A Lifetime of Memories

For several months I have been thinking about a road trip that Jim, Madeline and I made to Southport, North Carolina to attend the wedding of Lindsey Fitzpatrick.  Lindsey is the daughter of Jim's brother, Tommy and his wife, Linda.  We are close to them and Lindsey and Madeline are the closet in age of any of Madeline's other cousins.  Madeline and Lindsey are good friends, and despite the fact that Eric couldn't go, Madeline didn't hesitate.  It was a fun Throw Back road trip.....We hadn't made one like this in years.  We did not have a lot of time, so it was a quick trip.  Our hours in the car practically equaled the hours we were actually in Southport.  We took advantage of the time and did a lot of talking and a lot of listening....to one another and to the radio.

Jim has never been much of a radio listener.  That is, until he got Sirius radio and began listening to 60's on 6 with Phlash Phelps.  It has become a joke around here because Jim comes home every day (or calls me or texts me) with some words of wisdom, bit of trivia, or better yet......himself on the radio as a caller.....a Phlash Phan!  Anyway, Jim was delighted on this nearly 12 hour drive to have his two favorite girls captive to listen to his favorite DJ on his favorite radio station.  I tease him that I have never known anyone who turns DOWN the music and turns UP the DJ talk!  Madeline and I did become interested as we already knew about the 'regular' callers.....Billy Quinn, some funny old lady, a southern guy that truly does sound just like our friend from NC, Frankie Howell.  We loved hearing Jim's commentary before and after the callers and after Phlash shared a bit of trivia about a place he had traveled.  When Jim gets excited about something, it is really cute!  I looked over my shoulder at Madeline in the backseat often to smile, wink or snicker about something Jim was getting all excited about!  It tickled us when a wonderful song was ending and we were singing along (Madeline really loves Oldies) and Jim would 'shsh' us so we could hear what Phlash had to say!
I mention all this to set up what led me into some serious and interesting thoughts.

Even though Jim turned the music down after the DJ talked, I often turned it back up.  There were some wonderful old songs.  Jim and I would either blurt out the year we thought the song was popular or we would state where we were and what we were doing when we remember the song.  So many comments like "teen club in 8th grade" or "CYO dance in High School."  I often mentioned people that popped in my head when I heard a song:  my sister, Susan Mabry, Terri, Sally, Tommy Propst, etc....It is amazing how a song can truly take you back to a time and place.  Madeline couldn't place herself in those times, but she simply enjoyed singing along and she loved hearing Jim and me talk and reminisce.  Jim is 3 years older than I am, so most of those oldies had me saying 'Junior High' and Jim saying 'High School'.  I did have a sister who was 4 school grades ahead of me, so I knew a lot of the music simply from hearing her play it.  Jim had older siblings too, and he admitted to knowing a lot of the music because of them.

At one point, Phlash played the Red Skelton version of "The Pledge of Allegiance."  I had heard it before, but sitting in a car as a totally captive audience, the three of us listened respectfully to every word and really took it all in.  It mixes emotions such as Patriotism, nostalgia and remembrance.  It is a wonderful recording and is worth Googling or searching You Tube to hear it.

After that Red Skelton piece, I remember saying (because at that point we were many hours into our drive) "you really do cram a lot into a lifetime."  I said this because I realized that for hours this song or that song or some bit of trivia or travel information sent us all into stories of our own, memories, laughter and a few tears.  I realized that we had done so much telling stories that began with "I remember...." as soon as we heard a particular song or realized what year it was from.  It was a beautiful summer day and I gazed out of the window often as I listened to some song as I sang along softly.
At one point earlier, I was gazing out the window commenting on the clouds (I have a 'thing' about clouds), and I started giggling.  I couldn't stop.  When Madeline asked me what I was giggling about, I told her that I realized that my life is sort of like that of a cat.  (Everyone knows how I feel about cats!)  I love to gaze out the window, stare at the clouds, and spend long periods being quiet and pensive.  I have been teased often enough about how I love to sit outside and watch the butterflies and the birds.  I have 3 birdfeeders in my yard and plants that attract butterflies.  I get excited when I see a bird or butterfly and I have to comment about it.   One of the highlights of swimming in my pool all summer is watching the butterflies.  When I am in the pool  I am at more of an eye level with the butterflies.  They are so beautiful.
So, I was thinking about the birds, butterflies, clouds, wonderful music, memories and the passage of time.  Despite my semblance to a cat, I realized that you really do cram a lot into a lifetime.
I find this concept exhilarating.  I also find it interesting that Jim finds it depressing.  I guess it's the glass half full/half empty thing.  I have always been a glass half full person.  I like that I can think back, look at old pictures and talk about memories and see that my life has been blessed and full.  Jim thinks of the limitations and what he still has left on his bucket list.  There is nothing wrong with that.  I know that I often think about that proverbial list and wonder whether I'll cross this or that off of it.  In reality, I know that some things will never be crossed off.  But I'm okay with that.  I may or may not sit on the banks of the Seine sipping some delicious red wine and eating cheese and bread and thinking "oh my.  I'm in Paris!"  But if I never do, I know it is in my brain....the pictures, the knowledge through research, the books I have read.  Yes, I want to go to Paris, but if I never do, I will know that my desire to go there is only through a lifetime love affair with the whole thing....the art, the culture, the ballet, the bread, the cheese, the wine, the museums, the city of lights, the Eiffel Tower.......
I feel blessed that I even know enough to WANT to go there!  I know it because I have been blessed with the gifts of knowledge, research, reading and studying.  I do cover my ears when everyone tries to dissuade me by telling me that the French don't like American tourists.  Who cares?  If I am standing on the banks of the Seine, gazing at a lit Eiffel Tower, I will know that it doesn't really matter.  I am, indeed, marking something off my Bucket List!
(but I digress....)

I felt compelled to write this blog now, even though our trip to Southport was in July of 2014.  I have been working on a huge scrapbook for my Mom.....for her 90th birthday next week.  That has REALLY sparked the idea of what you cram into a lifetime.  I have been looking at photos that are at least 80+ years old up to photos that are only weeks old.  Even though most of us say 'time flies,' when you look at all these photos, time can stand still.  I can see what 90 years of life encompasses and how many people are touched along the way.  That is why I am not depressed when I look back and reminisce.  Yes, I may have been more blonde than grey.  I may have had a tiny skinny belted waist instead of a body clad in a loosely fitting blouse.  I may have looked tanned and thin and beautiful.  But the truth of the matter is, yes I was!  And yes I still am....me.  I am me that has a lifetime of lovely memories and the rest of a lifetime of creating even more memories!  My glass will always be half full.

In my life I have given birth to 3 wonderful children and I have attended the funerals of my wonderful Daddy and my sweet sister.  I cried at my Aunt Jessie's funeral and I watched my friends Micki and Chrystal literally crumple down the aisle to the front pew of their much too young father's funeral.   I have experienced puppy love, crushes, what I thought was true love.....until I really found the love of my life.  I have experienced the weddings of friends, friends' children, my children, my sister, my cousins, and of course my own....nearly 39 years ago.  I have traveled and I have dreamed of travel that I hope to experience in this lifetime.  I have dreamed of travel that I probably will never physically make, but can make by reading, researching and listening to the stories of those who have traveled to those places.  I have cooked and cleaned and moved and decorated.  I have experienced the trials and tribulations of being a 'housewife' and a mother.  I have taught young people how to conjugate a verb and how to think outside the box.  I have painted and drawn and written and colored and scrapbooked and made crafts to the joy and thrill of my very soul!  I put my brain into creative overload, as I like to call it, and although it often results in lack of sleep and a messy house at times, it finds me in the middle of My Best Self.
In my life I have read more books than I can imagine.  I often verbalize that I wish I had kept a log of all the books I have read.  I am thankful to God, to my teachers, to my own burning desire to learn and experience for the love and passion I have for reading.  I have often said to my kids that the moment I learned to read words on a page until the present, I have had at least one book marked with my 'place' and another book 'on deck' to pick up the minute the current book is finished.  I have a true love/hate affair with my books.  I find a book that makes me want to jump out of bed, pour a cup of coffee and dig in because I cannot wait to find out what happens.  Then......I finish the book and I am so sad because it is over.  This bears no further explanation because anyone who is an avid reader knows what I am talking about.  I love that God has allowed me to cram so many wonderful books into my lifetime.  I hope to cram as many more into the life that I have left in me.

Although I have not picked wildflowers in Paris nor have I trekked along the trails of the wine country in Northern California, I have experienced a lot of travel in my life.  I love hearing a song or a phrase or about a certain food that sparks a memory of a time and place that was not my home, but rather a place I was blessed to visit.  I went to Disney World the first year it was open with my Mom, Dad, and sister.  Little did I realize at the time that it was truly an historical moment.  Who would have thought Mickey Mouse would attract so many tourists from all over the globe?!  I guess the Parisians wonder why anyone would want to travel across the ocean to look at a monument in the middle of their bustling city.
I have been on a cruise to the Caribbean and experienced a lovely 'family' show on the front row with my father....mom and sister....where the acts between the musical numbers consisted of topless dancers.  I know my father got easily embarrassed, but his face turned a shade of red that I didn't even know was in the spectrum!
I have experienced my husband pulled on stage in Nassau by a beautiful native dancer.  If anyone knows Jim Fitzpatrick, well.....you know how monumental this was!
I walked into a hotel room in Puerto Rico that literally took my breath away when I saw the view from our window.
I gazed across the Grand Canyon with my hubby and three children.  Anyone who has ever done this knows what it is like to be speechless and in awe.  God's hand was truly in the midst of that phenomenon!
I have shopped at the Straw Market in Nassau, Bahamas and the Straw Market in Charleston, SC.  I have eaten Shrimp and Grits (oh law!) in South Carolina and I have licked the barbecue sauce off my fingers after a delicious rack of ribs at BB King's in Memphis.
I have toured Graceland and drooled over the pictures of a young and handsome Elvis.  I have petted the 6 toed Hemingway cats in Key West and stared at the typewriter that pecked out the words of "The Old Man and the Sea."  I have been to Mt. Vernon and Monticello.  I have seen what Christmas was like in The Biltmore House  where the rich Vanderbilts lived and I have seen the prison cells at Fort Desoto and in St. Augustine.
I have drunk from the Fountain of Youth and I have prayed in St. Patrick's Cathedral.
I have watched my daughter perform on the same stage where I watched "Wicked" and "Edward Scissorhands." I later watched my daughter (on that same stage) accept her diploma with honors as she graduated from UArts with a BFA in Modern Dance Performance.
I viewed a foggy and rainy Clearwater Beach in a different light when I sat on the balcony of a hotel room....booked and paid for by my newly married daughter.....as she served me homemade appetizers, wine in hand decorated glasses, and blessed me with flowers and gifts as she kidnapped me for a night to celebrate my birthday and Mother's Day.  My heart overflows as I think of it.
I have ridden a train in Connecticut gazing at the beautiful Fall foliage and I have ridden a pontoon boat on Crystal River watching manatees in the Springtime.
I have had my breath taken away standing on the bridge at the Hoover Dam and I have had my eyes widened by the lights on the Vegas Strip.
I have had heart palpitations sitting in a theater on Broadway waiting for the curtain to rise on countless occasions.
I have eaten the best pizza in the world in New Jersey and I have eaten the best Barbecue in the world in Shelby, NC.
I have had the most elegant and special meal in my life at the Beacon in NYC.
I have dined at the Edwardian Room in The Plaza in NY and I have walked the streets of Broadway arm in arm with my Daddy to go see "La Cage Aux Folles."  (This was another time my Dad blushed uncontrollably!)
I have enjoyed Disney World, Epcot, Busch Gardens, Sea World, Universal Studios, Carowinds, Sesame Place and MGM Grand with my kids.  Jimmy and Joe patiently waited in line for 45 minutes for the Dumbo ride with their little sister because of nothing less than love, and Madeline and I years later enjoyed crepes and white wine at a lovely French Café at Epcot.  We, in fact, did not miss a country as we walked around the entire place.  Norway ride.....dinner in Mexico, coffee in Spain, buying Christmas ornaments in Germany.....ah....
Shamu splashed us so much that it made Madeline almost cry (with delight.....and cold!) 
Universal Studios Orlando.  Universal Studios Hollywood.  So different.  Dinner at  BeniHana at the Hollywood Hilton...priceless.
Paying less for adults than children at Sesame Place in Pennsylvania so cool....only place that recognized that the park was for the kids....not the parents!
Lots can be crammed into a lifetime.

I have driven a golf cart all over Riverbend Golf Course as my Daddy's chauffeur as he hacked his way around 18 holes telling me I was his good luck charm.  I played golf at The Dunes in Myrtle Beach with my husband for our 10th anniversary.  It was wonderful until my ball encountered an alligator.  I then became the golf cart chauffeur and no longer a golfer.
I sat in Macaroni Grill opposite my older sister as she timidly told me she was pregnant!  She was terrified and thrilled beyond belief and it was so weird for me to see my stronger older sister this way....after all, I had 3 children and one of them was already a high-schooler. (little did she know, the baby part is the easiest part!  Just wait.....)
I have made wonderful friends....I have kept friends.....I have lost friends and I continue to make new friends.  I made a little plaque for some of my friends one Christmas that said "Friends are our chosen family."  I believe that like I still believe in Santa Claus (for real) and the magic of a full moon on a warm summer night!  My friends are my lifelines and I thank God for them every day.
I have eaten many foods in restaurants and I have cooked many foods for myself, my family and others.  I find joy in cooking.  I find joy in dining.  Jim and I will die on our quest for the restaurant with the best calamari.  It's a mission for us.  So far, Island Way Grill wins!

I have turned over in a snowmobile in Park City Utah and I have experienced a lovely meal in Robert Redford's restaurant in the same town.  I have had my hand slammed in the door of the Tilt A Whirl at the Cleveland County Fair by Buddy Hobbs and have the scar to prove it!
I have eaten the best vinegar fries at the Cleveland County Fair.....and in the latter years done so with two of the bestest friends I could ask for....Sally and Carol!
I have knelt at the altar at Central United Methodist Church in Shelby, NC and I have lit a Unity Candle at my daughter's wedding at Heritage United Methodist Church in Clearwater.  I have attended a Moravian Love Feast on a below freezing evening in Raleigh, NC on Christmas Eve and I have attended a small cinder block Pentecostal Church in Shelby as a young teen.  I have ministered to young campers as a counselor at The NC Baptist Assembly in Southport.
I have sat on the balcony of my sister's condo in North Myrtle Beach overlooking the ocean and gazing at the stars as we reminisced, laughed and cried and told each other secrets that now exist only in my mind and in heaven with my sister.  What I wouldn't give for another of those evenings.....
I have hunted for seashells at Honeymoon Island and I have prayed at sunrise on the wall of Fort Caswell in Southport, NC.
I have laid on the hood of my parents' car in the driveway on Woodside Drive waiting for the bats to swoop down near my white shirt as I pretended to be brave in case my neighbor, Steve Rossi, might see me and take notice of me.  (Yes, there was a bit of a crush there).  I have gone out on my driveway on Hyde Park Place and lighted sparklers and watched my kids and the neighbors kids shoot fireworks as my husband slept.  Yes, he would have disapproved  and I was the 'cool Mom' so I let it happen with a promise of 'don't tell dad.'
I have raised beagles, cats and a mutt dog named Bogie.  I have loved them all and realized what comfort there can be in being a pet owner.  I really should say that there is comfort in being owned by a pet.
I have driven into a driveway that has literally been blown away by a tornado during a blackout in a town and realized the mighty power of nature.
I have seen Homestead, FL just months after Hurricane Andrew and I have seen Biloxi, MS not long after Katrina.  I sat nursing my 3 month old baby as I watched a transformer blow in my front yard at 3 o'clock in the morning while the rest of my family slept.  I remember sneaking downstairs to watch the TV try to decide if I needed to wake them up.  Surprised was I to find that Hurricane Hugo decided to turn and hit in central Carolina in a place where no hurricane had ever been. I  am humbled by these remembrances and will never take for granted the forces of nature.

I have walked along the ruins of Ground Zero almost afraid to speak as not to disturb the reverence.  I have visited Ellis Island and read the stories of those immigrants who braved  to cross the ocean to seek refuge there.  I have watched "The Boy in the Striped Pajamas" and I have read "Sarah's Key."  I was given a new insight into the Holocaust and I have wondered why a man could be so evil as Adolph Hitler.
I have visited many museums and I have been held captive by the works by so many talents.  I know that God's hand was reaching down and touching them.  How can such beauty and excellence exist otherwise?
I have experienced holidays with family.  I don't know how anyone cannot feel blessed and close to God when they look around the room, across the dining room table, in the living room amongst the wrapping paper or in a restaurant when the waiter brings out the cake and sings happy birthday to the honoree.  Celebrations are so special....especially milestone celebrations. Oh wait.  Any celebration is a milestone.  I truly look forward to next week to celebrate Mom's 90th.

I have experienced the love of a sister.  I remember the time my parents went away for a week on a business trip.  They always hired this lovely woman named Inez Morehead.  Martha and I loved her like a Grandma.  She was sweet and jolly and we managed to survive the times without our parents (which were few and far between) with ease when we had Inez.  Well, the time my parents had plans to leave town and had Inez all lined up, they were thrown a curve ball!  Inez got really sick and couldn't come, so rather than leave my parents in a bind, she employed her sister, Lorraine, to step in.  My parents needed to go on this trip and knowing how trustworthy Inez was, they assumed Lorraine would have been likewise.  NOT!  Lorraine was a terror...to Martha and me, at any rate.  The stories that arise because of her require a whole other blog post.  I mention it because I wanted to say that during that Lorraine time, I realized that I had the best most awesome sister in the world!  She totally stood up for me and was there to explain whatever  needed to be explained because she truly understood me.  Sisters rock!

I have caught lightening bugs in a jar and poked holes in the lid so that they would live.  I have waded in the creek in my yard and lifted rocks to look for salamanders.  I have fished off my Uncle Paul's pier at Lake Norman and I have been thrown in the water, skis put on my feet, a rope secured in my hand and away I go....up on skis at age 8!  Thanks Uncle Paul!
I have played cards and Scrabble at the lake with my Aunt Margaret.  I watched my sister jump off the boathouse at Lake Lure when we would go there with the Rogers family.
I have cruised Lake Lure on a boat and fed the ducks, visited the Dirty Dancing site, and watched the fireworks on the fourth of July.
I have been kissed on the cheek by Payne Stewart (yes ladies, be jealous) at the Heritage Golf Classic at Hilton Head.  I have sat in on a session of Congress thanks to Basil Whitener of NC and my Daddy.  I have been with my sister when she literally fainted in THE White House and I have flirted with the wait staff with my sister on a cruise ship.
I have seen "Rent" 11 times, "Phantom of the Opera" 9 times and "Les Miserables" several times.  I have played Miss Willie in "The Curious Savage" and I have played Juliet in "When Shakespeare's Ladies Meet."  I have played many other roles, painted sets, and sought out props.  I have enjoyed theater as a performer, a backstage person, a teacher and an observer.  I love theater so much.

I remember sitting in the auditorium at Marion School in Shelby.  It was awards day for the 5th grade.  We knew Joseph was getting an award because we that special phone call urging us to be there.  Joseph got EVERY award!  It was almost embarrassing....straight As this term.  Straight As all year.  Perfect attendance.  President's Fitness Award.  ETC...  I think he came home with at least 5 big awards.
And then there's Jimmy.  Golf tournaments.  Basketball games (my personal favorite).  Soccer.  This little hyper kid loved his sports!  He wanted to play only what he was really good at (kinda like his dad!)  I will give this one to the Fitzpatricks.....not much co-ordination on this side.  Thanks, Jimmy, for years of watching the competitive side kick in.  Watching my little Jimmy, the point guard, bend his wrist in abnormal ways to make those 3 pointers for PHMS is something that my mind can't ever erase!  I know his Dad sees (still to this day) Jimmy's Tiger Woods' type swing and innate ability to play golf.
Then there's those ballet shoes.  Which led to patent leather tap shoes (which led to leather tap shoes which led to Miller and Ben custom made tap shoes ..... shhhh.... NO one needs to know how much those broke the bank!)  Which led to Jazz shoes....tie ones, slip ons, black ones and tan ones.  Which let to Lyrical slip ons.  Which led to pointe shoes which cost fortune and wore out every few months.  Which led us back to plain ole bare feet which got Madeline through 4 years of art school and led to a BFA.....oh my.  Memories of all those shoes!
Thanks kids.  My memory bank is filled with intelligence, athleticism, and artistry.  What parents could ask for more?  Life was never dull around these parts!

I have sat behind my Daddy's desk and pretended to be his secretary.  I have ridden on a fork lift in the Porter Brothers warehouse.  I have gotten a Nehi Grape Soda and a Moon Pie from the vending machine in that very warehouse.   I have been in my night gown in the middle of Porter Brothers after hours when the Police came because Daddy forgot about the alarm.  I have 'helped' Mary Ann Harrill and Shirley Runyans and I have won the Girl Scout cookie selling contest because Daddy put the sign up sheet on the bulletin board at Porter Brothers.
I have cruised the golf course at night on a golf cart with my cousin Scott and I have chewed more purple bubble gum than any human should have chewed with my cousin Ellen.  I have raided the freezer in the basement of my cousin Nancy's home late at night and I have baked cookies with her on any given moment!  I have played dolls with Patty and experienced her kindness and generosity when her brother wasn't being quite as kind and generous!  (Scott is now one of the most kind and loving men that I know).
I have shopped in Atlanta and New York with my mom and experienced shopping in ways I didn't know about.  (However, I am a pro at Steinmart, TJ Maxx, Target and Bealls!)  I have sat in a back room of a little 'shady' shop in Manhattan with Carol Rose as we were being offered wine, champagne and the likes while my mom and Carol's mother-in-law looked at Persian rugs and Swarovski crystal.  Carol and I felt almost like we were in some sort of comedy show laughed and talked about being like Lucy and Ethel!  And I still think, what's wrong with Lucy and Ethel?!

I have driven through the campus of UNC at Chapel Hill, the school of my choice since I was a little girl, and saying oh no...I'm not going here!   The huge campus just didn't sit well with me.   I watched my Daddy do what he did best....be an awesome dad.  He didn't react.  He didn't panic.  He just asked me what I wanted for my college experience and proceeded to find schools that would "fit the bill."  We spent the remainder of the weekend visiting schools.... UNCG, Furman, Meredith, High Point, and Elon.  Driving through the gates of Elon, I knew I was "home."  Finding the love of my life there only confirms that.  God is good.  His timing is excellent.

I have put myself in uncomfortable situations which all made me into a confident and happy woman.  If one really wanted to write about what all they crammed into a lifetime, well, it would literally take a lifetime.  I know I feel blessed.  I love that my memory is such a source of pleasure.  I love knowing I can conjure up things whenever I hear a song, a comment, or when I simply just want to remember.  I love that my lifetime has crammed so many things into it.  I love having a Bucket List of sorts to use to keep adding to that memory bank.  I love that my memories make me happy in that they are a reminder of who I am and why.
I love knowing that on April 1st my Mom can look at her scrapbook and be reminded of the 9 decades she has lived and that her life has been impactful on so many people.

And that, my friends, is what memories are made of.

 

 

Random Things That Make Me Happy

Florida Sunsets

Yellow Roses

Pink Roses

A Smiley Face Made Out of Sponges (Tarpon Springs, FL)

Leo (and candles!)

My Annual 4th of July Cake

Leo (and my spa!)

Painting With My Daughter

Madeline and Ashley and General Silliness

Porter....Pumped for the First (and only) Turkey Olympics!
Go Team Jim!!!

Madeline.....and the Titanic Movie!

Porter.....his onesie......his continual eating.....pound cake and caramel icing

My Kids (and Christmas)

Leo.....and Christmas Peace

Cheers!

My Daily View

Madeline reliving the 80's

Me, Leo, Halloween, and whoever captured this photo!

Porter.......his birthday.....his craziness

Clearwater Beach, FL

Me with My Daughter-in-Law at Jimmy's Crow's Nest

Jim and his Christmas Menagerie

Christmas Eve with my Family

Love of My Life

The Three Best Things That Ever Happened in My Life

Our Old Monkey with His Pacifier Every Christmas Season

My Oldest Child with his Lovely Wife

Trick or Treat

It seems fitting at this time of year to write about various Halloweens past.  I have so many fond memories of Halloween and Fall, both as a kid growing up in Shelby and as a married adult with children.

A particularly memorable Halloween was back in the early 60s.  We lived on Woodside Drive, and I know that in those days it was safe to go out trick or treating without your parents.  Groups of kids would walk all over the neighborhood and you would pass many groups along the way.  It was one of those nights that was anticipated months in advance.
I remember that it was safe to make homemade treats and give them to the neighborhood children.  We had one of those wonderful neighbors who made popcorn balls and cookies.  Her name was Mrs. Sherer.  When you went to her house to trick or treat, you knew that you were not only going to receive one of her delicious homemade treats, you might very likely be invited inside her house to eat them and to have something to drink.  I seem to remember her playing the piano too!  It is sad that my children never got to experience something like this.
Besides going to Mrs. Sherer's house, we went up and down both sides of the street ringing as many doorbells as possible.  It was important to cover a lot of ground to get as many treats as possible!

I guess the year I was considered old enough to tag along with Martha and some of her friends was particularly exciting for me!  However, I was younger and didn't know how important the speed was .....faster meant more candy!  Martha was always very patient with me, but this particular Halloween she might have been just a little annoyed by my trailing behind.  I was always a few paces behind her.  Part of what made me slower was because I kept finding candy on the ground.  I would bend down and pick it up and add it to my bag.  I was small and close to the ground, I guess!  When we finally got home, exhausted yet excited to assess our treats, we sat down on the living room floor to dump out our bags.  I always like to sort my candy by types.  My bag had gotten awfully heavy, and when Martha and I dumped our bags out, I know why mine was so heavy....I had twice as much candy as she did!  Martha couldn't understand this since we went to exactly the same houses.  After examining her bag, she discovered her bag had a hole in it.  I was walking behind her picking up all the candy that slipped through the hole in her bag!  Of course, Daddy had to come in and play the diplomat.  He convinced me that the right thing to do would be to give Martha some of my candy.  I did so....reluctantly...... (but not after sorting and counting it first!)

When I was growing up, I also remember our church, Central Methodist, having a Fall Festival or Halloween carnival.  It was complete with games, a hot dog dinner, cake walk and costume contest.  We gathered in the Fellowship Hall for this event, and I looked forward to it as much as I did going trick or treating!  My favorite game was always Go Fishing.  It was so exciting to throw a fishing line (with help from one of the teens from MYF) over a backdrop and pull out a prize clipped to a clothespin on the end of the line!  I guess I have always been sort of naive and gullible....I really didn't 'catch on' (no pun intended) until I was old enough to be one of the teens who helped with the games!  I was never very good at apple bobbing, but I did love to pick up ducks!  The memories of this simpler time of celebration will forever be with me.

As an adult, I truly love making treat bags and giving them out to the neighborhood children on Halloween.  I have been doing this for the 38 Halloweens that I have been married!  I guess a few times I took the kids out trick or treating, but generally that was Jim's job because I didn't want to miss seeing the witches, goblins, and fairy princesses that graced my doorstep!  I love seeing the costumes and I love the excited expressions and 'thank yous' I receive when I drop a little decorated bag filled with candy into the plastic pumpkin, shopping bag, or pillowcase (for those who are very optimistic).

Jim and I went to several grown up Halloween parties where we dressed in costume.  We had friends in Raleigh who always hosted a themed party.  They were so much fun!  One year the theme was Video Games.  I was pregnant with Jimmy, so I dyed a bed sheet pink, cut jagged edges and cut out eye holes and went as Pinky the Ghost from Ms. Pac Man (my favorite video game at the time).  Being pregnant put some limitations on what costume I could wear.  Jim, on the other hand, got very into it.  We visited several arcades and looked at video games.  We were from the pinball era, and this new rage of video games was not such familiar ground for us.  We found a video game called Wizard of War.  Jim decided he wanted to go as this character.  He painted his face white, sprayed his hair grey (yes, he needed to die it at that time) and got a long black robe.  We copied the picture and did his make-up perfectly.  He won the costume contest that year!  It was a silver-plated champagne bucket engraved and filled with candy corn.

One year Jim and I went with our neighbors to a charity Halloween party.  The four of us dressed in black and white.  We literally had no part of our bodies that wasn't painted, clothed, sprayed or made up with anything other than black and white.  It was pretty cool looking seeing the four of us together and it was really fun to do, but the clean up after the party was not so much fun!  Our shower had black paint stains in it for weeks following the party!''

A great part of Halloween is that it is sort of the kick-off to the busy months that ensue....Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.  I love those months and all the celebrations.  As a crafter, I am always busy with holiday crafts.  I went through a time when I would paint plaster figurines for various holidays.  Madeline's friends, Grace and Laura, would come over to play with her and would become intrigued watching me paint and cross stitch and all those other things I so love to do!  Madeline would get aggravated because she wanted to play with her friends....she saw me crafting all the time!  But Laura and Grace wanted to sit down and watch me and ask questions.  I find it interesting that they both are creative and crafty young women now.....(and so is Madeline!)
I loved going over to Madeline and Eric's town home the other day and I saw some of these painted figurines, as well as some cute witches that Martha bought for me at a craft show many years ago, decorating Madeline's home!  Everything looked so cute and perfect....and familiar.  I am so glad that my crafts and my holiday decorations are finding their way into Madeline's home.  I know how Mom feels when she comes to my house and sees her things incorporated into my decor.  It is so nice to pass things on from generation to generation.  I haven't decorated for Halloween in a few years, so I decided to give all of my stuff to Madeline.  Now I just decorate for Fall, so it is appropriate for October all the way through to Thanksgiving, which I host at my house.
In addition to making holiday crafts, I used to make holiday sweatshirts and tee shirts for the kids.  The boys finally got to a point when they said 'enough!'  I know that they had outgrown that, but I still enjoyed making things for Madeline to wear for various holidays.  I decorated a little sweatshirt for her one year with ghosts, paint and bows.  She was so cute in her Halloween sweatshirt and little tiny blue jeans!

Madeline and the neighborhood friends used to trick or treat in groups.  They usually came to our house for group pictures before they headed out.  One of my favorite group pictures was when Madeline, Jenna and Grace dressed like babies.  They had stuffed animals, pigtails, pajamas, and pacifiers!  I think they were middle-schoolers, so they really looked funny as babies!
Madeline dressed as a ballerina one Halloween.  That doesn't sound so original, but it was before she got so involved in dance and she ended up owning literally hundreds of dance costumes!  Her studio had a sale of used costumes one October and she chose a ballet costume to wear for Halloween.  I don't think that we realized in 1995 that our little Halloween ballerina would end up with a BFA in dance from the University of the Arts one day.

One year Madeline and her dance group attended a weekend convention that happened to fall on Halloween.  We had a little party for the girls in the hotel ballroom.  They dressed in pajamas or costumes for the party and then went trick or treating room to room in the hotel.  That was the year I painted mini pumpkins for each of the girls and personalized them with their names.

As a dance teacher, Madeline dresses up in costumes the week of Halloween while she teaches.  Usually she raids her dance costume closet to come up with an outfit.  I remember the year she took her elaborate costume from a dance she did called Mozart, and ended up turning into a Zombie 18th Century woman!  I am sure her students loved that.


I used to be part of a wonderful theater group called P.A.G.E.S.  Someone in our group always hosted a Halloween party.  Of course, it was a costume party and you can imagine what a bunch of theater people like to do with that!  One year Val hosted and the invitation was so cute....it said something like It's a Pajama Party, but Not a Sleepover!  We all wore our pajamas.  It was really fun!  I wore a long flannel nightgown, slippers and carried a teddy bear I borrowed from Madeline.
Another year I went as a nun.  It was a joke because everyone in the group was Catholic (we rehearsed and performed at a Catholic church) except me.  I thought going as a nun would be comical!
Another year I went as a crazy person with bug eyes, crazy wild hair and handcuffs.  Jim went as doctor from the psychiatric ward!  Our group had recently done a comedic play set in the psychiatric ward of a hospital.

Jim had some work friends who hosted a Halloween party.  I dressed as a "floozy" and Jim dressed as a nerd.  It was a fun costume to throw together and seeing my husband with elastic waist shorts pulled up high with a starched white shirt tucked in, a tie, knee socks and of course, with a pocket  protector filled with pens was priceless!  Jim was never involved with the theater group other than my biggest fan and a supporter of the group, but on Halloween you would think he should be on stage!

As a kid, the weeks leading up to October 31st would be filled with the question:  What are you going to be for Halloween?  Deciding a costume was the most important decision of the month!  I loved helping my own kids with their costumes.  Usually they had ideas and minds of their own, with the exception of when they were very little.  I remember making many costumes....a little devil for Jimmy, a witch for Madeline, a ghost and a skeleton for Jimmy, and a pirate for Joe.  As they got older Joe and Jimmy liked using make up and creating something scary for themselves!
 Madeline's first Halloween we dressed her like a little baby clown.  She was so adorable!  Her brothers dressed as scary monsters.  Jimmy was Dracula and Joe was like a skeleton.  When they held her between them for a picture, we called it Beauty and the Beasts!  The next Halloween left Madeline crying at picture time.  She was a beautiful princess complete with a tiara, Jimmy was a football player with a helmet and black make-up under his eyes and Joe was Skeletor...with some awesome make-up that I helped him do!  Her brothers looked so scary and they made the little princess cry!

When we lived in Shelby, I remember taking the kids over to Jessie and Bob's so they could see their costumes.  They would get such a kick out of this!  Then I would take them over to Martha and Bob's so that Martha could give them an extra special treat and take some pictures.  Martha particularly liked it the year we went over there and Madeline was dressed as a Wake Forest cheerleader!  Martha and Bob had bought her the outfit when they went to one of the WFU football games.

We always loved carving pumpkins each year.  I used to do them and sometimes I would also paint the pumpkins.  Then Jim took over the carving as the boys got a little bigger.  Then of course, the kids wanted to pick their own pumpkins and carve the faces themselves.  Jim was always a nervous wreck letting them do this....(and I am talking about Middle Schoolers and High Schoolers!)  One year Madeline and Eric had a carving contest themselves.  Eric carved his pumpkin to look like Jack from The Nightmare Before Christmas and Madeline carved "Eric" on hers.  They were really great!
Our cats always enjoyed the Halloween pumpkins.  They would sniff around them and check them out.  You know the saying....Curiosity killed the cat!  We have always had some curious cats!

I can't believe how many Halloweens have come and gone.  Jim and I are truly empty-nesters.  I am still making my treat bags for the neighborhood kids, but I doubt we will carve a pumpkin this year.  I painted several pumpkins for the church to sell at the Pumpkin Patch.  That was a fun thing to do! I sent a Halloween care package to Porter at NYU, knowing that there is a bit of kid even in a college guy!
I guess Jim and I are at a bit of a lull right now, but hopefully one of these days, life will progress and we will be carving pumpkins, making crafts, and choosing costumes with our grand kids!  I look forward to that day, but in the meantime, I will relive the Halloweens past of my own childhood and those of my own children.
And memories are made of this.

Joseph pretending to eat the pumpkin!

Joseph and Jimmy

Big Brother making fun of little brother!

Wolf and Dinosaur

Madeline and Eric

Joe gutting a pumpkin

Curious Peabo

Curious Leo

Sandy from "Grease"

Jimmy and Madeline

At Aunt Martha's

Porter

Madeline went through a witch phase!

Thug (this is Madeline!)

Turning 50 Ain't So Bad

I have been thinking about age a lot lately.  Certain things just come up in conversation or pop up on TV or in books I am reading or in a sermon at church that make me think about age and timelines and milestones.
Just today my friend, Liz, posted 3 things she was grateful for on Facebook.  She challenged me to do the same.  It is a challenge that has been going around to make people think more on their blessings than their woes.  It is a wonderful exercise and I have been blessed by reading what my friends are grateful for.  Today Liz mentioned that she was grateful that she was able to 'go home again' and live in her hometown after 42 years in other places.  She reason she is grateful for this is so she could spend the last years of her parents' lives with them.  She mentioned that her Dad lived to age 92 and her mom to age 95.  That is such a blessing.  Soon after reading this, Mom called me.  I asked her about her friend and if he was feeling better (he has had a cold) and she said that yes, he was, but she reminded me that he is 94 and that it is sort of scary.  Then she laughed and said, "well, I'm 89.  No one in our family has lived nearly that long except Jessie (her sister).  She was 97."
Also today our associate pastor, John, came into my office and we chatted briefly.  Upon realizing I have 3 grown children, he asked about grandchildren.  I told him, no, but that I was 'wishing and hoping!'  He assured me that with three grown children, it would likely happen before I know it!  Another milestone to anticipate.
So in one day, I had several age-related comments that really got me thinking.

Jim talks a lot about aging.  I think it is because he is nearing that magic number of 62 when you begin to think about retiring, social security and all those good things.  Sometimes to hear him talk, however, he makes it sound as if 62 is OLD.
Although my body defies me sometimes with ailments and limitations, my mind and spirit are very young.  I just never have stopped to think about being old.  But I guess 58 is no spring chicken!
My 40th high school reunion is next month.  40th.  Thinking of it that way, it does seem like my friends and I are getting old!  But I always remember that my Dad was a real believer in 'you're as old as you feel!'  I don't think he ever felt old....although he only lived to be 66 and I was only 31 when he passed away.  At least I know that he lived his life feeling young at heart.

I actually was thinking about writing this blog about turning 50 last spring when Tim DuBois, our youth pastor at the time, turned 50.  Tim is like a boy....he is fit, active and inspiring.  Everyone made a big deal about his turning 50.  The Lighthouse was filled with signs about being Over the Hill and people would pop in and tease him.  Tim seems like one of those ageless people, and I guess knowing he had reached the big Five-Oh was reason for teasing.
Virginia, Tim's assistant and right-hand woman, thought about a birthday treat for Tim.  Tim loves Krispy Kreme donuts and as a rule, Virginia got them for breakfast on his birthday.  The closest Krispy Kreme closed, so Virginia had another wonderful idea.  We serve breakfast to High School and Middle School students before school on Fridays at the Lighthouse.  Virginia found a recipe for Birthday Cake Pancakes, so we got all the ingredients and mixed them together with instructions for our wonderful volunteer breakfast cooks.  The birthday cake pancakes were a hit and everyone, including Tim, loved them.
I got to thinking, turning 50 ain't so bad......birthday cake pancakes and lots of love, attention and good wishes!

I made me think of my own 50th birthday.  It was a wonderful birthday and it will always be remembered.  I was telling Rachel, my co-worker, a bit about it today, as a matter of fact.  Yes, this definitely was a day of mentioning ages and talking about milestones!
I play bridge with a group of amazing women.  I love them like sisters and I look forward to the times when we are all together.  They call me the baby of the group because everyone in the group is older than I am.  We normally don't make a big to-do about birthdays in this group, but on my 50th, these ladies all chipped in and bought me a lovely slide to wear on a chain.  It is a tri-colored flower slide...gold, silver and copper colored.  It is lovely and I think of them every time I wear it.  They said they just had to honor me now that I had FINALLY reached 50!  That was 8 years ago.  I'm still the baby, but I guess I'm 'catching up!'  2 of my 3 children are married.  We are officially empty-nesters.  We don't have grandchildren yet, but as Pastor John said, it's only a matter of time!  I guess I have more 'in common' with these ladies now than I did when I first joined them.  I had a first-grader and none of them had children at home....at least not nearly that young!  So, that beautiful gift sort of kicked off my 50th birthday experience!

My husband outdid himself for my 50th.  He really considered all things that I love and enjoy.  He is really thoughtful at all times, but this was amazing!
Several years ago he had bought me a diamond tennis bracelet.  I wore it every day and loved it so much.  One day I had been out running errands and shopping and driving kids to and fro.  Later that afternoon I realized my bracelet was gone!  I retraced my steps to no avail.  I then called CVS, Winn-Dixie, Jacobsen's department store and Suntrust bank and asked if my bracelet had been turned in.  It had not.  I gave them all my information and every day I jumped whenever the phone rang thinking it might be one of these stores saying someone found it and turned it in.  I never got the bracelet back, and I know that we shouldn't put too much value in 'things,' but I consider my things much more than simple things.  This bracelet represented a thoughtful and loving gesture from my husband.  I was really sick about losing it, and it was certainly out of character for me.  I am very organized and very careful about most everything I do.
But I digress.....
For my 50th birthday my husband really spoiled me.  He bought me a new diamond tennis bracelet even more beautiful than the one I had lost!  It had been several years since I lost the first bracelet.  He was very proud to give it to me and had really done his research and knew about the quality and clarity of the diamonds.  It touched me that he cared enough to learn about his purchase so that he could share it with me.  The other beautiful thing about this gift is that he had earned a nice bonus from work and it used that to buy this gift for me!  Needless to say, I definitely feel the love every time I put it on.....and I also check the clasp often as I wear it!
As if this generous gift  wasn't enough, Jim took me to New York for my birthday weekend.  I love to visit New York because I love theater and going to Broadway shows is definitely the ultimate entertainment for me.  It is magical.  I get so excited and so wrapped up in the experience that it stays with me long after the show is over.  We managed to squeeze 3 shows into that weekend, but the highlight was seeing "Three Days of Rain."  Ironically, it rained the whole  3 days we were in New York, so this was appropriate!  "Three Days of Rain" is the only Broadway show Julia Roberts has ever been in.  I love Julia Roberts.  I don't know how to explain it, but she is special to me and to see her in her first Broadway show was a dream come true.  And I saw her from the 8th row in the center.  And I saw her preform with only 2 other actors....Bradley Cooper and Paul Rudd.  Need I say more?  I loved the show.  The set looked and sounded like rain the entire time, and when we left the theater we were in the rain.  It was like we extended the show into the city.  Jim wasn't wild about the show, but he said he was happy as a clam watching me watch this magical moment on stage.  He knew I was in my glory and this was all that mattered.  And this took place on the very day of my 50th birthday....April 22, 2006.
The weekend ended with a wonderful dinner the following evening at The Beacon.  Jim had learned about this restaurant from a customer he had at a restaurant in Tarpon Springs.  There was some relationship between this customer and the chef of The Beacon.  Jim made the reservation before we left Florida, and he made it simply by recommendation of this customer.  He never mentioned anything about knowing the chef or a special occasion or anything when making the reservation.  As the most memorable dining experience we have ever had progressed, we began to believe that perhaps that had been tipped off!  It began by walking in and being seated at the best table in the place.  We sat down and ordered a drink, and soon after our drinks came, a platter of oysters, the restaurant specialty appetizer, arrived with a comment from the server "compliments of the chef."  I personally don't like oysters, but the gesture was touching and Jim was in his glory as he got to eat the whole platter!  After that, we placed our orders.  Everything was a la carte.  I ordered sea scallops and Jim ordered a New York strip and we both ordered salads.  The salads came and we enjoyed those, then our entrees came.....along with a family style serving of potatoes and another family style serving of asparagus.....with the same comment as before:  "compliments of the chef." We ate slowly, savoring every delicious morsel and getting so stuffed!  We wanted to be able to eat it all and so we took our time.  We realized that we were there for almost 3 hours!  When we left, the rained had stopped and we were happy to be able to walk back to Times Square, enjoy the sights and walk off some of the food.  But the food didn't end with the entrees and vegetables......after explaining to my husband that those were the best sea scallops I had EVER had and that everything was so beautifully presented and so delicious, here comes two servers with a gigantic platter filled with bite sized pastries and chocolates and chocolate covered strawberries.....above all these goodies around the rim of the platter was "Happy 50th Birthday, Mary" written in chocolate.
So, I can truthfully say, turning 50 ain't so bad!

I think about Madeline and Eric who have been married less than a year and Joseph and Ashley who are about to have their 2nd anniversary....they are all just embarking on this ride called marriage.  They have so many wonderful milestones to look forward to.  Jim and I enjoy sitting back and watching them and remembering our own married beginning 38 years ago.  People say times flies, and sometimes it feels like it does.  But often I look across at my gray haired handsome husband and I smile with contentment.  I do remember the days when I looked across at him and his hair was dark brown and he was more restless than he is these days.  It seems like a long time ago, and for that I am grateful.  I can fill in all those years with so many memories....raising 3 children, working, buying homes and fixing them up,birthday parties, sporting events, weddings and funerals, vacations, ups and downs and worries, spiritual growth, contentment, and anticipation.  As of lately, Jim and I agree that our favorite time is the late afternoon just before sunset when we sit out on the lanai, prop our feet up, look around at our pool and our yard.  I love the sound and the sight of the sprinklers slowly arching back and forth across the green grass.  Jim knows this and he turns on the sprinkler system and has it set in the back part of the yard that I look at as I anticipate the coming sunset.  It is so peaceful out there.  And we talk.  Really talk.  We sometimes have serious discussions and sometimes we reminisce.  Sometimes we talk about the things we plan to do "someday" and sometimes we discuss problems and situations that we know we have to face.  I just know I am blessed to have this gray-haired man by my side and I do believe we have a lot of life left to live together.  My Dad's favorite quote to my mom always was:  "come grow old along with me....the best is yet to be."  It is definitely the attitude to have.  It allows you to enjoy the moments rather than worry about them or stress that you are aging and that your knees hurt and you can't do yard work for as many hours in a row as you used to.  It gives you that sense of pleasant anticipation of more moments to enjoy.....perhaps better moments than you have experienced to date.
But thinking about life and times, milestones and memories, you never know how much or how little time you have on this earth.  Therefore, it is important to make every moment count.  They don't just have to be those big moments....like a trip to New York.....they can be the moments when you just sit and talk or sit next to someone special in silence.  Sometimes the best things can be realized in the silence.  It truly can be golden.  I think from now on I am going to revel in my birthdays.  I am going to realize that they are a big deal......And not just milestone birthdays like the 50th, but every birthday.

Whether you are remembering or anticipating moments or milestones.....remember that memories are made of this.

Then.....and now.

They grow up.

And the sun sets on another day.

My Life is in a Truck

Recently my cousin Ellen posted on her Facebook page:  "I could write a book entitled 'My Life is in a Truck'."  Ellen moved to Kentucky to live near her son and his family.  She had lived in NC her whole life!  It was a big move for her.  Ellen's comment struck home with me in more ways than one!  I cannot even count the number of times in the last few years that we have hired a truck, rented a truck or borrowed a truck to move things....small loads and very large loads.  We have shifted things from here to there and back so many times it is hard to keep up with what is where!

When Mom moved to Florida over 2 years ago, we hired a huge moving van.  We carefully calculated what she needed for her new apartment, what I wanted to keep to use in my house, what to store in my garage and what Madeline and my boys might want.  Porter and Bob took a few things that they wanted.  It left Mom's house in Shelby half (over half, actually) full.
The moving van arrived and unloaded the few things into my garage that belonged there and headed over to Stratford Court.  We filled up Mom's place and got it decorated pretty quickly.  Jim's brother, Tommy and his wife Linda, were in Florida. They are the world's best helpers.  I think they live to help people move, mend, fix and refurbish.  I have always thought that Jim and I were hard workers, but oftentimes Tommy and Linda make us look like lightweights!  In their true fashion, they helped us move furniture, organize, hang pictures, unpack boxes, haul off empties and just simply do what they could to make Mom's move go as smoothly as possible.  I have always said that Tommy and Linda go above and beyond, and I think this was one of those times.  With the help of those two, Jimmy, and Jim and myself, we got Mom's house organized and decorated and 'just like home' in a matter of 2 days.  I have often heard that 'it takes a village' and 'many hands make light work.'  In this case, it is true. I am so grateful that my Mom's dramatic life change happened with as little stress as possible.  I know she was pleased with her new surroundings.  She insisted on spending that very first night there alone!

On the other hand, my garage became a storage unit and my car has yet to fit back inside it!  I have almost forgotten what it was like to pull my car full of groceries into my garage and unload it without rain or without worrying about the cat running out or things like that.  But it is a small price to pay for the merging of two households.  I am grateful that Mom's move went as smoothly as it did and that she adapted to her new surroundings as easily as she did.  She is as comfortable at Stratford Court today as she was in her own home in Shelby.  I think she had just made up her mind that this was what she needed to do and that it was in everyone's best interest.  I am amazed how she never looked back!  I admire and appreciate her so much for this.

Jimmy had been living with us for about a year because he moved back to Clearwater from Melbourne and wasn't really sure what his next step would be.  With only 1 of 4 bedrooms occupied, we told him he could move in with us until he figured out his next step.  Kids do leave the nest, but they also come home again!  I haven't minded.  Rather, I have felt blessed and fortunate that I have had the space for my kids to come back to.  It also is a pleasant thought that they really don't MIND being back with their parents!  Anyway, after a time and after Mom was settled here, Jimmy got his own place.  This resulted in renting a big U-Haul and calling on the help of Tommy again!  We moved Jimmy into his condo and filled it with some of the furniture we brought back from Mom's.  We knew he was going to be moving out of our home soon, so we brought some things from her place in Shelby for that purpose.
Jimmy is still in that condo filled with things from Mom's house.  We have on occasion hauled other things over there that came out of our house that we no longer needed.....perhaps because we replaced them with things from Mom's house in Shelby!

Did I say that my garage housed 2 households?  I meant 3.  Just about 2 months after Mom moved down here, Madeline moved back from living for 5 years in Philadelphia.  Madeline was engaged and it seemed foolish for her to pay for her own place when we have a 4 bedroom home with only 1 bedroom occupied.  Jimmy had been gone for over a month, and we were  empty-nesters again!
Madeline's move required me to converse with the movers that moved Mom from Shelby to Florida.  They agreed they could move Madeline from Philadelphia to Florida.  So, Madeline got on the phone with them and discussed what she had that needed to be moved.  She didn't have time to get rid of anything or make any decisions about her things. I remember it being a crazy time because the movers were late and Madeline had a plane to catch to come back to Florida!  She had to enlist one of her friends to come and oversee the rest of the move so she could make it to the airport.  Fortunately, everything worked out but once again, life was on a truck!  Everything she owned and had accumulated in 5 years was on that truck!
The truck arrived, unloaded all her belongings in our garage, and voila.....3 different homes had representation in our garage!  The very next day, my roommate from college and her 3 kids came for a visit.  It was awesome!  I hadn't seen her in many years.  Life was hectic, though, and Madeline truly felt the upheaval.  She was home less than 48 hours with house guests, engaged to be married and trying to figure out her employment and being back home with Mom and Dad again, and then she left for Jamaica to go on a mission trip with our church!  She never really unpacked.  Over the next couple of weeks, she brought in and unpacked what she needed, and the rest of the stuff stayed in the garage.  Some of it is still out there!

Everyone settled in for awhile and eventually Jim and I had to go back to Shelby to deal with the rest of the stuff in Mom's home.  I had been once before that to visit my friends.  Sally and Carol went with me to Mom's and helped me inventory all that was left.  We had thought we might arrange a tag sale to do what we needed to with the rest of it all.  Well, arranging this tag sale long distance just seemed overwhelming, so that is when Jim and I decided that we needed to go back.  We ended up working ourselves like crazy!  We decided that we needed to move back to Florida certain things and the rest we needed to get rid of.  Our goal was to empty the house.  So in just a couple of days, we did just that!  We spent one day assessing the situation, taking care of home repairs and tagging what would go and what would stay.  Although there were several items we didn't really need nor were we sure anyone else would need, we just couldn't leave them.  We arranged for the moving company to come and they agree to move every single item that was left in the house.  They didn't want any surprises, so we assured them if it was left in the house, it was intended to be moved.  We knew we wouldn't be around, so we had to make sure we covered all the bases.
We worked until we couldn't move.  We literally crawled into our hotel room at night!  We cleaned the sheds, the closets, the attic, the garage, the lawn....you name it!  We called The Hospice Thrift Store to come get what we decided to donate.  The charity was fairly new and it was dear to my heart.  Not only do I believe in the power of the Hospice organization, my good friend, Patti McMurry, has worked for Hospice for years.  I knew that the new thrift store was important to her so I chose it as our choice to donate.  The volunteers who came with truck after truck were so appreciative and thankful, it did my heart good.  I called Mom that night and told her that her things had made a lot of people happy!  We spent all day pointing out this and that and the people from Hospice took whatever we told them to take.
After they left, Jim and I set out to pack up what was left that didn't need professional packing.  We cleaned the house and knew that there wouldn't be so much as a bar of soap left  when the movers came and we flew back to Florida the next day!

So, the movers arrived.  We had to rent a storage unit.  It was filled absolutely to the brim, and many other items got put in our garage....things we decided we might want after all.  It was almost as much as the first time we had a moving truck come from Shelby!  We now had a garage that not only was void of a car, but there was barely a walkway to get from the door out to the driveway!  And this is not to mention that the storage unit was full.

There came a time when we realized that Jimmy could use a few more things from our garage, like a desk and a twin bed from Madeline's Philadelphia collection.  Madeline was happy to give him these things.  We realized how many of our family's things had been moved from place to place to place.  We believe in keeping it 'all in the family!'   So, we rented a truck and moved a bed, desk, mattress set, tv and a few more things of Madeline's to Jimmy's place.

Well, now we had a wedding to plan.  So the mess just stayed and stayed.  Finally, about 2 months before their wedding, Madeline and Eric rented a townhome.  They didn't live in it, but they decided to fix it up so it would be ready for the new Mr. and Mrs. Eric Barnes.  This resulted in renting a U-Haul and moving a bunch of stuff from our garage.  They began setting up their new place.  They also went out and bought a sofa and a few things they needed that neither of them had.  That resulted in borrowing a truck from a friend.

After Mom's 2nd load came from Shelby, Madeline and Eric had decided on a few more things from her house because now that they had their own place and could visualize what would fit and what they wanted. We rented a U-Haul again......went to the storage unit to get a few things and back to our garage for some more things.
As soon as they got Mom's antique oak table in their house, they realized they had the tabletop, the legs, but not the pedestal base.  This resulted on yet another trip to the storage unit and back to their townhouse!

Other truck rentals/borrows came from Madeline and Eric moving more things from his parents' garage, our garage and the storage unit.  We also assessed the storage unit to see what in there might need to go into our garage for our upcoming yard sale.
After our yard sale, we took three cars loaded to the brim with leftover stuff and went straight to Goodwill to donate it.

Just this weekend, a lot of Mom's stuff was sold at an auction.  It was hard for me to let go, but I realized after all these moves, my house full, Madeline's house full, the boys have what they need, Bob and Porter got some lovely art items that they wanted to remember Mom by...well, there just isn't a need or a way to hang onto everything.  I felt like my life and my heritage just went by the wayside.  Madeline kept reminding me that we all have something of Mom's as remembrance, Mom has all her favorite things in her apartment, not to mention that our garage (and now Madeline's old empty bedroom) is full and that we don't have need or space for anything else.  I tend to hang on to the past, memories and heritage.....but my wiser than-her-years daughter tells me to view it as someone else giving life to these things and that they are making them happy.   I know she is right.  I said to Mom and my husband just today:  "The most important things in life aren't things."
Can I hear an amen for that?!
But I do know what Ellen means....My Life Is In a Truck.  I have felt like that for almost three years now. And even though there probably won't be more trucks, I still have piles of stuff to sort through, decide upon...I have a garage to clean out and an extra room to turn into a nice room and not a storage room.  I go back to what sparked me to begin my blog....Sally heard my frustration 3 years ago.  She told me to take pictures of Mom's things.  Write a blog about them.  And then do with them what I need to do with them.  And move on.  After all, we can't cling on to everyTHING.
But memories are made FROM these things.

Gail Ann...College Roomie!