Turn About is Fair Play

I have spent months writing about the things in Mom's house....so many of which are now in my house.  Well, I got to thinking about all the things that WERE in my house that ended up in Mom's house.  As they say, turn about is fair play!

When Jim and I bought our house on Hillside Drive in Shelby, there was a chandelier...in the bedroom!  It wasn't our taste, particularly in the bedroom.  Had it been in the dining room, we may have felt differently.  Anyway, we chose to take it down and replace it with something a little less ornate (actually a LOT less ornate!)  I will admit, it is a beautiful and intricate chandelier, it just wasn't working for us at the time.

Mom couldn't believe we didn't want the chandelier, so she took it.  I don't really know where she planned to put it, but she couldn't let it go!  I don't really blame her, understanding her love for such lovely and unique things. 

I remember when we sold our house on Ridgeview Drive, there was a beautiful chandelier over the dining room table.  It was one of those to-die-for chandeliers.  When the new owners invited Mom to come over and see the house, she was sick to notice that chandelier was gone!  I guess not everyone has the taste for such fancy and beautiful crystal chandeliers.  This memory is probably why Mom wanted to take the chandelier that Jim and I didn't want.  It's hard to let go of beautiful things.

Well, long story short, that chandelier from our Hillside Drive house is now in my garage here in Florida 24 years later!  It was never hung anywhere, and the crystals are all loose and in need of repair.  However, I am trying to figure out a way to get this chandelier hung in my dining room. It will take some drilling, rewiring, and ceiling repair, but I think it will be worth it.  I have been wanting one in there,  and after packing up Mom's house and moving so much of her stuff down here....that chandelier included....I have about decided that it is time to hang it.  It will hold a lot of sentimental value.....not to mention it will be a beautiful addition to my home.

The chandelier Mom left behind in the dining room of her house on Lynhurst Lane puts this chandelier to shame.  It is absolutely gorgeous, and if I could imagine it in my house in any way shape or form, I would move it here.  It is just much too large and formal for my house, but it is truly a masterpiece.  I guess whoever buys Mom's house will luck into that one.

I have already blogged about the lovely clock that was Jessie's that is now mine.  I proudly display this pink and white ceramic clock in my living room.  It doesn't match nor does the style of it go with my decor, but guess what?  I really don't care.  That clock brings so many things to me each time I look at it.  It is truly now one of the most cherished pieces in my home.

It was Jessie's and I can picture it on a side table in her living room.  When she gave it to me, I was stressed out about moving it to Florida....not to mention it didn't go with my decor.  When I realized how beautiful it looked in Mom's living room, I told her to "babysit" it for a while.  And she did for several years.  But now Mom is in Florida and that clock came down with her.  She doesn't have a place for it at Stratford Court, and it is mine, so I decided to find a place for it...right or wrong.  Needless to say, it has become a conversation piece and I smile each time I look at it.  Who cares that it doesn't match?  It was Jessie's and now it's mine!

On a totally different note, the Barbies that were Martha's and mine are now in my garage with Madeline's name on them.  I know Eric will be overjoyed to have a couple of boxes full of old Barbies and their clothes moved into their home once they are married! 

I have always loved dolls.  I got them and loved them and took care of them.  Yes.  Martha had a Barbie the first year they were ever made!  She was definitely "hip" that way!  Martha learned many years later that the Barbies from the original run were quite valuable.  The way you could tell was to see a hole in the bottom of the left foot of the Barbie.  Martha called me and asked me to check her Barbies for left foot holes.  I did.  They were not from the original run, but they were from the first year that Barbie was made.  I think that is pretty cool!

Martha outgrew the dolls she really was never into in the first place.  I was one of those dorky kids that saved all my allowance (except for the 50 cents per week I pledged to the church) so I almost always had some money stashed away.  Martha, on the other hand, was more of a spender.  I don't think she was wrong in her spending.  I just think Martha had a flair for living, and living she did!  I am happy that her shortened life was blessed with an abundance of experiences.

Anyway, Martha gladly "sold" me her Barbies and the Barbie accessories.  I paid her my allowance in order to be the proud owner of all the Barbies and their lovely clothes!  Madeline inherited my love and passion for these dolls, and I will never forget that at age 22 she called me when I was in Shelby packing up Mom's house to move to Florida to tell me not to forget HER Barbies!

So, Eric,  Madeline AND her Barbies are yours now.

Jim and I bought our dream home on Fairway Drive in Shelby.  I don't think either of us will ever get over missing that house.  It was the perfect house for us in so many ways.  It was on the golf course.  I used to tease Jim because he had a little office (which we wallpapered in a golf theme) that had a window that overlooked the golf course.  I worried that he'd never get any work done for staring out at the golf course, but instead, it just made him happy and motivated, so he did do his work and he did it well!

I loved the huge country kitchen.  That kitchen and the front porch with rocking chairs that overlooked the rollling hills of the golf course were enough to make me feel like I was in heaven.  Being a beach person, that says a lot.  That is how beautiful our lot was.  I was content to rock on that front porch rather than sit at the beach.

When we moved into the house, there was a lovely carved screen that separated the breakfast room from the kitchen.  I liked it, but I was more interested in an open area that fulfilled my love of cooking with being a mother of three.  I needed to be able to see what was going on at all times, and I just love open and bright spaces.

This screen was too pretty to get rid of so Mom took it and put it upstairs in her little office room.  It is still in the corner and I love it.  It is interesting how a piece can look different and feel different depending on the area where you put it.  I love the passing back and forth of the pieces.  As I have said....turn about is fair play.

I don't know where this piece will end up, but I am sure it will stay in the family somehow.

And speaking of Mom's upstairs, I still laugh when I go in the bathroom up there!  It is papered with the wallpaper I ordered for my dining room in our house in Raleigh.  I still love the wallpaper, and surprisingly, it looks great in this bathroom although it was purchased for a dining room!  I couldn't return the paper and Mom was just finishing this bathroom so she offered to take it.  I couldn't use the wallpaper because it was more orangey than maroon, but the paper itself is lovely.  30 some years later, this paper looks awesome in Mom's bath!  Go figure.

When I lived on Hillside Drive, I had these two prints hanging on the wall in my dining room.  They were inexpensive simply framed prints, but they matched and looked great with my decor.  They were prints of vases and flowers.  They had a bit of a southwestern flair, which doesn't usually appeal to me (or Mom).   When we moved, Mom said she wanted them for her upstairs office room.....the same room where she put the carved screen!  I think this upstairs room was quickly becoming a room furnished with my things rather than hers.  Turn about is fair play.

There are so many other things that have passed back and forth.  One is a pencil drawing done by Roger Holland.  He was a dear friend of mine in high school and we took art classes together.  No matter how artistic I thought I might be, I recognized that Roger was truly the epitome of the artist that I wanted to be.  He had a raw talent and I am sure that is why he is now the successful architect that he is. 

I think we had an assignment in art class and Roger's result was a pencil drawing of his bedroom at home.  It was an amazing drawing and very neat and detailed.  He depicted his room with skis, balls, art supplies and other things cluttering the room.  It definitely looked like the room of a teenage boy.  I loved the drawing and was so impressed by the talent of this sweet guy.

The drawing was matted and I think it was entered into one of the art shows at SHS.  I don't know if it won any ribbons or not (it should have), but all I remember was that Roger gave it to me.  He told me it was the first piece of art he had ever given away.  Trust me, I held it near and dear to my heart, because I am a humble artist myself and I know the impact of giving away a little piece of yourself.

Long story short....this piece is "missing."  I know it is at my Mom's house as I have looked at it from time to time.  Somehow we can't find it.  I guess this (and one other thing we can't find) will remain a huge mystery until it can be found.

I remember that this piece went with me to Elon for my dorm room and it came back to Shelby when I came back.  I saw it and enjoyed it many times.  I know it is in that house somewhere.   I can't wait to uncover it.  This drawing is awesome and meaningful and I can't bear the thought of it being lost.  I feel proud to be the recipient of this wonderful piece of artwork.

There were so many things in Mom's house that were earmarked for me.  I appreciate that she noticed what I wanted/needed.  I am such a sentimental sap.  I wish I didn't have such emotional ties to so many things!  There isn't the space for all the things I cherish.  Fortunately, I am willing to rearrange my house a bit, and I have three children who might like to have some of these things to remember their Grandmother by.

It is probably a good thing that Porter already took the Swarovski crystal figures and put them in his room.  He wanted them and I am delighted that he has them.  I just want him to know that I was with Mom when she bought them.  It was a hoot and one of the more memorable moments in my life!  My enjoyment of these pieces is more in the story behind them than the pieces themselves.  I am sure Porter will let me come over and enjoy them whenever I want!  His Mom loved them and I think they probably remind him of his mom as much as they do of my mom.  And that's a beautiful thing.

Mom bought the Swarovski crystal pieces in NYC.  I love NY.  I wouldn't want to live there, but there is no more "happening" place in the world.  I dream of seeing a Broadway show daily!  It is my passion aand has been since my Daddy introduced me to the Broadway theater when I was 12 or 13.  But that is a whole other story.....

Anyway, Carol Rose was/is a dear friend of mine and I knew that her mother-in-law and my mom were friends.  I so wanted to go on a trip with my Mom.  We need to work on making memories.

Patsy and Carol were on board, so I talked it over with Mom and we all went to NYC!  It was 1991 or sometime around then.

Carol and I still laugh about feeling like Lucy and Ethel when we went into the store where Mom bought these large Swarovski figurines. 

Even a back room and a promise of a class of wine or a special drink didn't prepare Carol or me from what transpired!   We both agreed that we definitely represented Lucy and Ethel.  I will never forget the moment...loved being with my dear friend and my mom .  But the whole experience seemed so surrreal.  I am just glad that everyone enjoyed just hanging out and relishing the moment even though it felt like the filming of an "I Love Lucy" episode.  We sat in the back room of this antique shop and 2 guys with their gold chains and silky shirts were so enamored by these 4 southern ladies.  I think they had us "hooked," and I guess they did, because Mom did buy all the crystal and I think the rest of us each bought something.  They were bringing Persian rugs with price tags that left Carol and I speechless and rolling them out for us to admire.  They were fast talkers and had plenty of stuff to show us!

I guess you had to be there to truly appreciate the sight, but I know I will never forget what Mom went through to get those Swarovski figures.  I know Porter will appreciate them, and I know that had he been able to experience the shopping experience with us first hand, he'd get a kick out of it!  But Porter always appreciates a good story, so this will be one 'for the books!'

I painted a picture when I was in high school (probably in one of the classes I shared with Roger Holland) of some blue denim high top sneakers with little children crawling on them.  It is a weird painting, but I sort of like it.  The shoes were actually shoes I wore (I guess in my less "preppie" stage) and the children crawling on the shoes are inspired by old photographs of Martha and me.  I had it in my room on Ridgeview Drive and after I went off to college, Mom wanted to have the painting.  At this point I didn't care much for it and I certainly didn't want to haul it to Elon with me, so we had it framed and it hung for years and years in Mom's upstairs on Lynhurst Lane.

When Mom moved down here to Florida, Madeline said she loved the whole upstairs bedroom of Mom's house on Lynhurst Lane, and if she could choose anything from the house (in addition to the Barbie dolls), she would choose that bedroom.  No one else seemed interested in it at all, so that whole bedroom is now in my garage awaiting Madeline to get married and move it into her own home.  I couldn't help but bring back the "shoe painting," but I really couldn't find anywhere to hang it.  I put it out in the garage with Madeline's stuff and who knows, she may just want an old painting that her mom painted in high school hanging in her house!

Mom's bookshelves on Lynhurst Lane are filled with books.  She has a lot of bookshelves and to get that many books to fill them definitely took a bit of collaborating!  I still peruse the shelves whenever I go in there.  I know many of the books are mine and some are Martha's.  I think there are books from my cousin, Tony Hammock on that shelf.  I don't really have room in my house for more books, but if I did I would bring back all my old books, and perhaps some of the books that aren't mine.  I love books and always have.  I think most people in our family feel the same way.  These books have experienced the 'turn about is fair play' many times over!

I painted a little footstool when the boys were little.  It has painted on it Jimmy and Joe along with a smiley face.  It is at Mom's house upstairs in the guest room.  I don't exactly know how or why she ended up with my stool, but it is there.  Along with that stool is a wooden swivel chair.  It is the chair I used as a desk chair in my kitchen on Fairway Drive.  Again, I don't exactly know how it ended up at Mom's, but it did!  Turn about is fair play.

There is a little porcelain bunny that was mine.  I won it as a bridge prize one time.  I love the little bunny, but when I realized Mom's rabbit collection was growing and I knew she had admired my little bunny, I decided to give it to her one Christmas.  She enjoyed it with her collection for years.  When we were packing her stuff to move, she gave a rabbit from her collection to several different people.  A lot of people said they wanted one of the rabbits to remember her by.  They associate the rabbits with Mom because of her big collection.  Anyway, I wasn't about to give away this little porcelain bunny, so I took it  back!  I am not really an Indian-giver, but I thought I might as well let that be the rabbit I took from Mom's as a rememberance.  It sits on a table in my extra bedroom/computer room/craft room.  The little bunny always makes me smile.

Sometimes it is hard to tell what's what and who an item belongs to.  I think it is interesting how we have managed to pass things back and forth between homes.  Sometimes they come back to the original place just like a boomerang.  Sometimes they stay put.

I guess that old saying "What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine" really rings true in our family!

It doesn't really matter who bought the item or whose house it was in or is in now, it is really in the sharing and the sheer enjoyment of these things.  It is important that the right thing end up with the right person at the right time.

And memories are made of this.

From My Dining Room to Mom's Upstairs Office Room

From My Room to Mom's Upstairs Bedroom

From My Dining Room to Mom's Upstairs Bathroom

From My Kitchen to Mom's Upstairs Office Room

Chandelier in Mom's house on Lynhurst Lane

From Mom's Foyer to Porter's Bedroom
(Wise Ole Owl)



St. Francis Entangled in Charlotte's Web

When Sally first nudged me straight into doing this blog for Mom's home and her things, I immediately began taking pictures at Mom's house.  I thought that I shouldn't neglect the outside, which is a huge part of Mom's house, in my opinion.  I think it's because I love the outdoors so much.  On visits to Mom's, I would take my book/kindle/ipad/a glass of tea/the crossword puzzle from the paper/whatever outside to the table and chairs she had at the top of her driveway.  I would sit and read or play on the computer or call/text my family or check my email.  I just loved being outside.  Mom, not being such an outdoors person, said to me incredulously on one of these visits:  "You just love being outside, don't you?"  To which I simply replied, "Yes."

When I got out my camera to take pictures of the memorable things I wanted to write about, I only took 2 pictures outside.  In hindsight, I can think of several other things I could have photographed.  Maybe someday I will run across pictures of the things I have in mind and I can add the photos to this blog.  Otherwise, I can simply write about them.

The two photos I took were of a statue in the back yard of St. Francis of Assissi and a spiderweb.  I went outside to walk around and photograph when I saw this amazing spiderweb hanging on the edge of Mom's carport.  I couldn't help looking at it and finally photographing it.  I have always had a fascination with the intricateness and artistry of a spiderweb.

St. Francis was a patron saint of animals and that is why so many gardens and lawns have a statue of him.  I know how much I enjoy watching the birds, squirrels, and butterflies in my yard.  My cat, Leo, loves watching them too!
Homer loved animals, particularly dogs, so it doesn't surprise me that he had a statue of St. Francis in the yard.  It was one of those things I didn't think much about, but once I walked around the yard, I realized just how fitting this was.

Another interesting thing in Mom's home and ironically involving St. Francis, was a lovely wooden statue that she had displayed in her foyer.  It was St. Francis and she loved this statue even though she isn't really an animal lover.  I think depictions of St. Francis are always of a loving and kind-looking man.  It is easy to be drawn to these statues.   The statue in Mom's foyer was no exception.  It did get a lot of comments from people coming to visit and entering through the front door. 
When Martha married Bob, they moved into his house on Forest Hill Drive.  It was a great house, and Martha was happy to have such a lovely home to share with her new husband.  Of course, through the years, Martha made a lot of changes to the house and turned it into an even more beautiful home.  I know  Bob and Porter will always enjoy their home knowing that is has lovely touches of Martha all over it.  She, like Mom (and me too, I think) had a flair for decorating.  Whether or not others enjoyed or appreciated the taste, I know that is something these Porter women shared....our love of our homes.  I always tell Jim that no matter what ever happens, what finances are, where our lives' paths take us....I just want to keep my house, my home.  I love it.  It is my safe haven.  I know Martha and Mom felt the same way.  Mom has now had to move on, and I think she is a brave woman for being willing to leave her lovely home behind.  I think there just comes a time in our lives, perhaps, when moving on is the only thing that makes sense.  Mom is lucky that she has been able to recreate a mini version of her lovely home in her apartment at Stratford Court.  I think it is enough so that she is comfortable and feels like this has now become her home.  I know it isn't the same...it never will be again...she'll never have a place to put a concrete St. Francis statue in her yard again, nor will she ever encounter a lovely web intricately designed on the eaves of her home.  But I don't doubt that she realizes how fortunate she is to have had the years to experience all these simple (and some not so simple) aspects of life and home-ownership.

Anyway, when Martha moved into Bob's house, he had a lovely wooden St. Francis statue and my Mom loved it.  Mom always commented on it and said it was the one thing in that house that she coveted.  We all know that covetness (or greed) is one of those 7 deadly sins, and I know Mom never intended to commit this sin....I think it was truly just a form of flattery for such an exquisite piece of art.  Martha and Bob, being kind and generous, gave this statue to Mom for Christmas.  I have it all on video (VHS) and it is a lovely moment.  It was the first Christmas after my Daddy died, so it was emotional for us all, but the best part about it was the joy on Martha and Bob's faces as they surprised Mom with this wonderful gift.  It was a beautiful moment and I know it is something I will never forget.

When Mom was packing up to move to Florida, she gave that statue back to Bob.  I thought it was very fitting, and I know it wasn't something Bob would have ever expected.  It is just one of those kind and generous things that our family does.  The person/persons who will benefit most from the bond to an object is the one who should have it.  It is a simple concept, and I love the sentimentality of it all.

I never got to ask Mom where the St. Francis statue in her back yard came from, but I am making the assumption that it is one of the things Homer brought into her/their home once they were married and he left Charlotte.
Whatever the case may be, it is a lovely piece and I think of Homer whenever I see it.
Mom is in Florida now and that St. Francis statue is still in Shelby.  I am thinking it is something I might want to bring down here and put in my yard as a tribute and an honor to Homer and his love of animals , but even more so his love of a garden and a beautiful yard.

Homer did so much to turn a beautiful lot into a lovely showplace.  He loved gardening and making flowers come to life more than anyone I know.  Homer was known to take his day off and put on his hospital scrubs (not because he wanted to think about his work in the hospital, but because he wanted to be comfortable) and work in the yard for 8 to 10 hours without stopping except for maybe a quick tomato sandwich made from one of the delicious tomatoes out of his garden.

There is a row of pine trees across the back of Mom's property.  I remember my parents planting these trees thinking they would make a lovely privacy fence and a nice nature cove. 
As the pine trees grew, they did just as they were intended.  What was never considered was that they would become an ultimate playing field for the adventurous and creative grandchildren and their friends!
Madeline loved the area filled with pine needles that lay beneath the grove of pine trees in the back of  Grandma's yard.  Whenever her friends, like Leah Rose, David Royster, or Laura Hege would come over to Grandma's to play with her, they would go under the pines and make all sorts of scenarios come true.  I can just picture pirates, teachers, princesses, rock stars, country music singers and dragon-slayers!

Porter, too, loved playing beneath the pines.  Whenever we would come from Florida to visit, he and Madeline would enjoy lots of make-believe in this spot.  Mom tells me that whenever Porter would come visit her even when we weren't there, he enjoyed playing and making believe in this nature-born play place.  Who needs an arcade or McDonald's PlayPlace when you have one of God's natural creations right there waiting for your enjoyment?

Homer truly made Mom's home an outdoor wonderland.  One sad thing about visiting her after he died was that the yard would slowly look a little less green and colorful.  Homer's artisitic and magical touch was gone.  This is not to say that one can't go in the back yard and see that St. Francis statue and also 'see' Homer as he harvested a vegetable garden behind this statue and a lovely flower garden in the yard beyond the statue.
Homer even convinced Mom to put a little trinkling fountain in an alcove in the backyard that was under the window to their breakfast room.  I don't think this is something my Mom would have wanted or considered had it not been for Homer.  He quietly had his own thoughts and ideas, and he was an endearing man because of that.
Homer actually got away with a lot....birdfeeders, piles of dirt and compost in the yard, spilled dirt and clippings ever-present in the trunk and backseat of his car, mud tracks into the house, and bushels of zuchinni and eggplant that Mom never intended to 'put up' or cook, no matter what.  But we are all thankful that Homer plodded on.  The sunshine of his life endured and respected his passions.  I know the lawn at 108 Lynhurst Lane was never happier than when Homer Justis was its parent.  His tender-loving care did not go unnoticed or unappreciated.

The other thing that I photographed outside Mom's was a spiderweb.  Normally a spiderweb would not have made me want to grab my camera, but this web was different.  It spoke to me somehow, and I not only photographed it, I went over and studied it closely.  I came eye to eye with its owner, Mr. Spider.  Had he not been attached to his beautifully designed web, I might not have been so quick to befriend Mr. Spider.  I did not want to have him jump on me, but I loved admiring him proudly enjoying the 'home' he created.

I can't help but think of the children's literary classic book, Charlotte's Web  by E.B. White, when I see such a perfectly designed spider's web complete with said spider on the web. 
The book by this American author shows Charlotte as the spider who befriends a pig, Wilbur.  Anyone who has read the book loves it.  It is just one of those books that is hard NOT to love!  This beloved classic was turned into an animated film that children in classrooms enjoy today.  If they don't....they should!

The sentiment in the book, Charlotte's Web, certainly makes one have a love and an affinity for animals and all God's creations.  I guess this is where I can see St. Francis becoming entangled in Charlotte's web.  As we all have heard, God isn't stupid, so whatever He created must be a smart thing.  God bless St. Francis for looking over and blessing all these wonderful creatures, without whom our lives would be so much duller!

Mom's house has not yet sold.  I know it frustrates her.  Not only is the market bad right now, but her home is in a town that is not a 'hot market' area right now.  However, I know that the buyers just don't have any idea of the love and acceptance they would find if they did, in fact, become lucky enough to choose and purchase a house like Mom's in a town like Shelby, NC.
I have faith that our prayers will be answered and Mom's house will sell.  I know it would bring her peace of mind and a lot of relief.

In spite of the relief, I know that I hate to let the house go....it is filled with memories and history and love.  But one must realize that a house is just a facade and that the real love is held in the hearts of those who have lived there or visited there or have had an encounter there. 

And memories are made of this.

St. Francis of Assisi

Charlotte's Web




St. Francis of Assisi loves the animals.





Christmas

Even though it is 89 degrees and sunny right now, I had a thought about Christmas.  I love Christmas and everyone knows it!  I have a wooden plaque on my kitchen wall that says "Is it Christmas Yet?"  It stays up all year long.  I honestly don't remember who gave it to me, but someone knows me well.  I often view time in its relationship to the Christmas season.

Lately, it almost seems like once school starts back in the Fall, merchants start gearing up for Christmas.  I know it is not uncommon to see Christmas things in craft stores.  That I can tolerate.  As a crafter myself, I know that in order to get gifts and decorations completed by Christmas, you really do need to start early.  Or you can do like I seem to do more and more.....procrastinate and then have late night craft sessions trying to get everything completed!  I am pleased to say that throughout this year, I have made a few things for the holidays.  However, I am in the process of cleaning out and rearranging my craft room....what a chore!  That is just a reminder of all the things I have purchased and planned that I have yet to start on.  I guess I'd better get busy.
But as much as I love Christmas, I also love Fall, Halloween, and Thanksgiving.  I truly like to savor those times before I start planning for Christmas.  I wish that stores would wait a little bit longer before putting out their Christmas wares.  I know that retailers need to start selling things early, but I always feel like it goes from Back to School to Christmas with all those wonderful things in between getting the short shift.  Oh well.  At least at home I can enjoy and embrace each holiday in its own time.

I grew up in Shelby, North Carolina.  The holidays were calm and peaceful....just as the decorations were calm and peaceful.  Most houses had single white candle lights in each window and a wreath on the front door with a spotlight shining on it.  It is lovely, but as I grew older, I saw that other places decorated in different ways.  I think I love living in Florida because most people here are "from" somewhere else.  Thus, there is an ecclectic display of Christmas decorations!  Whenever we see a house decorated with colored lights...the big screw-in bulb type...Jim calls them "New Jersey Lights."  I guess that is what he grew up with in New Jersey.  Now we have compromised.  We put lights outside on our trees and bushes.  I love  them.  Some of the lights are colored, but they are the smaller twinkle type lights.  We also have animated deer in our front yard.  They twinkle with little white lights.  Their heads move and I think they are sweet and peaceful.  We have wreaths on the front porch and Jim decorates our sago palm with green lights on the fronds and white lights on the trunk.  It is very cool looking and I love it that I have managed to get him motivated from Bah Humbug to a man who is proud of his Christmas yard decorations!  I guess giving in to some colored lights and artistic license did the trick.  I do draw the line at the huge blow up characters that Jim wants to put in our front yard so badly!

I loved growing up in a family that made Christmas special.  I think my dad had the Christmas bug more than my mom.  I always feel like I take after him in that regard.  There were only two things I can think of that weren't enjoyable for my Dad at Christmas.  One was taking photographs.  He may very well have been the world's worst photographer, yet he loved having pictures of all occasions.  He always had a time with the flashbulbs that we had to use on each type of camera we had.  I actually remember the cameras with the big rounded chrome dome where a little flash bulb was attached.  From that we graduated to a Kodak Instamatic Camera that had those cute little flashcubes.  It didn't matter.  He seemed to always have either an unwanted flash or no flash when he needed it.  Or the bulbs he put in would be burned out.  That's because when he took out old bulbs, he probably threw them back into the bag rather than in the trash can!  Along the same line, the strings of Christmas lights we put on our tree always gave him a fit.  That is the second thing my dad didn't love about Christmas.  Back then it seemed the strands of lights got tangled easier and it seemed the burnt out bulbs were harder to find.  Either that or I have became more tolerant and patient about those things than Daddy was. 
In spite of his frustration with these things, the worst thing Daddy ever did was say "dadgummit" or become quiet and tight-lipped.  I never saw him get really angry nor did I see these things do too much to put a damper on his holiday spirit.

(I can picture Daddy with this camera!)

Mom stopped decorating for Christmas several years ago.  A nice thing is that she gave me a lot of her Christmas decorations.  Because of that, every year when I put out my decorations I think of her.  I plan to pass some of these down to my children, but I am not ready to stop decorating my own house just yet!

(Mom's old Nativity)



One of my favorite Christmas decorations I use every year is a set of the 3 Wise Men.  I put them on a side table in my dining room.  They are gold and handmade.  I remember Mom bought them at a church bazaar when I was a kid.  Even though they are made of paper mache and cardboard, they have stood the test of time and still look wonderful.  Each year as I unpack them, I have to do some minor adjustments to the gifts the magi are bearing, but other than that, they look just as good as they did the day she bought them.

(The Wise Men)



This just brings to mind the Christmas trees Martha and I used to make out of old Reader's Digests.  We folded each page in a certain way and when they were all folded, the book would stand up and we would fan it out to look like a Christmas tree.  We would then spray paint these trees and sometimes add decorations.  Oftentimes we would just leave the decorations off except for maybe a star on top.  I am going to see if Madeline wants to sit with me one evening and make one of these trees.  It will certainly take me way back to my childhood!

Martha and I used to also make orange pomanders.  We took fresh juicy oranges and covered them with whole cloves.  Then we tied  ribbons on them so that we could hang them up.  They made the room smell so yummy!  I remember my fingers would be so sore and cut from pushing those pesty little cloves into the orange.  Sometimes they were really hard to poke in, especially if the peel of the orange was thick.

I have so many Christmas memories from my growing up years that it would be impossible to mention them all.  I guess there will always be some highlights....most of them wonderful memories, but a few not so wonderful ones.

The worst Christmas memory was the first Christmas Jim and I were married.  It was joyous in many ways, mainly because I was spending my first Christmas with my new husband and it felt so different and so special.  It was Jim's first Christmas away from his family and home in New Jersey.  I know it felt weird for him, but he was willing to go to Shelby and spend Christmas there with me and my family.  He's a good guy like that.
We had spent the week before Christmas up in New Jersey.  Unfortunately, Jim's Dad was very sick with melanoma cancer.  He had presided as Jim's best man in our wedding in May, but by Christmas-time he had gone down hill fast.  I guess melanoma was much more deadly 36 years ago than it is today.  Thank goodness for modern medicine.
Anyway, we drove back to Burlington on December 22 or 23 to check on our own home, re-pack and then drive to Shelby the next day to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas with my family.  We were hoping to have a nice time, despite leaving behind a sad situation in New Jersey.
That Christmas morning we were at Mom and Dad's opening our gifts when we got that dreaded call that Jim's Dad had just passed away.  I guess I will never realize how devastating that was to the young man who was now my husband, spending his first Christmas away from home and who just learned that his Dad had passed away.  My heart went out to him then, but it goes out even more now that I have experienced great loss like that myself.  I don't think I quite had the grasp on how horrible this must have been for him.

We try to not let that sad memory color the mood of our Christmases.  I think Jim still gets up really early on Christmas morning to reflect on that, but then we set forth to have a wonderful day together with our family.  And Jim will always have his own warm memories of family Christmases in New Jersey growing up with his Mom and Dad and 5 siblings.  I imagine Christmas morning at their house was a lot more bustling than at mine!

I know that as kids, we always asked Santa for a gift.  I think from the moment I knew anything, I asked for a doll.  And every year I got a doll.  I didn't care about asking for anything else, although I loved getting puzzles and coloring books and games and candy and all the other wonderful things that Santa brought.  But no matter what it was.....even a big gift like a bike.....it paled in comparison to the doll that I got that year.

Honestly, I could be happy getting dolls to this day!  That is probably why Madeline has a lovely and extensive doll collection.  I never could get rid of that idea of getting a special doll each Christmas. 

When Jimmy was two, he got a doll from Santa.  It was a Cabbage Patch Doll.  Each of those dolls came complete with a birth certificate.  Jimmy's doll was named Cedric Louie.  He really did carry that thing around for a while.  He might not want to own up to that now, but I am sure I could dig out an old photo or two to prove it!

(Martha and me with my ever-present doll!)

I honestly don't remember what Martha asked for each year.  I know she enjoyed getting clothes and jewelry more than I did.  I guess some things never change!  I know whatever she got she probably shared with me.  She was not selfish and we always enjoyed sharing our toys and playing games.
I miss Martha so much.  I thank God every day that I was blessed with the best big sister for 55 years of my life.

One Christmas Eve Martha decided to sleep in my room with me.  I think we thought that it would be more exciting to wake up together.  We never went downstairs to see what Santa brought unless we were together.
My room had twin beds so that is why we chose to sleep in my room rather than hers.  She never did care to share a bed with me.  She always said I wiggled and kicked her.  She might be right, although I don't think it was as bad as she made it seem!
On that particular Christmas morning I woke up first and ran to the window to look out.  It was snowing like crazy and I got so excited!  I woke Martha up and said, "Look!  It's snowing!"  Martha's sleepy response to me was, "I don't care about the snow.  Let's go down and see what Santa brought!"  I don't know a Christmas after that when we didn't laugh and talk about that story.  It probably got embellished through the years, but I can picture the moment so vividly in my mind it could have happened yesterday.



I know that we always had traditions in our family that never changed.  I actually don't know when they did change, but I know it wasn't until after I was married.  I think family traditions are really such blessings to be enjoyed and to be passed along.
Mom and Dad managed to work out a wonderful way to spend Christmas with each of their families.  I grew to love these traditions and I looked forward to them with such anticipation each year.
On Christmas Eve, immediately following the candlelight service at our respective churches, all of the Porter families got together for a dinner and gift exchange.  I have expressed often the fondness I have for my Porter cousins, and this is just one of the many memories I have of them all.
We gathered at one of our homes...our parents had a rotation list figured out.  The host family provided the meat and the table setting, etc.  Everyone brought a dish, organized by the host.  Even though it was probably one of the best meals ever, it was often wasted on me since I was always so anxious to get to the gift exchange and the play time with my cousins!  My aunt Madeline was a wonderful cook and always made something delicious, but her signature item to bring to family gatherings was iced tea.  She had some secret formula that I have yet to duplicate exactly.  It hasn't been from lack of trying.  I know she brewed iced tea, added sugar (of course....we are Southerners!), orange juice, pineapple juice, and I think some lemon juice or lemonade.  It was so good.  I could use a glass right now.  My aunt Katherine made melt-in-your-mouth yeast rolls and my other aunt Kathryn made blonde brownies.  I still think they are my favorite desert of all time!  I have the recipe and I make them on occasion.  My aunt Margaret made these brownies too, along with some other delicious dishes.   Uncle Paul made homemade cakes, and Madeline and Catherine made casseroles, peanut slaw and other yummy things.  I have asked Mom several times what was her specialty item to bring to these events and she always says she didn't have a specialty and can't remember what she did take!  She is a funny lady...especially when she talks about cooking and food.
We gave gifts according to a name-drawing we did in the Fall.  Each adult couple drew a name of another couple, and each cousin drew a name.  Not only was getting the gift fun, but seeing who had your name was part of the fun too!  We tried to keep it a secret.  I think most people did a pretty good job of this.

One Christmas Eve when I was about 14, we were at Jim and Catherine's house.  I can picture everyone gathered in their family room after dinner when my Uncle Jim gave his daughter, Nancy, a gift.  She opened it and if I rmember correctly, it was a can of motor oil.  This led to the surprise of her new car that was out front!  I know Nancy was so surprised and thrilled and I thought it was so amazing that she was getting a car.  I also thought her Dad's way of presenting it was very clever.  I think that the car keys might have been taped to the bottom of the motor oil can or something. 
Sometimes extra special things like this happened at our family gatherings! 

As I said, my parents did a good job of managing to spend Christmas with each of their families.  On Christmas Day, we had a similar lunch and gift exchange with the Humphries clan.  Our group wasn't quite as big, but it was equally fun!  I always felt spoiled after this party because we didn't draw names.  Each family bought gifts for all the "kids."  I don't remember if the adults even exchanged gifts, but I know I came away from that party with 4 or 5 gifts!  It was truly a fun time.
I think Mom and Jessie took turns hosting the party.   Jessie always did things in ways that seemed so special to me.  I know Mom did special things too, but the fact that it was my Mom in my home, they didn't seem so out of the ordinary or as much of a surprise.  My other cousins loved to come to my house and I loved having them.  I just know that going to Jessie's was a treat for me.  Jessie had a special punch bowl that she used just for us kids.  She would concoct some yummy type of punch with an ice ring floating in it and we would drink cup after cup of this punch.  When Jessie no longer thought she needed the punch bowl, she gave it to me.  I still use it!  I always used it for my kids' birthday parties and I use it when I host my annual Christmas brunch.  I have other punch bowls, but when I pull this one out it always brings a smile to my face.  It isn't fancy or expensive.  When I fill it with punch (and yes, I always make an ice ring) it also seems as if I am filling it with memories.

I love that I always got to spend the Christmas holidays with ALL of my relatives.  I know families today are not as fortunate as my family was in being able to juggle two families and fit in everyone and everything.  It was truly the two best days of my year!

My cousin Patty is my younger cousin.  I have many Christmas memories with her as well.  I don't think my cousins and I had much concern about age differences.  We just enjoyed being together.  Patty is only a few years younger than me, but when you are little it can seem like a lot.  For us, it didn't seem to matter.

I made a huge scrapbook for Mom for her 80th birthday.  I gathered bits and pieces of things from other people and from my own archives and created a collection of things for my Mom to enjoy.  I remember Patty sent me a picture of the two of us with a note written to Mom.  I put the picture and the note in the scrapbook.  The picture is really funny.  It is in black and white, but I remember it all very vividly!  Patty was at my house playing one day near Christmas and we decided to dress up.  I played Santa and she played my little elf.  I put on my red and white striped flannel pajamas and stuffed myself with pillows.  I borrowed one of my dad's black belts and put that around my waist.  Then we got cotton balls and GLUED them on my face to create a mustache and beard!  I looked ridiculous, but in my best Christmas spirit created a deep and hearty 'Ho Ho Ho'!  Patty, shorter and sweeter looking, put on tights and a jagged edge elf top that someone had made.  It was green.  She wore a red turtleneck under it and had a pointy hat.  She was the cutest little elf you've ever seen!  Patty wrote to my mom on her 80th birthday that she had so many fond memories of playing at our house on Ridgeveiw Drive and included this picture.  It meant a lot to Mom....and to me.  Patty was, and still is, such a little sweetheart.  She is easy to love.

I also remember a very special Christmas memory with Patty.  I always amuse myself with this one because I know that I cannot carry a tune in a bucket, in spite of my passion for music.  Patty and I some way, somehow ended up putting on a little show for a group of elderly women.  My great aunt Tommie was involved in this group and this is how Patty and I came to present the program.  We were young at the time, but I was just shy of being old enough to be totally embarrassed!  I guess I got caught up in the spirit of the season.  I don't remember all of the circumstances, but I do remember Patty and I singing....just the two of us.....for these women!  I don't remember all the songs we sang, but I do remember one of them was "The Little Drummer Boy."  I guess these ladies didn't worry so much about our voices and found us just cute enough to pass for a decent Christmas program.  I know we left there with pink cheeks from all the little love pinches these ladies bestowed upon us!

I don't know how Patty feels about her singing voice today, but I know that was a once in a lifetime "concert" from this voice!

Some traditions have changed and some have remained.  Families are scattered and harder to get together.  But I know the spirit of Christmas lives, and there is not a Christmas Eve that I stand in church and hold my candle and sing "Silent Night" that I don't have a myriad of memories running through my head.  I think the Christmas season is such a time of reflection about the past and a hope for the future.

I have learned so much from the people and events of my past and I hope to continue to create memories for my friends and family members in the future.

It might be with a gift, a homemade craft, a certain decoration, a meal, a cake, blonde brownines or a bridge luncheon.  It might be donating money or toys for the underprivileged or serving at a mission in Wimauma with a group from church.  It might be laughing at the cat while he gets into the wrapping paper or calling your son who can't make it home for the holidays.  It might be shedding a tear remembering those loved ones who are no longer with us or laughing at a memory of tangled light bulbs or sprinkling reindeer food on the front lawn.  It might be watching your little boy dress up in his new football uniform from Grandma on Christmas morning or staying up all night playing Santa.  Maybe it is in addressing Christmas cards or shopping and fighting the crowds.  Perhaps it is the anticipation of putting on the new outfit you got just to wear to a Christmas party or the new nightgown you plan to wear on Christmas Eve.  Maybe it is that inexplainable joy when it actually snows on Christmas or hearing your favorite Christmas song.  It might be that lump in your chest or that tear in your eye when you stand in church and hear the congregation sing "Oh Come, All Ye Faithful," or it might be singing off key at the top of your lungs "Joy to the World" because you just don't care as you are caught up in the shear joy of the moment.  Maybe it is a sad memory of a day long ago when you received bad news and you just can't shake it until you hear the laughter of your children down the hallway.  Maybe it's an "argument" about how tacky the decorations can be or maybe it's the pride you have when you place those candles in your windows.  It could be an elf costume, a box of purple bubble gum or a new doll that wets and says 'mama.'  It could be a crackling fire in the fireplace or the smell of cakes baking in the oven.  It could be in the hot chocolate with little marshmellows or in the friendly banter between brothers as they compete with their latest video game that Santa brought. 
Or maybe it's just a simple plaque on your wall that is a daily reminder:  Is it Christmas yet?

All I know is that memories are made of this.

Christmas gathering at Ellen's

Our Christmas Tree

Leo is being nosy!

Madeline, Jimmy and Joseph in Shelby at Christmas time

Madeline's little dance ornament tree....a new tradition

Beautiful tree at the Yelton's

Nativity Scene purchased at church craft show
(bought because of coercion from a dear friend)

Porter and Madeline:  Santa's Elves