Shelby

It has been a busy time for me. I don't know exactly how to put it in words, but I have felt a bit like a dog chasing his tail lately.  I also feel like I am accomplishing things, it just seems as if the list keeps growing much more rapidly than it is getting completed.
Jim and I flew up to North Carolina a few weeks ago to clean, organize and pack up the rest of the things in Mom's house.  Mom has discovered that she has room for a few more pieces of furniture at Stratford Court and there are some things she still wants/needs from her house in Shelby.  We earmarked those to be moved down here to her.  We donated a lot of stuff to the new Hospice Store and we threw out things that were of no use to anyone.  We decided what needed to be saved for posterity, for necessity, or just for fun.  We had repair people over there giving estimates, doing work or giving advice.  We cleaned, knocked down cobwebs and found interesting things hidden in the attic!  It was an awesome task that had to be accomplished in a short period of time. But I am happy to say....we did it!  

It was weird to stay in a hotel in Shelby.  I am sure it was a first for me.  Jim remembered staying with his family at The Governor's Inn the few nights before our wedding.  As Jim and I were planning this trip up there, Madeline said:  "I didn't even know there were hotels in Shelby!"  Silly girl.  She has just been used to feeling so welcome in Grandma's home. We had never seen the need to seek out a hotel.  Jim and I didn't get our money's worth staying in the hotel.....I don't even think we even turned on the TV!   We came in late at night....tired and dirty.....showered and hit the sack!  We were exhausted.  

After being unoccupied for well over a year, Mom's house showed that it lacked the TLC it deserved.  A house just needs to have people in it living their lives and putting their energy into making it a home.  I hope one day this beautiful house can become a home for some lucky family.  It is a great place and there are many memories and stories that took place in that home.  It will never be forgotten.
When Jim and I left, we left knowing that not one thing in that house went untouched.  The best we figured we filled about 65 large trash bags with things that needed to be thrown out.  Then there were those things too good to throw out but not needed by anyone else in the family.  The people from the Hospice Store were absolutely amazing and delightful to work with.  I can't say enough good about them.  They came armed with boxes, trucks, strong backs, strong wills, and a heart for service.  When they left, we began sorting, boxing and tagging everything that was left.  We told the movers that when they came to load, everything that was left was to be moved.  We knew we had to do a good job of sorting and depleting some of the "stuff" because whatever is in that house now will soon be arriving in Clearwater, FL!  Add that to the garage full of stuff from Mom's original move and Madeline's entire Philadelphia apartment........all I can say to that is oh law!  

I told Mom that when Madeline gets married and we start going through all this stuff, it will be like a treasure hunt!  I moved a lot of my things into the garage when I replaced them with things from Mom's house when she originally moved down here in March of 2012.  It has been an adventure!  
I know that some way some how I need to learn to let go.  I am so sentimental that when I see these things some memory or story comes to mind.  I know that Sally encouraged me to write this blog so that I could have it all on paper and then I could physically part with the "things."  So far, I haven't done a great job with the parting!  I am still hoping to keep a lot of these things in the family dispersed amongst us.  I know, however, that some things don't necessarily need to be kept.

When the moving truck arrives, I will be receiving boxes and boxes of scrapbooks. I guess Mom's house was the place where everyone's belongings ended up when they passed away.  I literally have all the scrapbooks and old keepsakes and pictures from Jessie, Mildred and Yates, Earl and Donald.....not to mention Mom's!  I don't know what I am going to do with them, but I certainly couldn't throw them away!  I may need to start an Humphries/Porter museum or something!
All of this packing up and moving (twice) really makes you think about things.  Each item you pick up has been a part of someone's life.  It is amazing how it makes different types of feelings arise.
I realized that the last few years have been some of the most life-changing years I have ever experienced.  My baby graduated college and then eventually moved back to Florida after her engagement.  She will be a married woman soon and we have been busy planning her wedding.  I love talking to her about her bright future with her new husband.  Having her back in our house after 5 years in Philadelphia is a joy,  but a great change for us.  She is in a transitional state and so much of her life is packed up in  boxes and crates in our garage just waiting to be released and filtered in to her new life.   
My sister's death was truly one of the most life-changing things that ever happened to me. The kind of grief and sadness I have experienced is immeasurable. As the result of her death, my Mom now lives in Florida.  I am thrilled with having her so close and now that I am used to having her here, I can't imagine my life without her right around the corner.  It is weird when I think that now it's really just Mom and me.  I never dreamed that Martha would not be around to experience this phase of life with me.  
My oldest son found the love of his life and they are now married.  I feel blessed to have such a sweet daughter-in-law but frustrated at not being able to get to know her better because they are so far away.  
My joys and sorrows seem to seesaw every day.  Our family has seen a lot of ups and downs these last few years, but we carry on.  I know that in there somewhere is a wonderful plan that God has in store for us.  So we hang on and enjoy the ride....bumps and all!

Moving Mom made me realize that I have sort of closed the chapter of my life that is Shelby. Although I was born and raised there and it will always be my home, I won't have the same reasons to go back to Shelby.  Even though I have lived in Florida since 1994, I have been back to Shelby many, many times.  Some years I made as many as 8 or 9 trips back up there.  I have a nephew that is like one of my own kids who still lives there, but he is a senior in high school and will soon be in New York or Boston or some other wonderful city doing amazing things as he prepares for the next phase of his life!  I have cousins in Shelby, but they are all busy with their lives enjoying grandchildren and the likes.  I have some wonderful friends in Shelby that I love to spend time with, but like my cousins, their lives are so involved that it isn't always easy to find a fitting time to visit.  I will go back to visit my friends and relatives from time to time, but with that 'home base' gone, it will not be as frequent as it has been in the past.  It is a bittersweet realization.  Wasn't it Thomas Wolfe who said "you can't go home again?"

My memories of Shelby are too countless to mention, but I can scratch the surface.  My memories of living on Woodside Drive and Ridgeview Drive include playing kickball and hide and seek with the neighbors; catching lightening bugs and putting them in a mason jar with holes poked in the lid with a can opener; snow days; lying on top of the car parked on the curb at dusk to see if a bat would swoop down; walking to Graham School with my sister; putting on a play with Martha and Madeline Hughes (perhaps the spark that ignited my love of theater!); trick or treating and having a hole in my bag only to find out that Martha was trailing behind me picking up all the candy that fell out; playing with my cat Dinkle; and 'walking around' with my friends.  
My memories of Central United Methodist Church consist of so many things, but as a kid the highlights were the ice cream supper we had once a year where the menu consisted of home churned ice cream and homemade cakes and pies.  I remember singing in the choir, going to Sunday School, and sitting in the same pew each Sunday with Martha, Mom and Dad.  I remember MYF and the fun we had with Steve and Rosa Linda Talbert.  I remember receiving my Bible in front of the whole congregation in 3rd grade.  I loved the Fall Festival where we played games and won prizes and ate hot dogs and cookies.  I know then (and now) my favorite time in church is the Christmas Eve candlelight service. 
 I have fond memories of my schools:  Graham School, Marion School, Oak School (yes, I was one of the lucky 6th graders who attended there), Shelby Jr. High School, and good ole Shelby High School.  There was nothing more fun that a Friday night in Shelby, North Carolina during footbabll season!  I can recollect the sights and smells of those nights vividly.  I also have memories of my adult years in Shelby when I taught at Crest Junior High School and Kings Mountain Middle School and High School.  The weirdest moment was when I went to watch my Kings Mountain students play a soccer game against the Shelby Middle School students (my son was the goalie).  Who was I supposed to root for?  Of course, I quietly rooted for SMS.....(and they won!).
Barbecue and hushpuppies from Bridges, orangeades and RC Cola, livermush, Sundrop and Cheerwine, fried okra from Shelby Cafe, a burger with mustard and slaw  with a basket of French Fries from Web's or a Tast-T-Tee burger can make me salivate with just the mere thought.
Hanging out at Pizza Inn, Deb parties, riding around on Saturday night, going to movies at the State Theater and the Rogers Theater, Teen Club, the Cleveland County Fair, sleepovers at friends' homes, attending football games and basketball games, slow dancing in someone's basement, making pizza and cookies with my cousin, riding around with Terri in her yellow VW, hanging out at North Lake pool, and SHS pep rallies are more than enough to create fun and memories for this high school girl!
Tickle Bee Hill, art classes with Bob Shepherd, the train and merry-go-round at Shelby City Park, a stop at Dairy Queen on the way home from school, penny candy, shopping uptown, working at A.V. Wrays as a gift-wrapper, Porter Brothers, Fiber Industries, dogwoods, azaelas, white Christmas lights on the Courtsquare are just a few of the wonderful reasons to call Shelby home.

I will always remember the warmth of the people in Shelby.  It was so evident after Martha died.  The outpouring of love and concern was overwhelming.  And that was not the only time I have experienced this.  Shelby people are just good folks.  All the people from Shelby, native or transplants, that I have spent time with through the years are the basis for so many memories.  

I read this and the source is unknown, but I love it and think it is so very impactful and true:  "Sometimes people come into your life for a moment, a day, or a lifetime.  It matters not the time they spent with you but how they impacted your life in that time."

These people.  This place.  Memories are made of this.

Some of the trash bags and boxes we filled

We managed to squeeze in a dinner at Ni Fen

Some of the stuff donated to the Hospice Store

and more

and more

Jim discovered this lovely lady in Mom's attic

ummmm........

Shelby friend through the ages

Love my cousins!

So happy to have a new daughter-in-law

Three Musketeers at Owl's Eye

My Ma and Pa

Cousin fun!

Middle School fun!

Then......

.....and now

Next generation of cousins

Three happy gals....we got our vinegar fries!

Mom's house in the snow

Cleveland County Courthouse