Say Cheese

"A picture is worth a thousand words."  This adage refers to the notion that a complex idea can be conveyed with just a single still image.  I know this to be true.  I have had a camera in my hand snapping photos of people and places since I was 12 years old.  I am not a photographer, but I love to record 'life' with photographs.  I like to have tangible reminders of so many wonderful memories.  I read somewhere that buying a Nikon camera does not make you a photographer, it makes you a Nikon owner.  I am now the proud owner of a new Nikon that my husband bought me as a surprise for our anniversary.  I hope I can hone up on my photography skills and become more of a photographer.

I have always had a lot of photographs displayed in my home.  My refrigerator is covered with snapshots that I have taken of friends, family, events, cats, vacations and the like.  I have pictures on the refrigerator that people have sent me or given to me.  I have framed pictures all over the house.  The interesting thing about my photographs now is that many of them came from Mom's house when she moved.  It really made me step back and look at the photos that I had displayed to see which ones I wanted to change and which ones I could replace with ones from Mom's house.  It has been a big project.  I have reframed some pictures.  I have repaired old frames that Mom had.  I have switched some photographs I had on display with ones I brought from her house.  I wish I had room to display all the pictures I have, but that would require living in a place such as the Taj Mahal!

Before Mom moved, I was in the midst of a HUGE project.  It has now been crammed into the closet in the guest room.  Out of sight, out of mind.  I had a multitude of photo albums.  Seriously, I think I had more photo albums than anyone I know.  I have always been faithful about putting my photos in albums....after I wrote on the back of each of them the date, name and place!  I learned that trick from my Dad.  I know Jessie always praised me for keeping up with that.  Anyway, I do a lot of scrap-booking.  I had been sort of messing up my photo albums by pulling out photos to use in my scrapbooks.  I also was running out of places to keep the albums.  With my growing scrapbook collection, the photo albums were being stored here and there and I was always having trouble locating them.  So, without realizing what a HUGE project this was, I started taking the photos out of the albums, rubber-banding them together and labeling the bundle with dates.  I bought a slew of pretty photo boxes from the craft store.  I am filing the pictures chronologically and by subject matter in the boxes and then labeling the boxes.  This sounded like a simple project, but trust me, it is not!  Thank heavens for my dear sister-in-law, Linda.  She helped me dismantle my albums.  I still haven't dismantled them all and the filing of the photos has just begun.  I hope that one day I will be happy with my decision to do this!
Now, I have added photos, photo albums and scrapbooks from Mom's house and from Jessie's to my collection.  I stored some of them inside a beautiful antique chest I brought from Mom's.  I knew I would find a good use for that chest!  As I said, out of sight, out of mind.  Hopefully one day I will be able to enjoy the fruits of my labors.

It is amazing what looking at a photograph can do.  It can trigger so many thoughts and emotions.  I came across a couple of quotes that really touched on the heart of the reason I have always loved to take pictures.  One was by Eudora Welty.  She is a Pulitzer Prize winning author from Jackson, Mississppi.  I have admired her ever since I studied her works at Elon in a class I took entitled Southern Literature.  It was one of my favorite courses.  We studied so many wonderful Southern writers.  Welty said "A good snapshot stops a moment from running away."  Gotta love a Southern female writer!
Another quote I love from Dirk Bogarde says "The camera can photograph thought."

I have just recently tried to take more nature photographs and interesting shots of simple things in life.  I think that is why Jim bought me the Nikon.  I am hoping to improve on my skills.  I think I have the eye for the photography and God has certainly surrounded me with wonderful subject matter.   I just didn't have the best tools.

Most of the photographs in my house now are of people.  They are people I love.  People from my past and my present.  I cherish these pictures and never tire of looking at them.  I sometimes just walk around my house and look at these pictures.  They can always bring a smile or a tear.  I think that is what Eudora Welty meant about stopping a moment from running away.  It might not acutally be the moment that the picture was taken that is remembered, but more likely the memories associated with the person in that photograph.  The memory moment can sometimes change at any given time you look at the picture.

When we moved Mom into Statford Court, we put a few of her favorite photographs on a table in her little den and she hung some beautiful portraits in her bedroom.  She says when she goes to sleep at night she is looking at Porter's latest school picture (and next to it a lovely framed poster he made her for Christmas).  I think having these pictures certainly helps Mom feel loved and blessed.

In Shelby Mom had a long staircase that led to her upstairs area.  This stairwell was filled with photographs.  Every time I looked at these pictures, I felt like I saw something I hadn't seen before.  There are still some photos hanging there, but I took down most of the ones I thought would be used.
I teased Madeline by putting the picture of me in my pink tutu, no tights, legs covered with mosquito bites in her room when she came back from Philadelphia.  After years spent in the dance world, I realize how old fashioned this picture was and I also realized how far I ever was from becoming a beautiful dancer like my daughter!
The picture does bring a smile to my face.  In that moment, I could easily have been the Sugarplum Fairy or a beautiful swan pirouetting across the stage in "Swan Lake."

Mom had a little corner in her breakfast room that had several pictures of Madeline.  I have had several corners like that in my own home.  Mom has 3 grandsons and only one granddaughter.  It is easy to see who loves to have pictures made!  Girls just seem to light up for the camera a whole lot more than boys.  The abundance of pictures is just that....an abundance of pictures.  The pictures are not synonymous with the amount of love or affection.  I hope all the boys never feel slighted.

Of course, Mom didn't have room for many pictures in her new home in Florida, so most of them came to my house.  When I was packing up Mom's house, I took some really great pictures of Martha off the wall and out of drawers and from photo albums and gave them to Porter.  I knew he would appreciate having them.  I also took the pictures Mom had in drawers and storage boxes and sorted through them for my kids and myself.  I sorted the pictures into piles for each person.  I have already given Joseph his pictures because he has a home to put them in.  I have Madeline's boxed up for later and Jimmy took a few of his to put on his refrigerator.  I still have a box for him as well.
I displayed some of the pictures in my house, but I still have boxes and boxes of additional pictures from Mom.  Someday, when I have extra time....or better yet, when I MAKE time, I plan to make some scrapbooks out of them.  I want to preserve the memories to pass down through the generations. Fortunately, Porter and my children all seem to have some interest in their ancestry, so my work won't be in vain.

I never really thought much about it because it is so much a part of me and who I am, but I literally have photographs displayed in every single room in my house.
Back in my bedroom, I have wedding pictures on the wall with my Dad and me and Jim's Dad with him.  We both agreed these are treasures.  Both of our Dads are gone and we both loved and honored our Dads so much.  Jim's Dad was notorious for having the squinty eyes in all his photos.  To have a picture of him in his tuxedo, with his eyes open, just 6 months before his death, is certainly one of those pictures that can leave one speechless.  It means more than words can do justice.
There is a large portrait of our three children when they were young along with some other family photos.  Jim has a framed picture of me when I was 18 on his desk.  He loves to look at it....I guess it reminds him of when he first met me.  Interestingly, he also has a picture next to it of Madeline when she was about 17 or 18.  On his desk he also has a picture of himself kissing little Madeline on the forehead.  It is in a frame that Madeline made for him one Christmas.  Not only are our pictures meaningful, many of the frames are handmade which adds another element to the sentiment of the picture.
I even have pictures of the kids hanging on the wall in my bathroom!  What could help the morning routine of getting ready for the day more pleasant than looking at these adorable pictures?

Moving on to the hallway, I had several family photographs, but I took some of those down in order to rearrange some artwork in my house after I incorporated some of the things I brought from Mom's. I do have some pictures of historical landmarks in Cleveland County on those walls.  I never want to forget where I come from.

My living room used to boast large portraits of my Dad and his Dad.  I just recently took those down when I bought an antique curio cabinet to display Madeline's perfume bottle collections.  The portraits are wrapped up in my garage and I am sure they will emerge soon, since I love the portraits of these two stately looking men.  They always evoked comments from visitors into my home. 
Madeline's portrait hangs in my living room.  This was taken when she was 2 years old, and according to my husband, there is no more beautiful little girl in the world!  I don't suppose he could be somewhat biased......
Mom has this same portrait hanging in her dining room at Stratford Court.  Not only is Madeline so beautiful and precious, she has on a dress that my cousin Ellen made for her.  The dress is white with blue smocking. Ellen also did the smocking and I admired that so much.  I never loved sewing, but I did it.  Smocking, on the other hand, is a unique talent.  I doubly admire something I don't know how to do.  It means so much that my sweet cousin lovingly made this dress for Madeline.  I think the dress makes Madeline all the more beautiful!
I surprised Jim with this portrait for Christmas in 1991.  He was overjoyed and moved by this gift.  Every time I look at it, I see my beautiful, angelic daughter; I am reminded of my lovely, talented cousin;  and I feel the emotional love of a father for his daughter.  The camera definitely captured a lot of thought this time.

Madeline has a lot of pictures in her room.  She has two bulletin boards with countless photographs of Eric, her friends, brothers, and cousins.  I am sure that she will change these around, as she is better than I am about doing that.  She likes to keep things current! 
Madeline's little powder room even has a small photograph of her in a cute little frame with ballet shoes on it.  Her bathroom seems a bit juvenile to her, but I think it's lovely.   It has a wide wallpaper border with blue pointe shoes on it and I have her first pair of pointe shoes hanging on the wall.  There are also some framed prints and other dance related items in there to complete the decor.  I did take down the ballerina figurines from the shelf in there and replaced them with her minature perfume bottle collection.  I think that little bathroom is my last gasp of hanging onto Madeline's childhood.  I have so many incredible memories of her years and years of dance.

My dining room also has photographs.  On one small wall I have each of my children's high school senior portraits hanging.  I thought at the time each of those portraits were made that my children looked so old and grown up.  Now I look and them and wonder where the time has gone.    
On my buffet, I used to have some minature framed pictures of my mom when she was in her teens and early 20's.  I took them down, temporarily, in order to make room for 2 vases that came from Mom's house.  They were vases that I didn't really plan to use.  I thought Mom might use them, but there was no place for them at Stratford Court.  Actually, it is amazing how they look like they belong on my buffet!  I love them.  It is surprising how these things worked out.  It probably was just divine intervention.  I walk through my house now and I see the same house I have always loved, yet it is intertwined with bits and pieces of 108 Lynhurst Lane.  It is as if it were meant to be.  Actually, I am sure it was meant to be.
I have a picture on Madeline in her christening gown in a small crystal frame in my dining room as well.  Again, my talented cousin, Ellen, made this christening gown.  It is so beautiful.  I know a lot of this generation of cousins wore that gown.  I'm sure Ellen knows all the details, but it is so special because it was handmade and it was shared.

My kitchen probably has the most pictures of all....thanks to the trusty refrigerator which holds a multitude of photographs.  I have a lot of pictures on the front of my refrigerator and several on either side.  It is like having a giant bulletin board!  Speaking of, I have a built in bulletin board at my desk which also houses a few photographs.  I have some framed photos on the kitchen counter.  One of these is a picture of Leo in a handmade frame from my sister in law, Linda.  It makes me smile every time I look at it.  She made a frame out of one of my favorite seashells called Cat's Paws.  It is adorable and the shells match the fur on little Leo.
I also have a few framed pictures on another counter.  They are next to the sink so I look at them often.  I am forever washing my hands or doing various things in the kitchen that involve the sink.  One of these pictures I brought directly from Mom's....frame and all.  It is a picture of Madeline in a cute little frame.  I think I had given it to Mom one Christmas.  Another picture came from Mom's.  It is a picture of my Aunt Madeline.  I love it.  It looks exactly like I remember her.  The frame also came from Mom's, although it wasn't the frame that Madeline's picture was in.  It worked out nicely and not only brings back a flood of memories, the frame matches my kitchen very well!
I also have a really cool frame in my breakfast room that says 'Cousins are friends from the same family tree.'  The picture in the frame is of me and all my female Porter cousins.  It was taken in front of Martha's huge and beautiful Christmas tree.  My male cousins, Scott and Bill, are not in this picture, but again, there's something about girls and photographs!  One day I'd love to have a cousin picture that includes Bill and Scott.  It could never replace the photo I have in the frame right now because Martha is in the picture I have.  It is a memory captured by the camera that I can relive time and time again. 

I have a picture of my three kids in a frame in my guest room.  Also in that room I have some pictures of the beach and of gulls and sandpipers.  They are photos I took and I have them displayed in frames I made out of seashells.  The beach is my sanctuary.  I find so much beauty and peace at the beach.  As much as I love my house, I would love to wake up each morning and have coffee on a balcony overlooking the beach.  I feel so close to God at the beach.  It is truly serenity for me. I think it is the only place that makes me feel like I can truly relax.

My computer/craft/guest room has some photos in it as well.  I have some pictures I took at Honeymoon Island in frames, and I also have pictures of the kids and me at Clearwater Beach and other beaches we have visited.  I guess it is obvious that my boys' old bedrooms are now rooms with other purposes and both are my "beach rooms."  I just hope Jimmy and Joe know that any time I have either of them sleeping in their old beds I am a happy mama!  The rooms don't look like they did when the boys lived in them, but they still have invisible Welcome signs on the doors.

The little hallway that connects these bedrooms has a bookshelf and a table.  These have several pictures on them.  It is an odd collection ranging from a picture of me and Daddy in front of Porter Brothers when I was about 3 years old to a current photo of Madeline and me in a wooden frame that I made. 
The best part about this back hallway is the art gallery I have created.  I have several paintings displayed that my son, Joseph, painted.  I also have one painting that Madeline did.  I am anxious to add to my gallery.  I always appreciate talent and artistry, whether it comes from my own kids or not.  Looking at these paintings and realizing where they did come from takes me back a bit.
My back bathroom has a recent photograph of the sunset at Honeymoon Island.  It is framed in a beautiful frame that Linda made for me.  It looks like she made the frame while looking at the photo.  It is quite lovely with it's orange and yellow hues.

Second only to my kitchen, my den has quite a collection of photos.  I recently rearranged the built-in bookcase so that I could include many photos I brought from Mom's house.  I have an old picture of my beautiful Aunt Jessie, an old photo of the entire Porter crew and one of my Mom's parents.  I never knew my grandfather as he died long before I was born.  In fact, Mom was only 14.  This picture is priceless.  I don't think there are many photos of Marshall Davis Humphries around.  My grandparents are holding a baby in the photograph.  It was my mom's baby sister, Fernia.  Fernia died at a very young age.  I think she was only 2 or 3.  This might be the only picture of Fernia left.  Again, this is a treasure.
I have a picture of Mom when she was in her early 20's on my end table.  Some people think Madeline looks like Mom in this picture.  There are many other pictures in my den.  There are pictures of my children, my dear sister, and my bridge group.  All I need to do to feel blessed is to look aroud this room and see all the wonderful people who have been instrumental in molding me into who I am today.

My laundry room is no exception!  I have a little photo of Jim sitting in front of a spectacular sunset.  I took this picture in the Bahamas at an outdoor restaurant where we had dinner with our children.  Madeline was only about 2, so this picture isn't recent.  I just love the photo for many reasons.  It reminds me of this fantastic family vacation we took, God's handiwork in the beautiful setting sun, and of my wonderfully handsome and faithful husband.  It is one of my favorite pictures of him.  (It surely makes doing laundry more fun!)

Whenever someone points a camera at you and says "Say Cheese," you should willingly oblige.  You have no idea what moment has been preserved or what thought or emotion has been captured for the viewer. 
My dad never believed in throwing away pictures because you didn't look fantastic....maybe 10 pounds overweight, no lipstick on, a wrinkled shirt or a haphazard smile.  He always said that apparently that was exactly how you looked at that exact moment.
This is just one more way I am like my Daddy.

"Most things in life are moments of pleasure and a lifetime of embarrassment;  photography is a moment of embarrassment and a lifetime of pleasure."  So says Tony Benn, and I concure.
And memories are made of this.




Antique Chest from Mom's
(now full of scrapbooks)









Madeline's 'Shrine' in Mom's breakfast room

 

Martha and Mary (with fuzzy kitten)

on the stairwell photo gallery at Mom's



Madeline, Madeline, Madeline





Jessie and the Porter children on my bookshelf in the den



My Grandparents:  Porters and Humphries (with Fernia)



Me on Woodside Drive



Madeline and Joseph (taken at Mom's in Shelby)



Jimmy, Joseph and Paul Porter (so handsome....in my den)



In my den



My refrigerator



Side of my refrigerator



Madeline



Cousins are Friends from the same Family Tree



Madeline's Christening



Joseph, Jimmy and Madeline
Senior Portraits



Joseph, Jimmy and Madeline
(in a frame Madeline made for me for Christmas one year)



Precious Madeline
(dress by Ellen Warlick)



Our Wedding
Our Dads



Youthful Me



Jim and Madeline
(in another handmade frame by Madeline)



Daddy and Me
in front of the old Porter Brothers building



Martha and Me at her wedding
(taken from Mom's house in Shelby)





Martha's wedding portrait

in Mom's dining room in Shelby





Serenity

 

White Blouses

Mom loves white blouses.  She loves to wear them and she loves to see other people wear them.  I never realized how much Mom really loves white blouses until I was helping her move.  I opened a closet in her guest bathroom and I actually laughed out loud.   The room is pink....very pink.  As much as I love pink, this room is almost overwhelming.  What stared out at me from that closet was a surprise.  I feel like I know my Mom well, but this was so interesting to me.

The closet was filled.....I mean the entire rack......with white blouses.  Not white tee shirts.  Not white jackets or white pants.  It was just white blouses.  They hung there neatly on their hangers.  There were all sorts of styles, but one thing remained true.  They were white.  Not beige, not ecru, not tan, not even ivory.  They were white.  The contrast was blaring from the room with the bold Pepto-Bismol pink wallpaper and maroon colored carpet.

(In spite of the sounds of it, the pink bathroom is really quite lovely.  It has just been the brunt of many jokes throughout the years.)

I have a lot of photos on my refrigerator.  I have always loved to display pictures this way.  I am a nut about taking a lot of photographs and I love to receive photos that other people send me.  The worst part of this is finding a place to display them.  I have found that the refrigerator is a great receptacle for this.  You can fit a lot of pictures on a refrigerator.  I noticed that I have several pictures of Mom on my refrigerator....all taken at different times and for different occasions.  In all but one of the photos, Mom is wearing white.

When we were packing up for the move, I kept telling Mom she had to pare down some of her stuff.  Namely, her clothes.  I knew closet space was limited at Stratford Court.  Mom had a hard time deciding on which clothes to take....the white blouses were no exception.  We took a lot of clothes to Goodwill, so I'm sure there are many people out there wearing some of Mom's white blouses.  I'm glad we were able to put them to good use.  

Still, it was a difficult decision deciding which white blouses to pack for the move and which white blouses to give away and/or leave behind.  This was just one of many decisions  that had to be made.

Mom really looks good in white.  She often has a sweater or jacket on top of her white blouse, but the white obviously shows.    I have always thought she seemed to be extremely well-dressed.  Maybe I never realized that it could be because of those crisp white blouses!

One of the first things I think about when I think about wearing white all the time is Diane Keaton.  I cannot remember seeing a picture of her or seeing her in a film when she doesn't have on white.  It's funny how this was so very noticeable even more than I noticed it on my own Mom!  I love Diane Keaton and I think she's a classy woman....just like Mom.  She has a sort of ease and a comfortable way about her.

I was thinking about the color white and all the things associated with the color.  I decided to look on Wikipedia, which is the easiest 'go to' place for information about anything at any time.  According to Wikipedia:  "Since white is the extreme end of the visual spectrum (in terms of both hue and shade), and since white objects--such as clouds, snow and flower--appear often in nature, it has frequent symbolism.  Human culture has many references to white, often related to purity and cleanness, whilst the high contrast between white and black is often used to represent opposite extremes."

I think most of us think of purity, cleanliness and brightness when we think of the color white.

I am probably just in the 'wedding mode' since my daughter's recent engagement.  We love to talk about all things wedding related.  Of course, central to this discussion is the wedding dress.  No one can deny that a beautiful bride walking down the aisle in her dress of white is truly a vision to behold.   It can definitely bring a tear to one's eye.

Just recently, Madeline, Mom and I were talking about those tears that can come at moments such as these. We decided that we have a lot of 'saps' in our family and that there will surely be tears when Madeline and Eric get married.  But as Mom said, "they will be happy tears." 

We have all shed a lot of tears this year.  It will be a nice change for the tears we shed to be happy ones.

Angels also come to mind when thinking about the color white.  They are usually depicted in white gowns with white feathery wings.  This, too, is a sight to bring a tear to one's eye.  I know in my life I have many angels looking over me.....some from above and some right here on earth.  

One of my earthly angels just happens to have a closet full of white blouses.

I think that the color white is associated with goodness and pleasantries from a very early age.  Remember in grammar school drawing an obligatory picture of a house with green grass and a blue sky?  I know I always drew fluffy white clouds in my blue sky.

I remember as a child laying in the newly mown grass on a warm summer's day looking up at those fluffy white clouds in the sky.  It was fun to tell all the things that you saw in those beautiful white clouds.  It's amazing how a cloud can look like a furry kitten, a castle, or even a tree.  Cloud formations can be an infinite source of entertainment and inspiration.

In old Westerns, the good guys wore white hats....the bad guys wore black hats.  Simple as that.  The contrast between white and black being synonymous with the contrast of good and evil has been around for quite some time.  Just look at the yin/yang symbol.  The black/white thing is very evident there and has been familiarized as opposites or good versus evil.  I think in reality, the Chinese created this symbol to show how opposites are interconnected and ebb and flow with each other.  It is a symbol of balance.  Our Western culture has simply taken on the simplistic idea of the Yin and Yang, meaning black/white opposites.  The liturgical robes of priests are certainly considered good, as opposed to the black dress of a witch.  However, Glenda, the GOOD witch in The Wizard of Oz, wore white.  Black cats and black magic are associated with evil....well, at least superstitions and bad luck....not goodness.  The comparisons and lists go on and on, but given a simplistic questionnaire about the colors of black and white, the majority of people would associate the white as being good, pleasant, clean and pure.

I think having a mom who is obsessed with wearing white isn't really a bad thing at all.  No, I'd say it's a very good thing, symbolically speaking.

Recently Jim and I went over to visit Mom.  She told me I looked good in white.  I basically had on black slacks and a solid white vee neck tee shirt. It certainly wasn't anything special, but the white shirt definitely must have jumped out at Mom in order to prompt her to say such a thing to me.  I guess I will emulate my mother and start wearing more white shirts!

Mom sometimes complains about gaining weight.  I guess maybe she's truthful about this, but my eyes certainly don't see it.  I do know she enjoys food and eating. Who wants to give up something as pleasurable as an occasional Butterfinger bar or an ice cream cone from Sungroves?   Mom says she needs some new blouses since her old ones don't button!  I think she's totally exaggerating, but I know that if she feels that her weight gain isn't a good thing, she needs to be convinced otherwise.

Or better yet......just buy new blouses, I told her!

When we were talking about wearing white and my white tee shirt that I was wearing that day, Mom told me that if she had to give up every color in her wardrobe except one, the one color she'd have to keep would be white!

There.  That seals the deal.

I guess we all have our little idiosyncrasies and rather strong feelings about something that no one else would "get."  I also suppose we all have a closet somewhere in our house full of something that might make someone else laugh or shy away.  It is usually something that  says a lot about us and who we are.  I know I have a closet so full of this organized chaos I call my craft supplies.  I think it can be overwhelming to others when they see it (sometimes it is overwhelming to me!).  Nonetheless, it is a closet full of something that is so much "me."  It overwhelms my daughter and makes my mom say it gives her a headache to look at it!  Mom has white blouses, I have craft supplies.  My husband actually has old golf clubs and an old bowling ball that he'll never use again in his closet amongst his clothes.  Giving up trusty, old sporting equipment is not easy for him.  Madeline has a literal menagerie of stuffed animals on the top shelf of her closet.  It can make most anyone chuckle, or at least smile, when they see it.  I really remember buying all those beanie babies....but that is another story.

So whether you are clinging onto old sports equipment, too many shoes or clothes, a stuffed animal collection that you have clearly outgrown or more craft supplies than you'll ever be able to use in your lifetime, your closeted treasures can say a lot about the person you are.

And I know that memories are made of this.

Yes, it's pink!

An angel wears white

The Table is Set

I wonder how many times I have set the table in my lifetime.  I love to cook.  I love to entertain.  Parties make my heart sing.  I love to have company.  I love to decorate and make things look nice.  I like to create.  I love holidays.  I love table talk.  I love to make people feel 'at home' in my home.  The table can set a tone for all of these things.

When I was a little girl I never minded being asked to set the table.  I learned at an early age that the fork went on the left, the knife and spoon on the right with the knife blade turned towards the plate and the spoon on the outside.  I learned how to fold a napkin in half and neatly place it under the fork.  I learned to put the glass above the knife and spoon.  Yes, setting a table has always come easily to me.
I even remember the silverware we used when I set the table as a young girl.  In fact, Mom was still using that very silverware up until she moved to Florida a few months ago.  Just before she moved she gave a lot of the silverware to Joseph.  Being a man of simple needs, he viewed it as a nice gift of necessity and functionality.  I am sure his girlfriend, Ashley, appreciated having a nice set of flatware that matched and would make a lovely table setting.  I imagine one day she will feel as I do about setting a table.

I also remember the dishes we used when I was a little girl.  We had a set of plastic dishes that we usually used.  They were very sturdy and functional, but most importantly they were unbreakable.  However, we also had a set of dishes that Daddy bought in California for Mom.  They are very heavy off-white dishes with scalloped edges and a green ivy pattern on them.  I think they are just retro enough to be fashionable again.  I hope so since I use these dishes very often!  Yes.  They are in my kitchen cabinet and have been for over 20 years.  I love these dishes and always have.  I have never been one to worry about whether or not they are in vogue.  I love what I love and that is all that matters.  I guess my sentimentality creeps in so often that I have to feel that way!  I have come to realize that more and more as time goes by.  I also realize how much our family 'shares' things.  We pass things around.  I think it is wonderful that different people in the family get to enjoy these things.  It is such a wonderful way to carry on family traditions and history.
Mom always says she doesn't remember anything and never has!  I am not so sure about that, but I must say I have an excellent memory.  I think it is partly because I do like to use the things that have been passed down through the generations.  It makes me ask questions and it makes me remember.

I always view setting the table as a prelude to something special.  We set the table before our daily meals.  The meal can be simple and unimpressive, but nevertheless, our daily meals serve as nourishment for our bodies and often a time of togetherness and conversation.  I will admit, reluctantly, that my table setting for Jim and myself these days consists of setting out a fork, knife, plate and napkin on the counter.  We are guilty of filling our plates and going to our chairs in the family room and 'dining' as we watch "Wheel of Fortune" and "Jeopardy."  I swore this would never happen.  When we were raising our 3 children we sat at the table for all of our meals, regardless of the menu or the occasion.  We ate together and had conversation.  I guess 'easy chair dining' is a bonus for reaching empty-nest status.
We set the table for birthday dinners, Thanksgiving, Christmas and other family gatherings.  We set the table when we have friends over to eat.  We set the table when we are having a romantic meal for two on Valentine's Day or an Anniversary....or just because.  We set the table for bridge luncheons and neighborhood potluck dinners.  Magic, laughter, nostalgia, and interesting stories can arise from sitting around a table.

I think my friends and family know my interests and love for cooking and entertaining.  I have received so many wonderful gifts.  Each time I pull out the ceramic pitcher with cats on it, I immediately think of my dear friend Anita.  She has given me some fantastic artistic items through the years....many with cats on them.  Good friends know what you like.  The lovely glass wine stopper reminds me of Dee.  The coasters with flowers on them remind me of my friend, Susan and her students with whom I used to volunteer.  The cat mug that I drink my coffee in each morning reminds me of my friend, Pat and my other favorite coffee mug with my name on it reminds me of my friend, Marilyn.
Martha always gave me housewares.....particularly kitchen items.  I think of her so very often when I am cooking.  I think cooking is not only a hobby for me, but it is a time of reflection because it's just me in the kitchen doing what I love and enjoying the peaceful time.  Sometimes I just pull out a bowl or platter that Martha gave me one Christmas that makes me think of her.  Sometimes I find myself chuckling as I recall how desperately she hated sharp knives and I would laugh at the way she chopped things.  I'll bet the set of sharp paring knives I gave her one Christmas is still in the package in her kitchen!  She could not understand why I boiled my chicken before putting it in a casserole or how I could possibly eat smoked turkey.
I guess I'll know that I will always have the memory of Martha whenever I am in the kitchen.  So many of the 'set table' occasions included her.  We spent our lives together for holidays, birthday dinners, Christenings, parties, bridge, church socials and most any other reason to set a table.  I surely do miss her.

We set the table according to the occasion, the season, the menu, and the guests.  Sometimes paper plates and plastic forks are quite appropriate.  What better way to enjoy baked beans, deviled eggs, and a burger on the grill?  I remember painting some styrofoam cups for Mom to give her friends.  They said 'Weekend Waterford'.  I will take credit for creating them but not for the idea.  Mom and Martha saw these in a store in Atlanta.  Weekend Waterford is quite appropriate for a summer cookout on the lanai!
Christmas dinner is the time when I drag out my Christmas china.  This is a lot of trouble, but it has always been worth it to me.  Christmas is my favorite time of year and I have always been really into decorating, cooking and of course, setting an appropriate Christmas table!
We all have 'everyday dishes.'  I happen to have several sets.  I have the ivy dishes that I grew up with.  They are the good everyday dishes.  When we eat in front of the TV, we have nice light weight plastic dishes that settle well in our laps!
Fine china is always a treat.  I love pulling out my Lenox Castle Garden.  It is the bone china I chose for my wedding registry.  Whenever I use it I feel so many memories.  I loved it when I chose it 36 years ago and I love it just as much, if not more, today.  Using this china tells me it is a very special occasion!  I love using it. I enjoy setting the table with my finery.
Thanksgiving dinner has to be one my all time favorite tables to set.  I love the fall decor and colors.  I always use candles and leaves and all sorts of fall-ish decorations.  Sometimes I use my fine china and sometimes I use the ivy dishes....they sort of match the whole fall decor!  Thanksgiving dinner is a time to reflect on our many blessings.  It is also a time of family fellowship.  The Yeltons have been coming to Florida for several years and it has become one of our favorite traditions.  One year when they were here, my cousin Patty and her husband and 5 children came for Thanksgiving dinner as well.  It was truly a wonderful day of fellowship.
In addition to loving the cooking and decorating, I am also a bit of a dork!  I love to play games and I love to involve my guests.  I usually create some sort of game to play during Thanksgiving dinner.  My family has learned to tolerate it and after they roll their eyes at my 'dorkiness,' I think they will all admit that they love it.      
  Just ask Porter.

I also love to organize things.  The other day I was organizing a set of silver.  It is Mom's silver.  The good stuff.   I helped her pack to move to Florida and I honestly thought she might use her International Silver, Morning Glory pattern.  When we got here, she said she had no use for it.  She told me to take it to my house for Madeline or whomever.  I organized it in the silver chest she had.  Of course, she had the pieces in baggies just thrown in the chest.  That didn't suit me!  I like to organize and I like to sit back and admire the organization (I said I had a bit of dorkiness in me).  I think it has to do with my artistic eye and the fact that I have so many hobbies and things I like to make and do that I MUST stay organized!
Anyway, after I organized Mom's silver, I got to thinking about setting the table and what it all means.  It isn't about the type of silverware or dishes you have.  It's all about the heart behind it.

Whenever I have Mom over to eat, I use her china and silver.  I not only think it is lovely, I want Mom to see the pleasure that her things are bringing to me and my family.  I also hope it brings a bit of nostalgia and a sense of home to her.

My Aunt Jessie was such a strong and positive influence in my life.  She was a wonderful influence in so many people's lives.  When she moved out of her home and into The Sterling House, she earmarked her silver for Madeline.  Jessie and I share the organizational gene.  She had her silver chest in perfect order.  She also hand wrote a note that this silver was for Madeline Fitzpatrick.  She signed and dated it.  I know I will keep that note with the silver for always.  I love having the memories.  Seeing Jessie's impeccable handwriting always sends a shiver down my spine.  Her writing, both the penmanship and the lovely words, is such a memory-jogger for me.  Her legacy will live on.  I have saved all the things she has written to me through the years.

Also in my home I have the silver I use.  When my Aunt Madeline passed away her husband, Fred, came to me and told me that Madeline said she wanted me to have her silver.  I was a little taken aback.  I was very sad at her passing and receiving this silver was not what I felt like dealing with at the moment.  I tried to refuse it, but I saw that I was frustrating Fred, so I humbly took it.  For years it sat in a drawer at my house.  I couldn't use it.  It made me sad.  It made me miss her.  It made me wonder why she wanted me to have it.  I finally came to realize that I understand the importance of passing along these family treasures.  It is our heritage and it is our memories.  It was not for me to question.  I use the silver now and cherish the feelings it evokes in me.  My Aunt Madeline was truly a saint and I loved her so much.  My Dad thought the world of her.  She was the peacekeeper and calming presence in the family.  I was going to name Joseph Madeline.  Oops.  Can't name a boy Madeline.  I was going to name Jimmy Madeline.  Oops again!  Then finally our little angel, Madeline, came to us.  She has proven in every aspect of her being to live up to her namesake.

There is a story that has circled through our emails from time to time about an elderly woman who was terminally ill.  To make a long story short, she told her minister that she wanted to be buried with a fork in her right hand.  The minister was baffled by her request but she explained it to him.  She said that growing up she was always told to keep her fork.  That usually meant dessert was coming.  So she told the pastor, "remember to keep your fork...the best is yet to come."
I never forgot this story because I thought it was such a simplistic way to view our Glorious Reunion (as my Aunt Madeline always said) in heaven.  I also always remembered it because my Dad's favorite line to my Mom was "the best is yet to come."  I guess this terminally ill woman, my Aunt Madeline, and my daddy knew what they were talking about.  I imagine they are all enjoying their 'glorious reunion.'  So the next time you reach down for your fork, whether it be sterling silver, silver plated, or plastic, let it remind you oh so gently that the best is, indeed, yet to come.

Picnics, holiday dinners, birthday celebrations, tomato sandwich lunches, bridge brunches, TV dinners and cookouts are all reasons to set the table.  And memories are made of this.

Weekend  Waterford

Perfect 'glassware' for a cookout

The table is set.....
for Christmas Dinner

Madeline and Porter cooking for Thanksgiving Dinner
(oh law!)

Bob seriously preparing for our
Thanksgiving Dinner Family Trivia Game

Playing Family Trivia Game as we eat

Jessie's King Edward silver
(as neatly as she left it!)

Jessie's silver

My silver from Madeline

Mom's Morning Glory silver
(after I organized it!)

One of the few spoons left from our 'everyday' silverware
from our wedding registry

Our 'everyday' flatware
that we use today