Memories Are Made of This: Phyllis

Phyllis Hammock was one of a kind. No one would dispute that. We sadly lost her right after Christmas. I was so saddened and shocked to learn about her passing, but I am trying to do what Phyllis would have wanted.....keep her spirit alive and remember all the wonderful things about her.

Since she died, I think about her often. I have thought of so many precious memories, so I decided to blog about some of them. I think Phyllis would like that.

I don't think you could meet Phyllis and not like her. She was a very likable soul. She was always upbeat, positive and smiling. Phyllis was very touchy-feely, and you couldn't have a conversation with her without her touching your arm or shoulder or grabbing your hands. That was one of the things that was so endearing about her. You knew if you were talking to her she was listening and engaged. Her eyes always met yours.
The last time I saw Phyllis was when Martha was in the hospital and then at her funeral. Phyllis was so saddened by this but was there with us throughout it all. She will never know how much it meant to me and my family to have her and Tony there with us through this horrible ordeal. That is what family is all about. Phyllis held my hands, gave me hugs and cried right along with me. Although this was a sad occasion, it is sort of fitting that it will be the last memory I have with Phyllis. I definitely feel a bond there.

When I first met Phyllis, I was a just a girl living on Ridgeview Drive. Tony and Phyllis would come to Shelby to visit Jessie. I loved to go to Jessie's house and play with Phyllis' boys, Tommy and Ward. I thought they were the cutest little things! I can shut my eyes and see them running around Jessie's backyard with their holsters and guns and big cowboy hats. They were such 'boys.'

Throughout time, I got to know Phyllis better and better. She enjoyed being part of our family and we loved having her as well. She and Tony were inseparable. Whenever Tony called us or called Jessie, you knew you would also get to talk to Phyllis. They were a package deal!

I remember when Jim and I were engaged and it was my birthday about one month before our wedding. We had dinner at Tony and Phyllis' house in Zebulon, NC. Mom and Dad had come to Elon to visit us and we drove to The Hammocks. I remember when we drove up, there was a brown Mustang in the driveway with a huge bow on top! It was a surprise for me....birthday/engagement gift. It was my first car and it was a total and complete shock! I was so happy and so amazed. Tony owned a car dealership then and he and my dad had made a deal. I think it was a wonderful moment for us all. Leave it to my Dad to do something so amazing and wonderful. Of course, I am sure my Mom had her hand in it too, but she took the background, as usual. She let Daddy have this 'moment.' I can see Phyllis in the foreground....hands over her mouth stifling her smiles and laughter! Surprises are awesome and this one really took the cake. I am glad I got to share this moment with Mom, Dad, Jim and Tony and Phyllis. It is something to add to my special memory bank. Phyllis will always be a part of this wonderful memory.

I think it might have been that same evening when we ate a delicious meal...steaks on the grill and all the trimmings. I remember going apes over the scalloped potatoes and being the bride-to-be, I was very interested in recipes. I asked Phyllis to share her recipe and she very boldly told everyone it was her 'famous secret recipe!' Phyllis grabbed my elbow and drug me into the kitchen. I was so excited to be privvy to this secret recipe. She whispered in my ear and dared me never to tell a soul....her secret recipe was 'Betty Crocker.' I still didn't get it, so I agreed to keep the secret. At that moment she opened the cabinet and reached into the garbage can and pulled out a cardboard box of Betty Crocker scalloped potatoes! This product was very new at that time and I was so impressed because we all thought they were delicious! I never forgot Phyllis' secret recipe, and oftentimes I have called upon old Betty Cocker to help me out when needed. Phyllis was so funny like that! I smile just typing this as I can visualize that moment like it was yesterday.

Another Phyllis moment that is probably the dearest to me is the time we were at her home on Christmas Eve. I loved the years when we lived in Raleigh at the same time Tony and Phyllis lived in Raleigh. That was when Jessie and Bob still travelled and they came to Raleigh for Christmas. Mom and Dad often came to Raleigh too, so sometimes it was the whole gang. Anyway, this particular Christmas Eve is filled with two stories worth remembering.
One is that I was pregnant with my first child. It was December 24th and my due date was December 17th. Noboby knows that I went to the hospital on a false alarm on the wee hours of the morning of December 23th! Mom and Dad were visiting but were on their way back to NC to spend Christmas with Martha and the rest of the family. I don't think I ever told them that we snuck out to the hospital and got sent back on a false alarm 'charge.' Nowadays, no one would be allowed to go that far past their due date. Joesph wasn't born until January 3rd...despite Jim's request to the doctors to get him here in time for a tax break! But I digress....
We were at Tony and Phyllis' for Christmas Eve. Bob and Jessie were there and Tommy and Ward. We had a wonderful dinner and everyone was so worried about me. I guess I looked like I was going to literally burst at any moment! Jessie was particularly worried, but I really felt fine and I figured I might as well carry on. So, I went into the kitchen to help Phyllis clean up after dinner. This comes to the second part of the story and the part I love most. Phyllis didn't want to put me to any trouble, but with my insistence, she finally said I could help her 'ranch' the dishes! I questioned the word 'ranch,' and she laughed. She said that is the way she has always said 'rinse.' We laughed so hard I thought I truly might actually go into labor right then and there!
I did, in fact, help Phyllis by 'ranching' the dishes. From then on I received an annual Christmas card from Tony and Phyllis. Phyllis always signed the cards (as do I for Jim and myself) and she always made a note that she missed me because she needed someone there with her to 'ranch' the dishes.
I know it doesn't seem as funny in print, but in all my mind, that is the thing I will remember most about Phyllis and I will smile with my memories. I guess it is important to have a little 'inside joke' with someone you care about. It is that something that you have to carry around with you forever in memory of that person. I will always and forever 'ranch' my dishes and remember that Christmas Eve 33 years ago. Memories are made of this.

I have blogged before about Phyllis' amazing artistic talent. Thank God she realized she had this talent. She has left behind a legacy of amazing and beautiful pieces of art that many of us own. Looking at a Phyllis Hammock original makes one smile. Knowing the artist makes one laugh out loud! Phyllis loved life and she wanted her art to provoke smiles and laughter. The first piece of art we had to hang in our home when we got married was our wedding gift from Tony and Phyllis....an original Phyllis Hammock painting.
I am a bit of an artist myself, so when I see work as wonderful as Phyllis', I can truly marvel. I could never do what she did and I know it not only brought joy to her as she created these pieces, but it brought joy to those who have her artwork hanging in their homes. It makes her immortal in some ways.

Phyllis loved little yippy dogs. She always had them. They were white and cute and they looked like they belonged to Phyllis. I am sorry to say I can't remember their names, but I do think one of them was named Prissy. I just know Phyllis loved her dogs and I think of them when I think of her.
I also remember that Phyllis had little lights on her indoor schefflera plants. I thought that was so cool 35 years ago! Phyllis was an inspiration to me. She dressed to the hilt and always looked like a model, and her home decor was wonderful and creative. Sometimes now when we sit on the lania and talk about our plants, Jim will say something about Phyllis and the cute little white lights she always had on her plants! It is amazing how some things just stick with you.

I know when Phyllis died and Tony planned her memorial service, he said he didn't want any wailing and crying. He wanted people to remember Phyllis for Phyllis. As I have said, Phyllis was aways cheerful and upbeat. I don't think anyone could remember her sad or downtrodden if they tried. So Tony had it right. I was sad that I could not get a flight to Little River for the service, but I was happy to learn from Tony that the service was as he had hoped for....no crying and wailing and plenty of stories about Phyllis' deeds, goodwill, and fun. I know they told the story of Phyllis taking initiative. One time many years ago, Tony told Phyllis they couldn't afford to buy a new sofa, so Phyllis did what only Phyllis would do....she PAINTED the old sofa to look like she wanted it to look. No lie. Tony said the 11 gallons of paint it took to cover the sofa cost more than a new sofa would have cost! Only Phyllis.
Had I been at the service, I think I would have been compelled to stand up and talk about the moment Phyllis and I cleaned up, me about to explode with an overdue first child, and me learning the art of 'ranching' dishes.

And memories are made of this.

RIP Phyllis Hammock.