I do have many memories of my Humphries relatives. Many of them are older memories because, as I said, this side of my family is getting smaller and smaller. I have written a lot about my Aunt Jessie and that is understandable. She was a huge and important part of my life and she lived to be 96. She hasn't been gone that long, so my memories are abundant and fresh. I am sure I will forever have more and more memories of Jessie surface. Mom and I still talk about how much we miss her and Mom always feels the need to talk to her or ask her something. I know just how she feels, since I am that way about Martha. I miss my sister like crazy and I want so much to talk to her. Not a day goes by that I do not think about that.
I guess Mom and I are lucky to feel such loss. It is said that grief is the price we pay for love. Ain't that the truth? The more you love the harder it is to accept the grief. I guess that is why I am still mourning the loss of Martha. We shared something so special and it is missed tremendously in my life. There is nothing like the love between sisters. Mom and I can both attest to that. I suppose that it is true to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. It is a high price, but some things are just worth it.
Thinking about Jessie leads my thoughts to Tony. He is her only son and he has been in my thoughts a lot lately as well. He lost his dear wife, Phyllis, right after Christmas. I know he joins Mom and me in our thoughts about the price you pay for love.
Tony was (and still is) so very handsome. I know Shelby High School was proud to have him grace their halls and their football field. Tony was a good student, athlete and ladies' man! He was voted Most Handsome in the Senior Superlatives in the yearbook. I am not prejudiced. They definitely got it right!
I always picture Tony with his dark hair slicked back and donning a letter sweater with that Golden S proudly displayed. Tony is 16 years older than I am, so I didn't get to hang out with him like I did some of my cousins. Rather, I just looked up to him and was proud to call him a relative.
Tony taught swimming lessons at the Shelby City Park for years. He was sort of a legend around there. I'm sure all the kids loved having him for a teacher.
When we bought Jessie's house on Ridgeview Drive, they moved to Country Club Acres and they had a house that was not only on the golf course, but it had a swimming pool! Needless to say, I spent a lot of time over there in the summers.
Jessie always let Martha and me bring friends over to swim, and we often asked Betsy and Sara Lutz to come over and join us. They lived across the street from Jessie, so it was very convenient. We were glad to have two fun playmates so nearby since we spent a lot of time at Jessie's house. The pool also had a diving board, so that made it extra fun! I remember so many good times at that pool.
A memorable time was when Tony came home from college and brought his friend, Frank Bumgardner, with him. Frank was also very good looking and he was an actor! He had been in some movies and I really don't remember all the details. I just know that we felt special being in the midst of a real Hollywood 'celebrity!' We succumbed to the 'giddy girls' status when we watched Tony and Frank do dives, jumps and cannonballs off the diving board!
When Tony started seeing Phyllis, she was a widow with 2 precious boys. Tony and Phyllis were crazy about each other and Tony likewise was crazy about Phyllis' boys. When they married, he legally adopted Tommy and Ward and I know they were proud to call him Dad. He was a good father to them.
I have fond memories of Tommy and Ward as little boys playing in Jessie's back yard and I also remember them as awkward pre-teens in their brand new suits at my wedding! I don't see or talk to either of them often, but when I do I always enjoy our interesting conversations. They are both fun and easy to talk to. I do have some fond memories with them when we all reached adulthood and they were no longer my 'little cousins.' We had some laughs and good times at Tony and Phyllis' house in Raleigh during the Christmas holidays.
Jessie was married to Tony Hammock, simply known to us all as Hammock. He was a smart businessman and a good husband and provider. I remember him as serious and dashing. My mom loved him and she credits him and Jessie with being kind and generous with their time, money and supportiveness to her as she was growing into a young woman. Jessie was 12 years older than Mom, so she really looked up to her in many ways.
When Hammock died, Mom said she hadn't understood grief prior to that moment. She felt like she had a hole in her heart and she said for years on Ridgeview Drive she would 'hear' his voice or imagine him walking in the back door.
I wish I personally had more memories of Hammock, but I just imagine the wonderful man he was through the stories I hear Mom tell about him. It is a beautiful thing to not only love your family so much, but to also love your in-laws. Not everyone is so fortunate.
Jessie was easy to love and that is probably why she found a wonderful husband the second time around. Many people never find true love, and to find it twice is such a blessing. Both Jessie and Mom had that good fortune. Jessie's second husband, Bob Van Sleen was such a great man! He laughed a lot and was so kind. He fit right into our Humphries clan and everyone loved him. Bob was a smart man....a retired electrical engineer. He loved gadgets of all kinds, but his passion was old radios. He had a workshop behind their house and he spent most of the daylight hours out there. It was a fascinating workshop filled with old radios, ham radios, radio dials, radio parts, and a host of wires and knobs. I don't know what all he did out there all day, but I do understand being passionate about hobbies, so I know it was a blessing that he had something like that in his life. I have one of his old radios on my den shelf. It is a nice memory of Bob. I am so glad that Jessie saved it. She actually said it was for Jim, because my husband always loved to talk to Bob about his radios. He thought they were really special.
Bob loved music. He had a huge reel to reel tape player in the family room and shelves full of big band music. He often made cassette tapes for Mom. He was a good man.
Bobby is married to Linda and she is such a sweet and kind woman. I have always loved her and she remains sweet and thoughtful. Not a year goes by that I don't receive a Christmas card from them. I always recognize Linda's handwriting. It has never changed throughout the years. I think Linda's most endearing quality is her ever-present smile.
Bobby and Linda have two beautiful girls: Cathy and Susan. I remember when they were both born. I loved having new baby cousins! I always wanted to go over to their house so I could see them. I did enjoy watching both of them grow up into beautiful, smart women. Having them at the family gatherings was fun.....two more girls to play with!
Bobby's parents were Bob and Hattie Mae Childrez. I really don't remember Bob but I do remember Mom's sister, Hattie Mae. I enjoyed spending time visiting her in her home. She was fun and witty, as were all the Humphries'. Unfortunately, she passed away before I got to create a whole lot of memories with her. I referred to Jessie's Bible (that now resides on my coffee table) for some information and dates about Hattie Mae. I couldn't find what I was looking for, but I found an interesting tidbit of information. Hattie Mae, along with Horace Kennedy, was a witness for the marriage of Jessie and Tony Hammock on September 13, 1936.
Jessie has some information recorded on a family tree chart in the middle of her Bible. Some of the information dates as far back as 1750!
Speaking of Jessie's Bible, Madeline picked it up the other day. We heard a reference to Matthew 25 and we wanted to read it. Madeline picked up Jessie's Bible, which I have left just as she had it, and one of the bookmarks was on Matthew 25: 35-40. She had that written on the bookmark. It is that familiar passage that begins with "For I was hungry and you gave me meat: I was thirsty, and you gave me drink: I was a stranger and you took me in."
I am not surprised that Jessie had this passage marked in her Bible as one that was meaningful to her. This passage is just one of many that shows how Jessie led a true Christ-like life.
Mom had a brother, Yates. He was married to Mildred and I loved visiting them throughout my life. They were so pleasant and nice and Mildred just loved life! She was a fun aunt to visit and she always appreciated my coming over. As children visiting Mildred, she gave us candy and sat on the floor and played with us. She always made us feel special.
Mildred and Yates loved Nascar and when you went to their house on Sunday afternoon, the 'races' were on! Mildred knew everything about all the drivers and she got very excited about it. I have never cared much for this sport, but this past weekend with all the publicity about the Daytona 500 and the crash that sent some spectators to the hospital, I began to think about racing and Mildred and Yates. It is interesting what can spark a memory or take you back in time.
Mom loved to go with me to visit Mildred and Yates. They were very special to her, as were all of her family members. Jessie and Mom both instilled the love and caring for family in all of us. They always felt like family members needed to look after each other.
Anyway, Mom never left Mildred's house without reaching on a shelf by the kitchen window and taking down a jar filled with cinnamon red hots. Mildred always had them and Mom always got into the car to leave with a handful of them. I'll bet Mildred bought them just for my mother!
Mildred and Yates had a bird. His name was Preacher Bird. Mildred loved this bird and loved to talk baby talk to him. Mildred loved all of God's creatures. I remember Jim and I visiting Shelby from Raleigh and we would bring our dog with us. Mom didn't care for dogs, so Mildred always offered to let our dog stay with her while we visited! I think it was a good excuse for her to have a pet in her house for awhile. I knew she didn't mind so I didn't feel imposing.
Mildred loved kids. She babysat and watched Martha more than she did me. I think Martha and Mildred developed a really strong bond throughout the years. Mildred was one of those aunts that all kids love to have. She would let you get away with things that your parents wouldn't. She never did anything harmful or that would jeopardize our health or safety, she just took a few 'liberties' and we loved her for it! I won't expose all the secrets, but I know she helped Martha out with quite a few things.
Mildred and Yates loved it when I used to visit with my children. She considered Joseph, Jimmy and Madeline almost like her own grandchildren. She was great with them and loved to know what was going on in their lives. She gave them gifts and talked to them and played with them. They loved her equally as much as she loved them.
Jessie always called herself "Great Grandma" to my boys. I think Mildred could have called herself that as well. My kids had lots of "grandmotherly" type love!
When Yates' health was ailing, he couldn't have asked for a better nurse than his own wife. She was very doting, nuturing, and comforting. She didn't mind taking care of him at all. In fact, for years she had to do this and I don't think she complained for one second. Mildred was a true gem and I really miss her. She was a good counterpart for Yates. Her vitality and zest for life were pleasant contrasts to Yates' quiet, calm and non-complaintive manner.
Mildred and Yates had one son, Eddie. They were so proud of him. He made a wonderful career for himself and he married a lovely woman, Liz. They are so interesting and have travelled and had experiences most of us never will! They never had children, and I'm sure Mildred missed having grandchildren, but on the other hand, it allowed Eddie and Liz to do so many wonderful things. Plus, Mildred got her grandmother 'fix' with all her nieces and nephews!
Eddie and Liz live in Florida now at The Villages. It is the perfect place for them since it is a community filled with activities. I know Eddie and Liz are involved in many of those activities and I am sure they have many friends and are loved at The Villages.
Mom had another brother, Earl. Earl was married to Margaret and I remember her, but not well. I have many more memories of Earl's second wife, Lucille. They were together for a long time and I think of them as a couple. Lucille was such a nice lady and I am glad she and Earl had so many happy years together. I think if you ask anyone in our family to quickly blurt out something about Lucille, it would be that she kept the cleanest house in America! I am not exaggerating. I loved going to their house because it was truly the tidiest, cleanest house ever. But the good thing about it was it still felt 'homey' and Lucille was a good cook. I remember eating lots of good food at their house. Sometimes we would sit on the sofa in the living room and talk when we visited, but more times than not, we sat at the kitchen table. She always offered refreshments and we always took her up on it! I can visualize this kitchen like it was yesterday. Good memories.
Earl was also a sweet man. Earl didn't say much, but when he did, it was worth listening to. He either told truly interesting stories and jokes or just had a lot of witty one-liners. He was extremely patriotic and proud to be an American, so many of his conversations were along those lines.....which often led to politics. Oh no! Watch out for those political debates.....
Mom has a clipping from the Shelby Star that she pulls out from time to time. I know she is proud of it, and rightfully so. It is a story about Veterans that was published right after Veteran's Day several years ago. There is a picture of Earl standing by a tree, hand on heart, at a Veteran's Day parade. I forget what the caption of the picture says, but it is a nice tribute to a man who proudly displays his patriotism. That was my uncle, Earl Humphries.
Earl had 2 children, Shelia and Kevin. Of the Humphries clan, those two cousins were the closet in age to Martha and me. We did the most with them. Bobby Childrez lives in Kings Mountain, but Shelia and Kevin are the only members of our Humphries family that still live in Shelby. That seems really weird. We are not only dwindling, but the few of us left are also scattered all over the place.
I know Shelia really misses Mom since she moved to Florida. I hate that for her and Kevin since they don't really have anyone else around. I guess they will just have to look after each other and call on us when they need to.
Shelia is a hard-worker and a thoughtful soul. She always writes the nicest notes and remembers Mom not only on every holiday or special occasion, but she is good to write her or send her things 'just because.'
Shelia and Martha were in the same graduating class at Shelby High School. Martha also had 2 other Porter cousins in that class. They all kept up with each other. I didn't have anyone in my class, but Scott Porter was in the class behind mine. Martha was lucky to have so many cousins so close in age.
Shelia loves cats. That is one area where I can totally and completely relate to her! She loves them as much as I do. She also collects elephants. She has a really neat collection of elephants....large and small and in between. One time I got a set of 5 minature brass elephants that graduated in size. After I had them on my shelf for awhile, I learned that Shelia loved and collected elephants, so I gave them to Mom to give to her.
Kevin was such a cute and sweet little boy! He is a few years younger than me. I remember one year when he was about 8 or so, Mom and I planned a birthday party for him at the Putt Putt course. He had a great time there with all his friends. Don't ask me why, but I remember his birthday cake had a plastic rocket on it! I guess maybe Kevin was into rockets at the time.
I know that Shelia and Kevin miss their parents, aunts and uncles and the few cousins that they have. Hopefully they know that they are loved and that they were very much a part of my life growing up. Family Christmas gatherings or birthday parties wouldn't have been the same without them. There just weren't that many of us near my age. They were the 'fun cousins!'
Fernia was one of Mom's sisters. She died as a baby, so of course she wasn't around for anyone to create many memories. I suppose when that 'glorious reunion' occurs, I can meet this awesome aunt of mine who I never knew!
Mom's younger brother, Donald, was a true patriot like his brother Earl. He was in the service most all of his adult life. He spent it oversees. Not only was he a dedicated serviceman, he was also a compassionate soul who saw the sufferings of the world and did everything he could to help the less fortunate. We have the letters he sent home to Jessie and Mom. They are not only family correspondence, they depict servitude, other cultures and life overseas. They are truly a lesson in history and in life.
I only met Donald once or twice when he came home on leave. I know Mom and his other siblings really admired and respected him. He is someone else I wish I could have gotten to know better.
I can't write about the Humphries clan without mentioning Gin Wolfe and Grace 'Cis' Sheperd. They were Mom's cousins and they were a big part of my life growing up. We visited them often and I have fond memories of the both of them. Like Mom and Jessie and Martha and myself, Gin and Cis were sisters who had a close relationship. They were both married to wonderful men and had happy marriages and great lives living in Shelby.
Mary Sheperd is Dow and Cis's daughter. She lives in Shelby now, and I do get to visit her on occasion when I go back. Mary is funny. I enjoy her humor and wisecracks. She has a flair for making us giggle. Mary has recently taken up the banjo, so she entertains us with a little picking from time to time.
Mary and I share an understanding of what it is like to lose a sibling at much too young an age. It is nice to have someone in the family to talk to who 'gets it.'
Gin Wolfe's house always smelled like a bakery. She baked cakes for people and I must tell you, I use her cakes as a basis for what a good cake should taste like. I have had few compare! She always made a chocolate cake with caramel frosting for my birthday. My nephew Porter developed his love for caramel, so I make him a pound cake with caramel frosting for his birthday now. It is with fond memories of Gin. I think Tony always requested one of Gin's cake for his birthday.....a pound cake with caramel frosting. My other two favorites were Gin's German chocolate cake and her fresh coconut cake. They were delicious!
Needless to say, Martha and I loved to go over to Gin's and 'help' her bake (aka: lick the bowl!).
Gin's daughters, Jane and Anna, were my older cousins. I always looked up to them and thought they were so cool. Jane was beautiful and elegant and Anna was beautiful and witty! Anna took on the personality of her mom. They were so much alike.
Imagine the thrill it was for me, snaggled toothed at 8 years old, to be asked to be a Junior Bridesmaid in Jane's wedding. Martha was one too. We wore long green dresses and carried bouquets. It was the first wedding I had ever been to and I couldn't believe my great fortune at getting to walk down the aisle!
I remember a recent trip to Shelby when Mom and I joined Jane and Anna for an egg salad sandwich and orangeade at Carolina Dairy. It was like old times.
My mom had two aunts....another pair of great sisters....who lived next door to each other. We knew them simply as Aunt Jane and Aunt Bess. I have to say that in my memory, Aunt Bess might as well have been named Aunt Bea, as in Aunt Bea from Mayberry. She reminded me of her in many ways. She was always in the kitchen, aproned and jolly! I was recently telling Mom that I remember so often sitting in her kitchen drinking cold Cheerwine from a bottle and eating 'Chicken Feed.' Chicken Feed is what we now call Chex Mix or Nuts and Bolts. But to me, it will always be Chicken Feed and I love it as much now as I did then! Mom is amazed that I remember things like that, but some things you just never forget.
Great memories of childhood.
Nanma, Pearl Kennedy Humphries, was the epitome of a storybook Grandma. I only had her for 7 short years, but I have many fond memories of her. She let me get away with staying up past my bedtime and letting me eat too much candy. I remember sitting in her lap in a rocking chair as she sang and read to me. She let me eat corn and olives for breakfast because I hated bacon and eggs. She gave me a kitten and let me help her in the kitchen. She was a sweet grandma.
I never knew my Porter grandfather nor my Humphries grandfather, Marshall Davis Humphries. It is a shame that I was cheated out of this pleasure, but I had a lot of great aunts and uncles to take up the slack! I was named after my grandfather, Mary Marshall Porter, and I carried that name on to my son, James Marshall Fitzpatrick. I love family ties and I love family names. It is one way of carrying on tradition and it is a way to spark memories.
Pearl and Marshall did a great job with their family. I am proud to be a part of this lineage. I share so many traits with some of these Humphries' and I know Mom has always felt blessed. I like to hear her talk about her family because she always does so with such love and devotion in her voice.
And memories are made of this.
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| Mom and Me 1985 |
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| The Clan celebrating Jessie's Birthday 1989 |
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| Pearl and Marshall Humphries with Fernia |
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| Beautiful Bea Humphries |
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| Jessie |
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| Mom as teenager |
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| Jessie's Bible on my coffee table |
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| Martha and Bob Van Sleen sharing a laugh |
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| Christmas 1977 Shelia with Mom & Dad and Jessie & Bob |
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| Mildred's Birthday 1992 loving on Madeline with big brother Joseph looking on |
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| Beautiful Great Grandma Jessie with Joseph 1981 |
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| Great Grandma Jessie sharing her treats with Jimmy Christmas Eve 1984 |
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| Cis and Dow, Jessie and Bob, Jimmy |
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| Mildred, Mom and Homer August 1991 |
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| Jessie with Madeline and Jimmy June 2009 |
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| Martha and Me Christmas 1994 SISTER LOVE |
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| Mom and Jessie More Sister Love |
