Memories Are Made of This: Christmas

Even though it is 89 degrees and sunny right now, I had a thought about Christmas. I love Christmas and everyone knows it! I have a wooden plaque on my kitchen wall that says "Is it Christmas Yet?" It stays up all year long. I honestly don't remember who gave it to me, but someone knows me well. I often view time in its relationship to the Christmas season.

Lately, it almost seems like once school starts back in the Fall, merchants start gearing up for Christmas. I know it is not uncommon to see Christmas things in craft stores. That I can tolerate. As a crafter myself, I know that in order to get gifts and decorations completed by Christmas, you really do need to start early. Or you can do like I seem to do more and more.....procrastinate and then have late night craft sessions trying to get everything completed! I am pleased to say that throughout this year, I have made a few things for the holidays. However, I am in the process of cleaning out and rearranging my craft room....what a chore! That is just a reminder of all the things I have purchased and planned that I have yet to start on. I guess I'd better get busy.
But as much as I love Christmas, I also love Fall, Halloween, and Thanksgiving. I truly like to savor those times before I start planning for Christmas. I wish that stores would wait a little bit longer before putting out their Christmas wares. I know that retailers need to start selling things early, but I always feel like it goes from Back to School to Christmas with all those wonderful things in between getting the short shift. Oh well. At least at home I can enjoy and embrace each holiday in its own time.

I grew up in Shelby, North Carolina. The holidays were calm and peaceful....just as the decorations were calm and peaceful. Most houses had single white candle lights in each window and a wreath on the front door with a spotlight shining on it. It is lovely, but as I grew older, I saw that other places decorated in different ways. I think I love living in Florida because most people here are "from" somewhere else. Thus, there is an ecclectic display of Christmas decorations! Whenever we see a house decorated with colored lights...the big screw-in bulb type...Jim calls them "New Jersey Lights." I guess that is what he grew up with in New Jersey. Now we have compromised. We put lights outside on our trees and bushes. I love them. Some of the lights are colored, but they are the smaller twinkle type lights. We also have animated deer in our front yard. They twinkle with little white lights. Their heads move and I think they are sweet and peaceful. We have wreaths on the front porch and Jim decorates our sago palm with green lights on the fronds and white lights on the trunk. It is very cool looking and I love it that I have managed to get him motivated from Bah Humbug to a man who is proud of his Christmas yard decorations! I guess giving in to some colored lights and artistic license did the trick. I do draw the line at the huge blow up characters that Jim wants to put in our front yard so badly!

I loved growing up in a family that made Christmas special. I think my dad had the Christmas bug more than my mom. I always feel like I take after him in that regard. There were only two things I can think of that weren't enjoyable for my Dad at Christmas. One was taking photographs. He may very well have been the world's worst photographer, yet he loved having pictures of all occasions. He always had a time with the flashbulbs that we had to use on each type of camera we had. I actually remember the cameras with the big rounded chrome dome where a little flash bulb was attached. From that we graduated to a Kodak Instamatic Camera that had those cute little flashcubes. It didn't matter. He seemed to always have either an unwanted flash or no flash when he needed it. Or the bulbs he put in would be burned out. That's because when he took out old bulbs, he probably threw them back into the bag rather than in the trash can! Along the same line, the strings of Christmas lights we put on our tree always gave him a fit. That is the second thing my dad didn't love about Christmas. Back then it seemed the strands of lights got tangled easier and it seemed the burnt out bulbs were harder to find. Either that or I have became more tolerant and patient about those things than Daddy was.
In spite of his frustration with these things, the worst thing Daddy ever did was say "dadgummit" or become quiet and tight-lipped. I never saw him get really angry nor did I see these things do too much to put a damper on his holiday spirit.

(I can picture Daddy with this camera!)

Mom stopped decorating for Christmas several years ago. A nice thing is that she gave me a lot of her Christmas decorations. Because of that, every year when I put out my decorations I think of her. I plan to pass some of these down to my children, but I am not ready to stop decorating my own house just yet!

(Mom's old Nativity)

One of my favorite Christmas decorations I use every year is a set of the 3 Wise Men. I put them on a side table in my dining room. They are gold and handmade. I remember Mom bought them at a church bazaar when I was a kid. Even though they are made of paper mache and cardboard, they have stood the test of time and still look wonderful. Each year as I unpack them, I have to do some minor adjustments to the gifts the magi are bearing, but other than that, they look just as good as they did the day she bought them.

(The Wise Men)

This just brings to mind the Christmas trees Martha and I used to make out of old Reader's Digests. We folded each page in a certain way and when they were all folded, the book would stand up and we would fan it out to look like a Christmas tree. We would then spray paint these trees and sometimes add decorations. Oftentimes we would just leave the decorations off except for maybe a star on top. I am going to see if Madeline wants to sit with me one evening and make one of these trees. It will certainly take me way back to my childhood!

Martha and I used to also make orange pomanders. We took fresh juicy oranges and covered them with whole cloves. Then we tied ribbons on them so that we could hang them up. They made the room smell so yummy! I remember my fingers would be so sore and cut from pushing those pesty little cloves into the orange. Sometimes they were really hard to poke in, especially if the peel of the orange was thick.

I have so many Christmas memories from my growing up years that it would be impossible to mention them all. I guess there will always be some highlights....most of them wonderful memories, but a few not so wonderful ones.

The worst Christmas memory was the first Christmas Jim and I were married. It was joyous in many ways, mainly because I was spending my first Christmas with my new husband and it felt so different and so special. It was Jim's first Christmas away from his family and home in New Jersey. I know it felt weird for him, but he was willing to go to Shelby and spend Christmas there with me and my family. He's a good guy like that.
We had spent the week before Christmas up in New Jersey. Unfortunately, Jim's Dad was very sick with melanoma cancer. He had presided as Jim's best man in our wedding in May, but by Christmas-time he had gone down hill fast. I guess melanoma was much more deadly 36 years ago than it is today. Thank goodness for modern medicine.
Anyway, we drove back to Burlington on December 22 or 23 to check on our own home, re-pack and then drive to Shelby the next day to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas with my family. We were hoping to have a nice time, despite leaving behind a sad situation in New Jersey.
That Christmas morning we were at Mom and Dad's opening our gifts when we got that dreaded call that Jim's Dad had just passed away. I guess I will never realize how devastating that was to the young man who was now my husband, spending his first Christmas away from home and who just learned that his Dad had passed away. My heart went out to him then, but it goes out even more now that I have experienced great loss like that myself. I don't think I quite had the grasp on how horrible this must have been for him.

We try to not let that sad memory color the mood of our Christmases. I think Jim still gets up really early on Christmas morning to reflect on that, but then we set forth to have a wonderful day together with our family. And Jim will always have his own warm memories of family Christmases in New Jersey growing up with his Mom and Dad and 5 siblings. I imagine Christmas morning at their house was a lot more bustling than at mine!

I know that as kids, we always asked Santa for a gift. I think from the moment I knew anything, I asked for a doll. And every year I got a doll. I didn't care about asking for anything else, although I loved getting puzzles and coloring books and games and candy and all the other wonderful things that Santa brought. But no matter what it was.....even a big gift like a bike.....it paled in comparison to the doll that I got that year.

Honestly, I could be happy getting dolls to this day! That is probably why Madeline has a lovely and extensive doll collection. I never could get rid of that idea of getting a special doll each Christmas.

When Jimmy was two, he got a doll from Santa. It was a Cabbage Patch Doll. Each of those dolls came complete with a birth certificate. Jimmy's doll was named Cedric Louie. He really did carry that thing around for a while. He might not want to own up to that now, but I am sure I could dig out an old photo or two to prove it!

(Martha and me with my ever-present doll!)

I honestly don't remember what Martha asked for each year. I know she enjoyed getting clothes and jewelry more than I did. I guess some things never change! I know whatever she got she probably shared with me. She was not selfish and we always enjoyed sharing our toys and playing games.
I miss Martha so much. I thank God every day that I was blessed with the best big sister for 55 years of my life.

One Christmas Eve Martha decided to sleep in my room with me. I think we thought that it would be more exciting to wake up together. We never went downstairs to see what Santa brought unless we were together.
My room had twin beds so that is why we chose to sleep in my room rather than hers. She never did care to share a bed with me. She always said I wiggled and kicked her. She might be right, although I don't think it was as bad as she made it seem!
On that particular Christmas morning I woke up first and ran to the window to look out. It was snowing like crazy and I got so excited! I woke Martha up and said, "Look! It's snowing!" Martha's sleepy response to me was, "I don't care about the snow. Let's go down and see what Santa brought!" I don't know a Christmas after that when we didn't laugh and talk about that story. It probably got embellished through the years, but I can picture the moment so vividly in my mind it could have happened yesterday.

I know that we always had traditions in our family that never changed. I actually don't know when they did change, but I know it wasn't until after I was married. I think family traditions are really such blessings to be enjoyed and to be passed along.
Mom and Dad managed to work out a wonderful way to spend Christmas with each of their families. I grew to love these traditions and I looked forward to them with such anticipation each year.
On Christmas Eve, immediately following the candlelight service at our respective churches, all of the Porter families got together for a dinner and gift exchange. I have expressed often the fondness I have for my Porter cousins, and this is just one of the many memories I have of them all.
We gathered at one of our homes...our parents had a rotation list figured out. The host family provided the meat and the table setting, etc. Everyone brought a dish, organized by the host. Even though it was probably one of the best meals ever, it was often wasted on me since I was always so anxious to get to the gift exchange and the play time with my cousins! My aunt Madeline was a wonderful cook and always made something delicious, but her signature item to bring to family gatherings was iced tea. She had some secret formula that I have yet to duplicate exactly. It hasn't been from lack of trying. I know she brewed iced tea, added sugar (of course....we are Southerners!), orange juice, pineapple juice, and I think some lemon juice or lemonade. It was so good. I could use a glass right now. My aunt Katherine made melt-in-your-mouth yeast rolls and my other aunt Kathryn made blonde brownies. I still think they are my favorite desert of all time! I have the recipe and I make them on occasion. My aunt Margaret made these brownies too, along with some other delicious dishes.   Uncle Paul made homemade cakes, and Madeline and Catherine made casseroles, peanut slaw and other yummy things. I have asked Mom several times what was her specialty item to bring to these events and she always says she didn't have a specialty and can't remember what she did take! She is a funny lady...especially when she talks about cooking and food.
We gave gifts according to a name-drawing we did in the Fall. Each adult couple drew a name of another couple, and each cousin drew a name. Not only was getting the gift fun, but seeing who had your name was part of the fun too! We tried to keep it a secret. I think most people did a pretty good job of this.

One Christmas Eve when I was about 14, we were at Jim and Catherine's house.  I can picture everyone gathered in their family room after dinner when my Uncle Jim gave his daughter, Nancy, a gift. She opened it and if I rmember correctly, it was a can of motor oil. This led to the surprise of her new car that was out front! I know Nancy was so surprised and thrilled and I thought it was so amazing that she was getting a car. I also thought her Dad's way of presenting it was very clever. I think that the car keys might have been taped to the bottom of the motor oil can or something.
Sometimes extra special things like this happened at our family gatherings!

As I said, my parents did a good job of managing to spend Christmas with each of their families. On Christmas Day, we had a similar lunch and gift exchange with the Humphries clan. Our group wasn't quite as big, but it was equally fun! I always felt spoiled after this party because we didn't draw names. Each family bought gifts for all the "kids." I don't remember if the adults even exchanged gifts, but I know I came away from that party with 4 or 5 gifts! It was truly a fun time.
I think Mom and Jessie took turns hosting the party.   Jessie always did things in ways that seemed so special to me. I know Mom did special things too, but the fact that it was my Mom in my home, they didn't seem so out of the ordinary or as much of a surprise. My other cousins loved to come to my house and I loved having them. I just know that going to Jessie's was a treat for me. Jessie had a special punch bowl that she used just for us kids. She would concoct some yummy type of punch with an ice ring floating in it and we would drink cup after cup of this punch. When Jessie no longer thought she needed the punch bowl, she gave it to me. I still use it! I always used it for my kids' birthday parties and I use it when I host my annual Christmas brunch. I have other punch bowls, but when I pull this one out it always brings a smile to my face. It isn't fancy or expensive. When I fill it with punch (and yes, I always make an ice ring) it also seems as if I am filling it with memories.

I love that I always got to spend the Christmas holidays with ALL of my relatives. I know families today are not as fortunate as my family was in being able to juggle two families and fit in everyone and everything. It was truly the two best days of my year!

My cousin Patty is my younger cousin. I have many Christmas memories with her as well. I don't think my cousins and I had much concern about age differences. We just enjoyed being together. Patty is only a few years younger than me, but when you are little it can seem like a lot. For us, it didn't seem to matter.

I made a huge scrapbook for Mom for her 80th birthday. I gathered bits and pieces of things from other people and from my own archives and created a collection of things for my Mom to enjoy. I remember Patty sent me a picture of the two of us with a note written to Mom. I put the picture and the note in the scrapbook. The picture is really funny. It is in black and white, but I remember it all very vividly! Patty was at my house playing one day near Christmas and we decided to dress up. I played Santa and she played my little elf. I put on my red and white striped flannel pajamas and stuffed myself with pillows. I borrowed one of my dad's black belts and put that around my waist. Then we got cotton balls and GLUED them on my face to create a mustache and beard! I looked ridiculous, but in my best Christmas spirit created a deep and hearty 'Ho Ho Ho'! Patty, shorter and sweeter looking, put on tights and a jagged edge elf top that someone had made. It was green. She wore a red turtleneck under it and had a pointy hat. She was the cutest little elf you've ever seen! Patty wrote to my mom on her 80th birthday that she had so many fond memories of playing at our house on Ridgeveiw Drive and included this picture. It meant a lot to Mom....and to me. Patty was, and still is, such a little sweetheart. She is easy to love.

I also remember a very special Christmas memory with Patty. I always amuse myself with this one because I know that I cannot carry a tune in a bucket, in spite of my passion for music. Patty and I some way, somehow ended up putting on a little show for a group of elderly women. My great aunt Tommie was involved in this group and this is how Patty and I came to present the program. We were young at the time, but I was just shy of being old enough to be totally embarrassed! I guess I got caught up in the spirit of the season. I don't remember all of the circumstances, but I do remember Patty and I singing....just the two of us.....for these women! I don't remember all the songs we sang, but I do remember one of them was "The Little Drummer Boy." I guess these ladies didn't worry so much about our voices and found us just cute enough to pass for a decent Christmas program. I know we left there with pink cheeks from all the little love pinches these ladies bestowed upon us!

I don't know how Patty feels about her singing voice today, but I know that was a once in a lifetime "concert" from this voice!

Some traditions have changed and some have remained. Families are scattered and harder to get together. But I know the spirit of Christmas lives, and there is not a Christmas Eve that I stand in church and hold my candle and sing "Silent Night" that I don't have a myriad of memories running through my head. I think the Christmas season is such a time of reflection about the past and a hope for the future.

I have learned so much from the people and events of my past and I hope to continue to create memories for my friends and family members in the future.

It might be with a gift, a homemade craft, a certain decoration, a meal, a cake, blonde brownines or a bridge luncheon. It might be donating money or toys for the underprivileged or serving at a mission in Wimauma with a group from church. It might be laughing at the cat while he gets into the wrapping paper or calling your son who can't make it home for the holidays. It might be shedding a tear remembering those loved ones who are no longer with us or laughing at a memory of tangled light bulbs or sprinkling reindeer food on the front lawn. It might be watching your little boy dress up in his new football uniform from Grandma on Christmas morning or staying up all night playing Santa. Maybe it is in addressing Christmas cards or shopping and fighting the crowds. Perhaps it is the anticipation of putting on the new outfit you got just to wear to a Christmas party or the new nightgown you plan to wear on Christmas Eve. Maybe it is that inexplainable joy when it actually snows on Christmas or hearing your favorite Christmas song. It might be that lump in your chest or that tear in your eye when you stand in church and hear the congregation sing "Oh Come, All Ye Faithful," or it might be singing off key at the top of your lungs "Joy to the World" because you just don't care as you are caught up in the shear joy of the moment. Maybe it is a sad memory of a day long ago when you received bad news and you just can't shake it until you hear the laughter of your children down the hallway. Maybe it's an "argument" about how tacky the decorations can be or maybe it's the pride you have when you place those candles in your windows. It could be an elf costume, a box of purple bubble gum or a new doll that wets and says 'mama.' It could be a crackling fire in the fireplace or the smell of cakes baking in the oven. It could be in the hot chocolate with little marshmellows or in the friendly banter between brothers as they compete with their latest video game that Santa brought.
Or maybe it's just a simple plaque on your wall that is a daily reminder: Is it Christmas yet?

All I know is that memories are made of this.