Memories Are Made of This: Next Generation Cousins

I recently wrote a blog about my cousins. The comments I received from those cousins as well as other blog readers made me go back and re-read the blog several times. I love how each individual reacted to the blog in so many different ways!
The reactions led me to think about my own children and their cousins. Cousins create a truly special type of relationship. They aren't the same as siblings, but they are close. They don't live in the same household, but their parents' did. It is a different relationship than that of friends by the fact that cousins are relatives and because of that, they spend of lot special time together. They are around for special events, holidays, and anything that involves family.

My children are blessed with a lot of cousins. I married a man who is one of 6 siblings, so that creates a lot of cousins! Interestingly, Jim's two sisters each have one boy and one girl, whereas Jim and two of his brothers each have two boys and one girl! Johnny, Jim's youngest sibling, has one child, a beautiful little girl. Up until Adrianna was born, Madeline was the baby of the family! There is an age gap between Madeline and Adrianna, and there is also a distance gap. Unfortunately, my children don't know Adrianna well. Some things cannot be controlled, but maybe one day there will be more opportunities for not only my children, but Jim and myself as well, to get to know this youngest member of the Fitzpatrick clan a bit better!

Jim's six siblings span 20 years from the oldest to the youngest! Therefore, throughout time, some cousins were closer than others. Not only is the age span wide, but so is the distance span. Jim's siblings currently reside in California, Arizona, New Jersey, North Carolina, and Florida. That covers a huge part of the country! Expand that further, and our nieces and nephews, (our children's cousins), are even more spread out! There has also been a lot of moving around of these cousins so getting everyone together at one time is a huge feat!

From time to time, the various cousins have all had experiences together and will always have tales to tell. I know that any time my children got to see and spend time with any of their Fitzpatrick cousins, it was a good time! I think the new age of Facebook has helped them all reconnect and find out what is going on in each other's lives. I think this is one of the best things about Facebook and probably one of its main intentions. I know I love reading the posts from my nieces and nephews and their children. I love seeing pictures of them and watching them grow. It is the next best thing to seeing them in person! They are all wonderful people and there are so many varied interests among them. Something will spark a connection between two or more cousins and they get to share and reminisce. They will always have their stories to tell also.

Since this blog really started about Mom, her home, her things and the stories behind them, I wanted to focus this blog on the next generation of cousins that relate to Mom. Basically, this is my children and Porter. Unlike the Fitzpatrick clan, this side of our family really isn't very big. Some families really are shrinking.

There is an age difference between Porter and my children, but nonetheless, they have managed to do things and they have their stories to tell. Needless to say, Joseph and Jimmy have fewer stories to tell about Porter than Madeline, but they definitely have their share. I have always tried to keep the family close-knit, and Martha and I never lost touch during her lifetime. We always knew what each other was doing and what was going on in each of our lives. We tried to get together and be together as often as time would allow. Having children makes you busier than ever, but after Porter was born, Martha made even more effort to spend time with me and my family. I think she was trying to help create memories and stories for Porter. She knew the importance of cousins and family ties. I am glad Martha set the tone for this because we never plan to lose that connection. Actually, it is out of our hands anyway. The bond has been formed between the cousins and they are old enough to carry on and create their own memories. I love to be included, but I also love that they take the initiative to do things on their own.

Madeline and Porter are exceptionally close, despite the 6 year age difference. I have lots and lots of stories involving them. But I also have a few good stories of my boys and Porter.

I remember when we all met Porter for the first time. It was Christmas and he was one month old. Something snapped in my husband that Christmas and he got me a little kitten, Peabo! Peabo was tiny and new and we were leaving the day after we got him to drive to Shelby for Christmas and to meet little Porter. We decided we had to take Peabo because it was so last minute and we didn't have anyone to watch him. I was stressed out because Mom is not fond of "creatures" in her home and I was especially nervous because we were going to meet the newest little member of our family. I didn't want to worry about the kitten bothering him. Peabo (and I) survived the visit, and Mom was such a good sport about it. I think having Porter to dote on helped ease the fact that a little tiny kitten was living in her laundry room temporarily. I worked hard to keep the baby kitten away from the baby Porter!
I remember Joseph and Jimmy loving the little kitten and fascinated with their new cousin! It had been 6 years since they experienced having a baby around....their little sister, Madeline. I think Porter has always had a special affection for Peabo, our 16 year old cat. In some cosmic way, they formed a connection. That Christmas was a Christmas of firsts.

Martha couldn't have been prouder of her new little son and we were all thrilled to have a new addition to the family. There is nothing like a baby to bring joy to a family! Everyone wanted to hold Porter, and although Martha was nervous, Joseph and Jimmy were "pros" at holding and feeding babies. They were so enamored with Madeline when she first came into our home. Martha relented and let them have their turns holding and loving on their little baby cousin.

The admiration grew. I recently told Porter about a time when we all went to their house at Lake Lure. Jimmy was trying to teach Porter to fish and he also spent time with him in inner tubes in the water. I think it was one of those moments when Porter enjoyed having an older boy around....he was used to all us old people and of course, his special girl cousin, Madeline!
After a day of swimming, fishing, and boating, we were on the deck awaiting dinner....one of Bob's famous grilled hamburgers.
There was a porch swing and Jimmy was swinging on it...hands behind his head and legs stretched out. Porter climbed up beside him and put his hands behind his head and stretched his legs out. He quietly looked over at Jimmy and they just enjoyed the quiet dusk at the lake and the swinging in the porch swing. Monkey see, monkey do. In my eyes, it was a truly precious sight.

Porter liked music and always wanted to "perform." He was often picking up objects and using them as microphones. He would sing along with all kinds of music, particularly country. Although Joseph didn't necessarily like country music, he has always appreciated and loved music in general. I think he got the biggest kick out of watching Porter get into the music like he did.

Speaking of music, I am sure Porter will never cease hearing either Mom, Madeline or me reminding him of the time he stood on Mom's front steps with his "microphone," a police billy club (that for some reason Mom always had in a drawer by her bed). He was singing a song he made up as he went. The lyrics went something like this: "I love Madeline, she is so beautiful. She is my cousin and I love her so much. She is so very beautiful." This went on and on for some time and his little voice was so sweet and so sincere. I am sure he doesn't do this any more, but I do believe he loves Madeline and thinks she is so beautiful! They definitely have a wonderful cousin relationship.

Along the same vein, Porter would visit us in Florida and stand on my hearth and use a real microphone that I have and sing along to my CDs. He loved an audience, and I am pretty sure he thought he was a good singer! I know now he knows otherwise....(ha ha!). I remember a Melissa Manchester CD I had that he would sing along with. He has come a long way from that to Nicki Minaj!

Porter loves to come to my house for Thanksgiving. I love that he has created this lovely tradition. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite times of the year, and we always have such a wonderful time. The "kids" all think I'm crazy because I come up with all sorts of arts and crafts and games to play, but I know they love it....even if they tease me unmercifully for it! It's okay, because I have always been teased. I think I'm just the tease-able type. Paul Porter was a pro....he teased me all the time and called me Dimples and Freckles. I was also very gullible!
We like to participate in the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning. It means getting up at an ungodly hour, but it is a nice way to kick off the holiday. The sea of people that participate is indescribable. I walk along with the moms and kids and make no pretense to try to go fast or win. Porter, on the other hand, is on a mission to beat Eric, Madeline's fiance, in the 5K run. He comes within minutes and each year he closes the gap more. The day is going to come when Porter puts Eric in his place! I love it that Porter likes to join us in this Thanksgiving tradition.
This past year, I took a step out of the kitchen and let Porter make the macaroni and cheese and Madeline made the stuffing. They did a tremendous job and I recently asked them if they wanted to make this a tradition. They both said yes, so I like knowing I'll have a little help in the kitchen from now on!

I wrote about the bubble gum incident that I shared with my cousin, Ellen. She reminded me that she blew a bubble bigger than her head and it popped and she spent days getting the gum out of her beautiful long hair. Oh law.
The bubble gum and candy sweet-tooth doesn't skip a generation! Porter, Madeline and Jimmy have it to a fault. I don't think Joseph joins them in this, and I view that as a good thing! They are all candy fanatics and they always want to buy candy when they are together. No one sees an age difference when the three of them get together to buy and eat candy. It is a disgusting display and they all act like little children! I actually don't mind it because I miss the days of having little kids around. It is hard to believe that Porter is almost 17. There are no little kids in our family anymore.
I have asked them all not to grow up because I never want to lose the childlike innocence they display when they are together eating candy, playing games, or going on scavenger hunts.
I love my kids so much, and I love Porter like he was one of my kids. I must say, they help keep me young....even though my "kids" are 32, 29, and 23!

I guess there is an unspoken pecking order in families. Joseph is the oldest and will always be viewed as that special first born child. He has some wonderful memories of his Aunt Martha. She was so happy to become an aunt, just as I was when Porter was born. I suppose there is an "aunt blog" inside me somewhere! I think Joseph has some significant fond memories of his Aunt Martha taking him to Chuckie Cheese, McDonald's, and the park. Just as Joseph is the oldest, Porter will always be the youngest.
I only wish Joe Porter was around to experience the joy of 4 grandchildren. When he passed away, he had 2 grandsons and he was the proudest grandfather on the planet. I know he is beaming in heaven as he knows that he now has 4 grandchildren who are always creating wonderful cousin memories. I think family is all that really mattered to him, to me, and to my cousins. We are blessed that we were all raised to see the beauty and the bond in family.

Porter and Madeline have so many memories that range from The Candy Kitchen to tacky tee shirt stores in Myrtle Beach. They took "prom" pictures at Hamburger Joe's as Madeline hoisted an almost 6 foot tall Porter up on her shoulders.
They laugh until they cry and Porter makes us all happy because he laughs and giggles at everything. Sometimes Madeline and I feel like we must be the funniest people on the planet!
Jimmy and Joseph grew taller than their Dad....which made him happy....and almost reached 6 feet tall. Their "little" cousin, Porter, towers over them! Despite the size difference or the age difference the family resemblance is incredible. When they are all together, there is no doubt they are related.

I hope that in the future Madeline, Porter, Jimmy and Joseph will all sit around and talk about their memories and tell the stories of the experiences they had as cousins.
I know the love and the family bond is there. They don't have the luxury of living in the same town and going to the same schools as I had with my cousins, but I know that time, age and distance cannot break that bond that is the cousin-bond.
The best thing about these cousins is that their story is just beginning! They have a lifetime to add to the memories and create new stories to tell.

And memories are made of this.