and revised.  The Authorized King James Version."
Jessie left a few interesting things tucked in this Bible.  The first is a pamphlet called 'Cemetery Rules and Regulations.'  It is just like Jessie to want to know and understand anything that she was dealing with.
The next thing (I have left everything just as she had it....even on the same page) that I found in Jessie's Bible is a program from Gladys Bridges' funeral.  Gladys was a lovely lady.  She was a cousin of Mom's and Jessie's.  I remember her with her hair always neatly in a bun.  She was a former school teacher and always had wonderful stories.  Mom and Jessie definitely have longevity in their family.  Gladys' life was March 4, 1906-February 23, 2008.  102 years old!  Wow.



Jessie was too neat and respectful to write and make notes in her Bible.  Instead, there are several bookmarks.  The first bookmark is at the 23rd Psalm.  As I read this Psalm from Jessie's Bible, it is exactly as I first learned and memorized.  I think some things just need to be left alone.  It is such a beautiful passage.

The next bookmark in Jessie's Bible is at Psalm 91.  Her bookmark is actually a little calendar from 1997 that says True Happiness.  Jessie wrote Psalm 91 on this little calendar.  In Jessie's Bible the sub-title to Psalm 91 is "The happy state of the godly."  Jessie was a wise woman.  It touches me and makes me glad that she was reading about happiness.  I hope and pray that she always felt happy.  I know she always made me happy just by being in her presence.  Mom too.  We both miss her so much.

The center of Jessie's Bible has a fold-out that is the Family Register and Family Tree.  This is the one place Jessie wrote in her Bible.  She has a lot of the family information written in her own beautiful handwriting.  It is a  blessing to have this because I am not sure I have it written down anywhere else.  I like to know about my heritage.



The next bookmark Jessie had is at Matthew 25:  35-40.  One day Madeline and I were talking about something and we went to look up these very verses.  Since Jessie's Bible was right there on the coffee table, that is the Bible that we used.  We didn't have to look hard....it was interesting that she already had that passage marked. 

The next bookmark falls at a section in the back of the Bible entitled "Spiritual Gems of the Bible."  It is one of those handy quick go-to places for special passages.  It lists:  The Ten Commandments, The Twenty-third Psalm, The Beatitudes, The Lord's Prayer, The Sermon on the Mount, and "The Two Great Commandments."  They are printed on special beautifully decorated pages.  It makes it easy and pleasant to go read those wonderful words.
Those Two Great Commandments from Matthew 22:  35-40 bear quoting here:  "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.  This is the first and great commandment.
And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.  On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."

Both Jessie and my Dad were fine examples of trying to live their lives based on these two commandments.
My mom, like her sister and her husband, also exemplifies these commandments.  She has her Bible with her at Stratford Court, so I don't have it here to peruse.  I know I enjoy a good 'religious' discussion with her from time to time.  We definitely share many of the same ideas.

Madeline used a Teen Study Bible that I gave her many years ago up until recently.  She loved it and had many things marked in it.  She bought herself a new Bible about a year or so ago.  It is pink (I'm not the only one!) and she keeps it by her bed.  I did go in her room to take a picture of the Bible, but I didn't go through it.  Sometimes our Bibles are our little safe haven and I didn't want to feel like I was invading her sacred place.  I know this Bible went with her to Jamaica last summer when she went on a mission trip as a chaperone.  It was her first time to chaperone and I know it was a wonderful experience for her.  She had been on several mission trips throughout the years as a student.  I know these trips made an impact on who she is today.....and that is a kind-hearted and beautiful person, both inside and out.  She is like her grandmother and her great Aunt Jessie in many ways.



My Bible sits by my easy chair in the family room.  I like to have it out and close by should I feel the need for it.  Our church gives out little devotional books from time to time and I like to follow them.  The last one I followed was for Lent.  I used my early morning time when the house is still quiet to read these devotions.
Like most people, I have had several Bibles throughout time.  I got a Bible from the church in 3rd grade, as did each of my children.  I got a Bible from Elon when I graduated college.  So did my husband.  We have little New Testaments that the children got when they were baptized.  I had one of these myself.  But the Bible I have now I bought when I moved to Florida.  It is a soft covered NIV Study Bible.  I started BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) and I wanted a user-friendly study Bible.  I even went so far as to buy the little tabs that mark each chapter.  This may seem like 'cheating,' but it makes life easier when you are in a discussion group and trying to quickly find passages.
If someone were to find my Bible they would find a few bookmarks, but they aren't strategically and purposefully placed like Jessie's.  They are just stuck in there randomly so that they will be handy when needed.  One of the bookmarks I have in my Bible is a laminated Winnie the Pooh bookmark that says:  "I knew when I met you an adventure was going to happen."  A wonderful nice lady named Rose Bishop gave it to me.  She was in the same theater group as I was.  She passed away a year or so later, so this bookmark is very special.  Also, little did I know at the time when she gave it to me that Porter would become so enamored with all things Winnie the Pooh.  In fact, just last week on my birthday card envelope he put a Winnie the Pooh Happy Birthday sticker! 
I imagine that I will always keep my special Winnie the Pooh bookmark in my Bible.

I have 4 other things stuck in the back of my Bible.  One is another laminated bookmark with a Chronological Bible Reading Guide.  In 2012 our pastor challenged us as a church to read the entire Bible.  This bookmark is a guide for that for the months of October, November and December.  We had a sheet with a reading guide for the entire year.  I did try to do it, but I will admit I didn't read nearly all of it.  I am challenging myself to read the entire Good Book sometime in the future.  I saved this reading guide that our church laid out for us to use for that challenge.
The next thing I have in the back of my Bible is a postcard that has the verse from Isaiah 28:16.  After I left BSF, I did a Bible study called Cornerstone for a year or two.  This verse is the basis for that group.
I also have a printout entitled "Words of Encouragement."  It is a handy little chart that has God's positive responses to our negative thoughts and the Bible references.  For example:  You say:  "I'm always worried and frustrated."  God says:  Cast all your cares on ME (1 Peter 5:7).
It's definitely a good reminder.  Someone had sent this to me in an email in 2008.
And the final thing I have in my Bible is something that a friend sent me in 2001.  I printed it from the email because I thought it would be a handy tool.  It is called "A Handy Reference List of Emergency Phone Numbers."  For example, When in sorrow.....call John 14.  The list is long and deals with many thoughts and emotions, both positive and negative.

I love knowing that I was raised in a Christian home and that those that have gone before me had faith so that I know they did not die in fear or despair.  I have used the phrase "Glorious Reunion" many times.  My cousins and I quote our Aunt Madeline often.  She believed in this Glorious Reunion, as did her siblings and as do their children.  It is a comfort knowing that we all like to think about this reunion.

Martin Luther one time penned:  "God writes the Gospel not in the Bible alone, but also on trees, and in the flowers and clouds and stars."
I think that is a beautiful way to look at the glory of it all.

And memories are made of this.

"Jesus Loves Me, this I know.

For the Bible tells me so."



The Good Stuff

I have had a busy couple of weeks with company, events and celebrations.  While putting away some silver serving pieces, crystal bowls, china and sterling flatware, I started thinking about these things that we always refer to as "the good stuff." 
I love my good stuff.  I love it for many reasons.  I love it because it is beautiful and it feels good to use it.  I love it because it makes a lovely table setting.  I love it because it is not something I use every day, therefore it always feels 'special' when I pull it out.  But I mainly love it because each thing I use tells a story.  I don't pull this stuff out of a cabinet, a hutch, a drawer or out from under my bed (yes, I have a set of silver under my bed!) without thinking of who gave it to me, when I acquired it, what it means and what it represents.
So, my good stuff is not only truly good stuff, it is a source for entertainment and reminiscing for me.

Madeline had two friends visit week before last.  They are really good friends of hers.  She went to college with them, danced with them, shared an apartment with them and now they are designated bridesmaids for her wedding to Eric in March, 2014. 
These girls did not come to Florida and expect to be entertained or fed.  They are all good at fending for themselves.  It was a pleasure seeing them together, as being together was what really mattered.  The outings and dining and sightseeing were merely bonuses.  There is nothing better than seeing three 20-some-year-olds laughing and talking and just living in the moment.....happy to be reunited.
Obviously, I did not need to pull out the good stuff for these girls!  Paper plates were fine for them.  Or better yet, just eating the chips right out of the bag and the salsa right out of the container seemed to suffice.  No need to stand on ceremony!
I did decide to have a cookout one night.  That is our Florida tradition whenever we have guests come visit from out of state.  Of course, we ended up cooking in because it was so cold and not much of a cookout night.  So, instead of paper plates, I set the table with what I consider our 'everyday dishes' and Jim calls our 7 pound plates!  He is so funny about what dishes and glasses he uses.  We have taken to eating dinner in front of the TV like old married empty-nesters often do, so Jim likes to use the lightweight plastic plates we have just for ourselves.  They are far from the good stuff, and they are not even acceptable for guests in any way!  Sometimes these lightweight plastic dishes are dirty so I pull out what I call our everyday dishes.  These are the ones Jim calls the 7 pound plates.  Since he has to sit in his easy chair and balance his plate on his lap while he watches Brian Williams narrate "The World News Tonight",  he wants to use the plastic dishes.  It is more comfortable for him.
I have blogged briefly about these 7 pound dishes before.  (By the way, they are really heavy.....)   Dad bought them from Mom while they were traveling in California many moons ago.  I always loved them, and when Mom and Dad moved into their house on Lynhurst Lane she gave them to me.  They no longer matched her kitchen and she knew she would never use them.  They do match my kitchen and I use them all the time.....that is, when we aren't eating from our family room easy chairs!
These dishes are a handpainted pattern called Vineyard.  They are made by VernonWare by Metlox.  I researched a little to learn more about this pattern.  I learned that Vernonware began in 1916 and was located in Vernon, California.  It was bought out by Metlox in 1958.  The pattern I have is off white with a border of leaves of gold, green, and grayish-blue with turquoise grapes.  This pattern was introduced in 1960 and discontinued in 1980. 
I can see why Mom loved it and as I said, I still love it today.  Next to pink, green is my favorite color and I have had greens in my kitchens in more than one house.  Therefore, this set of dishes has worked for me for a long time.  I also use them in the dining room (even though they don't 'match') sometimes for Thanksgiving.  They leaves on the plates look very 'fall-ish' to me.  In fact, there is a similar pattern made by Vernonware called Autumn Leaves.  It looks a lot like the Vineyard pattern.  So often when I am setting the table with these dishes, I think about my Mom and Dad and I can picture them on Ridgeview Drive.  I always think of sitting at our round kitchen table, eating off this Vineyard pattern.....Mom, Dad, Martha and me.  We always were a close family and mealtime seems to be a time when not only my family, but most families, spend time together in conversation, eating, laughter and just creating that 'picture' of family.  That's what needs to be implanted in my brain so that I can conjure it up whenever I need to take myself back to that happy time in my life.
So, my 'everyday dishes,' are not only used as vessels for our food, but they often serve as vessels for my fond memories.

Jim and I have a mishmash of plastic dishes.  We have had a couple of sets throughout the years and when they crack and fade, we throw them away.  We still have four of one set and they are almost ready for the trash.  They don't match anything and never have.  I bought them from a clearance rack at Target one time and I think I bought them mainly because they have a lot of pink in them and I knew how much Jim liked to eat off plastic dishes!  They are stained now and starting to chip in places.
The other plastic dishes we have are cute.  They have palm trees on them and they are tans, browns and greens and they go really well on our lanai.  That is why I bought them.  I have a set of 8 and I got them so that we could use them outside for our Florida cookouts.  I have started using them sometimes for our evening meals because we are almost out of our other plastic plates.  Now my palm tree plates are starting to get worn out!  I actually bought these plates at the grocery store!  Publix had them several years ago for 99 cents each.  I wish they would carry them again.  I would definitely buy some more.

When Mom moved to Florida she knew she wouldn't need her china and silver.  She had a friend from Charlotte who called her asking if she was interested in selling her china because her daughter had the same pattern and would love to buy some more.  Mom agreed.  Mom had service for 16 but her friend only wanted service for 8.  She came to get them and as we were packing them up for her I realized how much I liked them.  I needed another set of dishes like I needed a hole in the head, but being the sentimental slob that I am, I decided I may as well keep the other service for 8.  I thought that Mom may get to Florida and wish she had her china.  So far she hasn't had any desire to have it.  So, I am using her china.  I use it fairly often.  I can make it look good in either my breakfast room or my dining room.  I like it because it is heavier and sturdier than my Lenox bone china.  It actually can go in the dishwasher!  Whenever Mom comes over, I make sure I set the table with her china and silver.  That way it can make her feel like she is still using her own 'good stuff!'

This pattern in a Copeland Spode pattern.  Again, I decided to do a little bit of research on this china.  I found that the Spode company began in 1770 and in 1833 was purchased by William Copeland and Thomas Garrett.  The mark then changed to say Copeland Spode.  The pattern in Gainsborough.  It is really pretty and bold and colorful....full of lots of flowers.  The pattern was first introduced in 1933 and is based on the paintings of Harry Hammersly, one of Spode's famous Victorian artists who specialized in painting fruits and flowers.  I have recently gotten back into painting, and I can truly appreciate this artwork.  I have done a few paintings of flowers.  It is hard to capture their true beauty.  I really love this china.

As I said, I have been busy the last couple of weeks and I can think of 2 occasions in which I used this china.  I had my family over for Easter/Birthday lunch on Easter Sunday.  After church we gathered in my dining room for a meal to celebrate Easter and also to celebrate 3 of the birthdays we had.  Mom turned 88 the day after Easter.  The day after Mom turned 88, Jimmy turned 30.  And the day after Jimmy turned 30, Jim turned 60!  We truly had 4 days in a row to celebrate.  I knew with everyone's crazy work schedules we would have to make it a joint celebration on that Easter Sunday.  We had a birthday cake shaped and decorated like an Easter egg.  Although we let Mom blow out the candles, we sang 'Happy Birthday to Mom, Jimmy, Jim....Happy Birthday to you!'  It was a mouthful, but the point was made.

The table looked nice set with Mom's china and silver.  I also added a potted tulip (pink) to the center of the table for our centerpiece.  I stuck it in the Waterford Punch Bowl that was Mom's that I keep on the center of my dining room table.  It actually turned out to look pretty cool.  Mom oohed and ahhed about it a lot.  That's good, because the potted tulip was her birthday gift.  She dares me to buy her anything, but I usually know what I can 'get away with.'  The tulips were one of those things.  Mom's loves tulips.  They are definitely her favorite and have been as long as I can remember.  Martha and I used to use tulips as centerpieces for birthday luncheons we had for Mom. 

I think the combination of being surrounded by all her 'good stuff,' her family and some good food, Mom had a great Easter/Birthday!  I am sure in the future when I set my table for Easter lunch with those same dishes, I will probably think back to this Easter 2013.





I used these same dishes later that same week.  It was my turn to host my Friday morning bridge group.  I love this group.  Each woman in it is near and dear to my heart.  If ever I have to miss our time together I am so disappointed.  I have always heard that laughter is the best medicine and that it is good for your heart and all those wonderful things.  Well, should that truly be the case, these women are my life-savers.  Our hearts should all be strong and healthy from all the laughing we do.  Sometimes we laugh and giggle over the silliest things.  Aside from the laughter, we do all really love to play bridge.  We enjoy the game very much.  We play 20 hands each time we meet.  We also eat brunch and we share stories, advice and a host of other things.  And amid all that, we laugh.  We all agree that if we didn't play bridge we would never know which stores had the best sales, who the best plumber was, or which art gallery was having a good show.  I get so many tidbits of good information from this group.

We always try out new recipes on each other.  We call this group the guinea pig group.  Who else can you try out recipes on but good friends?  I served Eggs Benedict Casserole, Grits and Corn Casserole, Strawmellow Delight Salad, fresh strawberry mini-muffins, cinnamon pinwheels and pecan coffee cake......all on Mom's beautiful china.  (And with her silver too!)  I thought of Mom when I pulled it out and I thought of how she always loves it when I play bridge.  It makes her happy knowing I am with my friends and laughing and enjoying myself.  She is really sweet like that.

My china is kept in the corner cupboard in my dining room.  I picked this china out when I was 19 years old....registering at Gilliat's for my wedding registry!  I loved it then and I still love it today.  It is simple and elegant and has touches of pink among the beige and gold.  My china is delicate bone china from Lenox.  The pattern is Castle Garden.  (I just love the name of the pattern!)  My research led me to discover that Walter Scott Lenox started the company in 1889.  He combined his talent for drawing and his fascination with clay as a basis for his products.  Lenox is now "among the world's oldest and most respected names in fine tableware."  I found that my particular pattern was introduced in 1973 and discontinued in 1993.  I got married in 1976, so at that time it was probably a popular pattern.

I don't use it very often because it isn't dishwasher safe and I know it is not often the appropriate dinnerware for the types of gatherings we have around here.  I try to hear Erma Bombeck whispering in my ear as I carefully pull out my china.  Erma Bombeck was a believer in using what you have and living life to the fullest.  You never know what tomorrow will bring. 

I do use my china when I host a nice luncheon or on Thanksgiving.  I love to set a nice Thanksgiving table and I love to use my china.  When I use this china I realize the significance of how I acquired it....as wedding presents!  I know that it is not a necessity, but I sure do love to look at it in my corner cupboard.  It is almost like an accessory.  I don't find it excessive at all.  I grew up in the South and it was just part of my heritage and culture to have fine china and silver and to choose a pattern when you were getting married.  People all had a set of everyday dishes and then there was their 'good stuff.'  It is elegant and fine and I like to dine like that once in a while.  It feels good.  It takes me back to a time and place.  I like what it feels like and what it represents.  Young people today don't usually pick out fine china and silver.  I can understand that from a practical standpoint, but it is sort of sad that it seems to be something that is a dying tradition.  Madeline inherited Jessie's silver and her china.  I am glad for her that she will have it.  It may not be her style and taste, but I know she will appreciate it.  I hope she gets the same 'feel' as I do when I pull my china out of the cupboard and start setting the table.  I love the way the table looks when all these beautiful things are upon it.  It makes me happy.



I guess one day Madeline will not only have Jessie's china and silver, but she will also have her Grandma's china and silver and her mom's china and silver!  My silver was my Aunt Madeline's.  I know that my Madeline knows and appreciates the significance of family heirlooms and the importance of maintaining them and the heritage and traditions they represent.

A meal shared with family and friends is a wonderful experience.  It is so much more than just the breaking of bread.  It is a celebration of a holiday or a life.  It is simply together time.  It is a time to socialize and veer from the everyday routine.  It is a time to talk and to laugh.  It is a time to overeat and it is a time to experiment with new recipes and try new foods.  This can be a meal served on paper plates, plastic plates, everyday plates or even the good stuff.

And memories are made of this.



The Same Only Different

I was emptying my dishwasher the other day and thoughts of Martha popped in my head.  That is not unusual because I can be doing all sorts of ridiculous or mundane things and I think of her.  I am happy to say that now many of those thoughts make me smile.  Not always.  Sometimes I burst into tears and sometimes this feeling comes over me that I just can't shake. 
The dishwasher thoughts did, however, make me smile. 

As I was emptying my dishwasher and having to dry the coffee cups with a towel (which maddens me....dishwashers should leave your dishes dry), I smiled thinking about Martha.  I often shared hosting duties with her for various birthday dinners, luncheons, or parties.  We held these at her house because my house, of course, is 700 miles away from Shelby!  I became pretty proficient in her kitchen just because of the frequency of working in it. 
I remember (more than once) emptying her dishwasher.  I would pull out the top rack like I mindlessly do at home and if Martha would see me start out this way she would tell me to do the bottom rack first....because the cups on the top rack weren't usually dry and they dripped onto the bottom rack.  This is perfectly logical and makes sense in every way, yet I can't seem to change my old habits of emptying the top rack first!  So, often I smile and think about Martha as I am drying off the dishes and cursing my dishwasher for failing me with the dry cycle.
This simple dishwasher emptying moment left my head spinning with so many thoughts of Martha.  After some alone time in my kitchen first laughing then crying, I decided that I needed to devote some of my blogs to Martha.  It would take a multitude of posts to cover all the memories I have of her, but this particular one is about how much the same Martha and I were and yet how many things about us were different.  In many ways we were polar opposites.  After all, we emptied our dishwashers in opposite ways!

Speaking of dishwashers, I always loaded mine (usually haphazardly) with the silverware handles down in the washer basket.  Again, Martha noticed me doing this at her house and she told me I should put the handles facing up because then when you unloaded it, you would grab the handles to put them away and not the part that actually touched your food.  Again, this made perfectly good sense to me and Martha convinced me to change my evil ways!  I now always load my silverware handles up....and I often think of my sister as I do so.
Martha also was particular as to how to put the silverware in the drawers.  While I do use a proper silverware divider in my drawer and I do put the silverware in the correct alloted spots, I just put them in there.  Martha put hers in that way but turned a certain amount of the forks and spoons one way and the other amount the opposite way.
Obviously Martha was much more fussy about the way dishes and silverware were supposed to be handled than I am!

When Martha and I worked together in the kitchen we each had our unofficially assigned jobs.  If anything needed cutting or chopped it was an unspoken rule that I would do it.  Martha hated knives and hated using them in the kitchen.  Me, I'll pick up and knife and start cutting and chopping at the drop of a hat!  I don't even always need a cutting board.  If I have a green pepper to chop or a carrot to peel and slice, I'll just stand over the sink and hold the vegetable in my hand and start cutting.  I got many laughs at Martha when she would attempt this.  She couldn't grasp the concept of holding a piece of food and just cutting it.  Always it was a production for her.  No matter if she had to cut one little thing or several things, she got out her cutting board.  She couldn't hold anything in her hand and cut it.
I always laughed at the way she handled a knife.  First of all, she didn't own any decent knives.  I bought her some one time and she never opened the package.  I am sure they looked too frighteningly sharp to her!  So, she cut EVERYTHING with a little puny steak knife.  Everything.  It's no wonder it took her a long time to cut up a simple onion!  She would always cut with the knife going away from her.  I mean, it wasn't necessarily the safest way, I just realized the wanted the knife as far away from her as she could get it.  Oftentimes she looked very awkward as she did her cutting and chopping.
One of the worst things about this is that Martha always wanted things chopped up small.  Thus, cutting was a huge production for her.  I just cut and chop according to the time allowed.  If it's nice and small that's great.  Big chunks, I can deal with that.  Uneven pieces....who cares?
Martha and I were definitely different when it came to using a knife in the kitchen.  It did work out, though, for knowing who was doing what to prepare a meal together!

I remember one of the last parties Martha and I hosted together was a birthday luncheon for Mom.  We invited a lot of friends....including our own friends who loved Mom as one of their friends too.  One dish we made was a chicken casserole.  When I make a chicken dish that uses cooked cut up chicken, I throw my chicken in a big pot of boiling water and cook it and then use that chicken to cut up for my recipe.  Martha was totally and completely grossed out by the idea of boiling chicken!  I told her I wouldn't do it that way if I were serving the chicken by itself, but I thought boiling it left the chicken juicier to use in a dish that required further cooking.  I asked her how she did it and she told me she marinated the chicken and cooked it in a marinade in the oven.  Again, this is a great idea and her chicken dishes were always great, but I am just too lazy to go to that trouble.  I say, just throw it in a pot and forget about it for a few minutes!

I think that I have come to the conclusion as I write this that Martha was just more particular than I am in the kitchen.  I am an absolute perfectionist about many things I do, but I think I maneuver my kitchen with speed and ease (and sometimes mess).  Perhaps that comes from being married at age 20 and raising 3 children.  It also comes from not going out to eat a whole lot and it comes from being a homebody to the shear joy of cooking.  I have logged a lot of hours in the kitchen.  My kids are all grown, but I still manage to spend a fair amount of time in my kitchen now.  I guess some things will never change.
I suppose because so much of life is centered around food and gatherings for friends and family, Martha and I spent a lot of time together in the kitchen.  I can think of many things that took place in the kitchen.  I can also remember some of our good talks and lots of laughs in the kitchen.  Cooking is something you can do and still engage in good conversation and pleasantries.  I miss sharing kitchen duties with my sister.

Still on that food issue, Martha and I had entirely different tastes....literally.  We didn't always like the same things, but some things we grew up eating together and we share that love for those particular comfort foods.  But as we grew older and no longer lived "at home," our tastes began to change.
When my dear friend, Susan turned 16, her Dad took us to Gastonia to the LobSteer Inn.  It was a special occasion and he insisted we order whatever we wanted.  Susan wanted a lobster tail, but I had never had one and was sort of leery of ordering the same thing.  Mr. Mabry insisted that I also order a lobster tail....and I did.....and things have never been the same!  I loved it and to this day, it is a very special treat for me.  That along with most shellfish.  I love shrimp, scallops, lobster, and crab.  I know Martha loved good fish and shrimp, but the rest of those things didn't appeal to her.

I never was a lover of red meat.  Mom alternated our Sunday dinners with fried chicken and roast beef.  I loved the fried chicken Sundays and Martha loved the roast beef Sundays!

One time when Mom and Dad were out of town on a business trip, we had a babysitter stay with us on Woodside Drive.  We had a sitter that we loved named Inez Morehead.  She was such a sweet lady.  As the date for Mom and Dad to leave drew near, Inez got sick and couldn't come.  But she would never leave my parents in a lurch so she said her sister, Lorraine, would be happy to do it.  That worked and my parents didn't have to stress about finding another sitter or cancelling their trip.  Lorraine came to stay with us and we quickly found out she was nothing like her sister!  She was truly a witch, if memory serves me correctly.  Of course, through the years Martha and I told and re-told the stories of Lorraine and I am sure her witchiness grew stronger with each re-telling.  One of the things we liked to tell about this experience was an example of Martha and me liking totally different foods.  Martha loved chicken noodle soup and I did not like it at all.  Likewise, I loved tomato soup and Martha couldn't stomach it.  Mom always let us each have the kind we liked.  She had no problem opening two different cans for us.  While Lorraine was staying with us, she said there was NO WAY she would open two cans and that Martha and I had to decide which one we were going to eat.  We explained to her fruitlessly that Mom always opened two cans to be sure that we ate well.  No amount of explaining, begging or crying seemed to help.  I honestly don't remember the outcome of that incident or what we actually ate for lunch that day.  If only Martha and I didn't have different tastes......

Dad occasionally took the family out for dinner on the weekends to Kelly's in Blacksburg, S.C.  It was a treat and a wonderful family outing.  When I would always order a hamburger, Martha would tease me and tell me I should order a steak....(after all, Daddy said we could)!  I never really liked to eat steak, so the yummy hamburgers were good enough for me.  I eat steak now, but the truth be known, I'll take a good juicy hamburger over the finest steak any day!

I always wanted lots of raw onion and French dressing on my salads...and throw in some feta or parmesan cheese.  Martha was more about mushrooms (yuck!), cheddar cheese and dressings other than French!

After I moved to Florida and came back to Shelby, I wanted to eat livermush and homegrown tomatoes and cucumbers.  I wanted to go out to eat at Shelby Cafe, Pizza Inn and Alston Bridges Barbecue.  Martha was a good sport because I know those were not the restaurants of her choice.  But I know she understood the sentiment of 'coming home again.'  I had to eat at the places that meant something to me when I was growing up.  I could eat some fried okra from Shelby Cafe right now.....or sausage pizza from the Pizza Inn buffet or a delicious chopped sandwich and hushpuppies from Alston's!  I guess my mouth will always water when I think of those foods.  I appreciate Martha's willingness to let me always get my 'fix' when I came to visit.  After all, I took her to places where she could eat fresh grouper every day when she would come to visit me in Florida!

Give me strong black coffee and not that stuff with creamer and Splenda in it!  Please leave the mushrooms out of anything I eat and make sure my red meat is cooked well....I don't like it 'mooing,' as we used to say Martha liked it. 
That makes me remember the time Mom and Dad took Martha and me to NYC.  Jim was willing and kind enough to stay home with Joseph and Jimmy who were 2 and 5 at the time.  It was hard for me to leave them, but I can say that it turned out to be a wonderful and memorable trip!  Martha and I had such a good time.
I remember dining in the Edwardian Room at the Plaza Hotel.  It was such an amazing experience.  It's funny how some dining experiences are unforgettable.  I remember that I ordered sole for dinner.  It is amazing that I can actually remember what I ate!  Martha ordered steak tartare and I was expecting to see a lovely filet mignon with some sort of sauce on it.  I knew Martha loved steak and I didn't know exactly what steak tartare was.  Lo and behold, when she was served, I was appalled and kept telling her how disgusting it was!  I couldn't imagine eating raw meat.  I still can't.  I guess Mom and Dad jumped on my bandwagon and poor Martha lost her appetite and wasn't able to eat much of her meal.  I feel badly that we ruined that dining experience for her, but I think it is something that we will always remember.  Through the years Martha often reminded me of how I ruined her appetite that night!

Martha and I may have had entirely different food tastes, but the memories that have been created by our moments filled with food are ever lasting and cherished.  I often pass by or go into a restaurant that is new or one I never got a chance to dine in with Martha and I let out a big sigh.   I feel like I am being cheated, but I am sure that Martha is dining wonderfully in heaven.  And I am sure nobody is commenting on the rareness of her steak or the fact that it is smothered in mushrooms. Have some cream and sweetener with that coffee and enjoy.  Bon Apetit!

Martha and I were alike in that we shared a love of music, books, theater and art.  I feel blessed that we both had these interests and that we were always exposed to the arts.
Martha and I shared similar tastes in music, but there were some things that we would go back and forth on and tease each other about.  I truly, however, credit my sister for a lot of my music taste.  She played records all the time and that love for music passed down to me.  She was 4 school grades ahead of me and that was just enough to make her seem a lot older.  I was on the cusp of the rock era and most of the music I love is 70's music.  I spent all of my high school and college years in the 70's.  Martha, however, started loving music in the 60's so I was exposed to that.  I can't hear a song by The Association without thinking of Martha.  She introduced me to Van Morrison and a host of other artists that I still love today.
When Martha had Porter, her world changed.  It changed in so many amazing ways and I cannot look at Porter without thinking of the shear joy he brought to my sister.  Porter gave me a plaque for Christmas that says:  "Only an Aunt can love you like a Mother, keep secrets like a Sister, and share love like a Friend."  I choked back the tears when I opened it because he will never know what that means to me.  I had given my dear Aunt Jessie a blanket that had that very same sentiment embroidered on it.  It is on my bed right now.  I know how I felt about her when I gave it to her, so I thought if Porter feels that way about me, then I feel very loved and very privileged.  I will never take the place of Porter's Mom, but I love that he and I will always have her as our connection to one another.
But back to Porter and the whole music thing.  Porter LOVED country music when he was little.  He loved it obssessively and obnoxiously!  Martha had never liked country music even a little bit until this came about with Porter.  How he got on that jag I will never know!  Anyway, Martha, being the good mother that she was, let Porter listen to country music whenever they got in the car.  I hated it and teased her about it unmercifully.  In defense of Porter she would always tell me it sort of 'grew on you.'  I laughed it off, but I am sure she is laughing down at me now if she could see me zipping down the road with my sunroof open, windows rolled down and country music blaring!  Yes, Martha, it does sort of 'grow on you.'  It just took me awhile to realize that.

On the other hand, I guess I did a similar thing with Madeline.  The year that Clay Aiken was on American Idol, Madeline and I became huge fans.  We listened to him, went all over the place to his concerts, and just were obnoxious fans!  I don't think about Clay much any more, but if I ever hear one of his songs I get a little 'pang.'  I do think he has a wonderful voice and I will always think that.  Martha used to tease me about that too.  She would say things about it in front of Madeline, but not too often because she knew how much Madeline was in love with him!  Different strokes for different folks.....or I should say, different tunes.

Martha and I spent a lot of hours just talking.  We never got tired of sitting and talking. In her living room.  In my den.  On my lanai.  On the balcony of her Myrtle Beach condo.  In the car or on a plane.  On the phone.  We never were at a loss for words and we never ran out of subject matter to talk about.  We loved to talk about what new music we listened to and what books we were reading and what shows we had seen.  We loved to talk about what museums and galleries we had been to and what pieces of art we liked.  We definitely shared a love of all of these things, even if our tastes were different.

We liked to read a lot of the same books, but we differed on a lot of books.  Growing up I loved the 'Madeline' books, 'The Boxcar Children', biographies about nurses and books about cats.  Martha loved Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys.  She never tired of mysteries and read them all her life.  I read a good mystery on occasion, but that is not my 'thing.'  Martha never cared for romance novels, and I only read them occasionally, but I do love a well-written romance novel.  Neither of us cared to waste our precious reading time on a book that wasn't 'good.'  I read every word of the Mitford series and Martha was more into this series of books by Bailey White, one of which was "Mama Makes Up Her Mind."  I loved "Water for Elephants," "The Kite Runner," and "Under the Tuscan Sun."  Martha didn't care for those, but she loved so many other books that I didn't even want to read. 
I would say that our passion for reading was equally shared, but our types of books maybe not.  We did pass a lot of books back and forth throughout the years, and it was great when we read one that we both liked.  We loved to discuss those books.
We also spent many hours discussing the greatest book of all.  Our Bible discussions could last way into the night.  I love having passionate and intelligent conversations about interesting things with someone who equally loves to have these discussions.  I have a list of books I would like to tell Martha about now.  I know which ones she would like and which ones she wouldn't.  One day I hope to have some more deep discussions with Martha.  I do miss them.

I truly believe one of our favorite things to talk about and to do was theater.  We loved to go to shows together and we saw so many good ones.  I remember the night we went to see "Mama Mia" in Charlotte.  I don't think either of us really knew much about it and it was one of those wonderfully pleasant surprises.  We were dancing in our seats and we smiled the whole night.  This was very cool because Martha always said she didn't like musicals.  I am a sucker for a good musical.  Martha felt like it was so unrealistic to be talking about something and suddenly break into song!  I guess logically she is right, but I never viewed it that way.  I think that as musicals became more popular and more sophisticated and spectacular Martha grew to love and appreciate them too.  We surely had some great memories centered around theater....musicals or straight comedies and dramas.  We took Madeline and Porter to see "The Miracle Worker" with Hillary Swank.  We sat on the second row and all of our mouths were agape the whole time.  It was an amazing production.

I actually have spent quite a bit of time involved in theater.  While Martha said she could never see herself onstage, she admired and appreciated what I did.  She supported me in every way and came to productions when she could.  She loved hearing all about what I was doing in the theater.  I know she would be bursting at the seams with pride if she could see Porter on stage!  He caught the theater bug like I did in high school.

Martha and I loved seeing "Art."  It was genius, in my opinion.  Four grown men spent an entire play discussing the merits, or lack thereof, of a piece of art.  It was basically a huge white canvas!  The interchanges between these men were brilliant.  It was a true commentary on beauty being in the eyes of the beholder and art meaning different things to different people.  Martha and I both loved that show.

Speaking of art, that is something both Martha and I loved and appreciated.  Martha had quite a collection of amazing artwork in her home.  She grew to love going to galleries and she loved to buy interesting pieces.  I appreciate everything she collected, but there are only a few pieces in her house that I always wanted for myself!  They are probably not things that other people would even notice or comment on, but they spoke to me.  One is a print of two boys on a putting green.  When she bought the picture I was freaking out!  I totally "saw" the picture as Jimmy and Joseph.  I still think it looks so much like them and I smile when I look at it.  Another piece Martha had is a ballerina in front of a window.  It is meaningful to me in more ways than one.  I simply love the original painting, and it was painted by Ginger Spangler, one of Martha's friends and a talented Cleveland County artist.  Madeline is a dancer and I love anything that has to do with dance.  Another of Ginger's pieces that is totally different (Ginger is an amazing artists and does lots of different kinds of work) is a wooden box with a glass front and a wooden carved man on the outside of the glass.  It is etched with a clever saying referring that he dared to be different.  I absolutely love it and I see it as such a "Martha piece."  She loved unique art and I think this is one of those pieces.  And Martha had a small, dark painting in her dining room of a little girl.  I remember when she got it I told her I wanted it!  She laughed and later told me she always thought of me when she looked at it.
Martha and Bob had a huge collection of Bob Timberlake pictures.  I love them and I think that Martha loved them because Bob loved them!  They had them all over the wall in their den.  They looked great there.
Martha had some exquisite pieces of art throughout her home.  I loved and appreciated them all even though many of them would not be pieces I would have wanted for my own home.

I have always loved crafting and creating artwork.  I have recently gotten back into painting and I have gone about it rather obssessively. 
Martha always called me if she had to make something for Porter's school or come up with a craft for church or a birthday party.  She always said she had no talent for creating things and that I got all of it.  She was really wrong about that.  I think our creative talents just were simply in different areas.  I can think of a multitude of creations in which she excelled.  Just walk into her home.  It was always impeccably decorated and creative.  I think making crafts and coming up with ideas for birthday parties is just something I enjoy.  You have to enjoy something in order to want to do it all the time.

Martha and I both shared a love and compassion for animals.  We would agree that neither of us ever had the desire to have a hamster or any such creature as that as a pet, however!  Martha was more of a dog person and I am more of a cat person.  I loved her dogs and she loved my cats.  Simple as that.
Martha and I loved to shop together.  While she looked for fashion and the latest styles, I was shopping for tee shirts and flip flops.  Our differences never stopped us from enjoying a day at the mall!

Martha and I always got along.  We never fought as kids.  We would tell our friends how we never argued or disagreed and they were always amazed by that.  But it is the truth.  In fact, I am sure Martha was one of the best big sisters in the world.  She let me tag along with her friends to the movies and when they all sat around in her room listening to records and talking about boys, she let me sit on the floor and listen!  She never shooed me away or called me names.  I always looked up to her.  When we were married adults, I still looked up to her as my big sister.  It seemed funny to me when she got pregnant with Porter she called me all the time to ask questions about pregnancy and after he was born the phone calls continued to discuss babies!  It seemed funny that my big sister was seeking out advice from ME. 
Our few disagreements throughout our adult life were never very big and they certainly were never long lasting.  I really cherish the wonderful relationship that we shared.

Thinking about sister relationships led me to thinking about my boys.  They have a similar type relationship that Martha and I had.  They are so different in so many ways....interests, fashion, personality, food preferences and so many other things.  Yet Jimmy and Joseph never fought when they were little and they don't fight now.  I know they have probably had some disagreements.  But the fact remains that they are brothers and they respect and love one another.  They always make up after a fight or argument and they keep in touch with each other.  I have always been touched by their loyalty.  Neither one ever wants to "rat out" the other one!  I totally respect and admire that about them. 
They are definitely the same only different, just like Martha and me.

I know that family ties are extremely important to me.  I am thankful for the upbringing I had that made creating these ties so easy.  I feel blessed to have not only had two wonderful parents, but I am sure I could not have had a better sister.  I always felt loved and respected by Martha and I pray that she felt the same way about me.  I miss her so much and some days it still seems almost too difficult to even get out of bed but I just try to think of all the GOOD things about my relationship with Martha instead of the fact that all of those things are just memories and no more new memories can be created.  I suppose that makes the memories I have more precious than ever.
I am sad and angry that Martha won't be here to see Madeline get married.  Of all the people I can think of, Martha would have enjoyed hearing about the wedding plans more than anyone else.  She would have wanted to host a party (or two) and she would have loved every moment of it.  I do feel cheated.
I also face some parts of my future with fear.  I had planned to have Martha around with me for so many things.  It is scary to know I will be facing them without her. 
I am big on preaching to my family about God's timing.  I have to remind myself of that and realize that what has happened and what will happen is truly out of my hands and out of my realm of understanding.  I am trying to grasp that and to trust and move forward.  This has been one difficult journey to travel.  Losing Martha has been so much harder than I would have imagined.

Cats or dogs?  Beef or chicken?  Comedy or drama? Arts or crafts?  Handles up or handles down?  Boil or bake?  On stage or in the audience?  Fiction or nonfiction?
Those things are all questionable and simply a matter of taste or preference.  What is undeniable is the love of family and the bond of sisters.  What isn't to be questioned is the ease and comfort that is found when you are with someone so special to your heart. 
And memories are made of this.

We shared many secrets,

the same Mom and Dad.

We shared lots of good times,

Don't think of the bad.

Our memories we'll cherish,

with love without end.

I'm glad you're my sister....

I'm glad you're my friend.